I hate making Friends in Real Life

[SophiaGrace]

The attempts to talk to them and then they don't text back or trying to make a good impression and then replaying the conversation over and over and over and over again in my head afterwards thinking "oh my god, i totally screwed up. They must hate me. They're going to reject me. They must think the worst of me. They must not really like me. Ihate myself, therefore they must hate me too."

>_<

fresia.

I can't go back to the way I was before though. All my friends online.

Driving me insane.

I must continue even though I want to just crawl into the deepest darkest hole and never come back out.

I hate this yet i need to do it at the same time.

 

[Confused Owl]

You know what SCREW THEM!!! I have the same problem, I just can't seem to make friends. And even though I am probably referred to "that girl who sits in the back" I don't care. Because I know that one day I will find someone that is special, and will care about me the same way I care about them. But for now I remain proud for who I am and who I will be, and every day I help others, because I know that each and every person deserves a chance, and if you give them that chance they to will give you that same chance.
I'm sorry I kind of rambled a bit...
But keep waiting and searching for that person who will help you up when things don't go your way.

 

[Capacitive Reactance]

It's so frustrating to me to think that a lot of these people walking around might actually like me and care about me if they got to know me, but I don't have access to that because of these social barriers.

 

[Trent]

^that^ sophia, is why i choose not to have friends

they are rarely worth the time, trouble, and pain

i'd much prefer a cat or two

 

[The Good Citizen]

I think its about managing your expectations Soph, early stages of friendships, they are fickle and can end as soon as they start, people's lives change all the time. I think a better frame of mind is not to worry about what you have or haven't said or done but just make the most of it and hope it lasts. While you have the opportunity to socialise, look to make more friends off the back of it, get a good pool of friends going that you can count on, always be open to new friendships. Once people have a few good friends they can tend to settle back and think 'thats me sorted' and then one day the friends move away and they can be isolated again. So I'd channel all that nervous energy into protecting what you've built and making it grow.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I got invited to a lesbian club tonigh to watch someone who dances there do a sign language performance.

fresia yeah.

 

[The Good Citizen]

I got invited to a lesbian club tonigh to watch someone who dances there do a sign language performance.

fresia yeah.

Now thats a night out!! You should go, you gonna go?

 

[Limlim]

I never get invited to a lesbian club. that's bullshit!

 

[mawmaw]

^that^ sophia, is why i choose not to have friends

they are rarely worth the time, trouble, and pain

i'd much prefer a cat or two

same here. i love my cat <3

 

[Gutted]

Be my friend

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

I got invited to a lesbian club tonigh to watch someone who dances there do a sign language performance.

fresia yeah.

fresia yeah! See, people do like you! Lesbians, even - the pickiest of all humans.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I couldn't go to the club. I had a paper I had to do. :/

I'm considering just shutting myself out from everyone because I'm tired of trying. This takes energy I don't like expending.

 

[Trent]

is going to a "lesbian" club like having a "black" friend?

 

[switch]

The attempts to talk to them and then they don't text back or trying to make a good impression and then replaying the conversation over and over and over and over again in my head afterwards thinking "oh my god, i totally screwed up. They must hate me. They're going to reject me. They must think the worst of me. They must not really like me. Ihate myself, therefore they must hate me too."

>_<

fresia.

I can't go back to the way I was before though. All my friends online.

Driving me insane.

I must continue even though I want to just crawl into the deepest darkest hole and never come back out.

I hate this yet i need to do it at the same time.

Making friends in real life can be difficult or just plain annoying! I think some friendships don't last because one person is always putting in more effort or sometimes people just grow apart.

I have known people in the past that have said you should never have to put any effort in to friendships. I disagree. I believe that we have to always put in effort when it comes to friendships or any kind of relationship to make it work.

One thing I really hate is when people don't text back! It's annoying. Especially when they are texting other people or updating their status using their phone.

I think replaying the conversation over and over is not doing you any good at all! When it comes to real life friends put yourself out there, make the effort and don't leave letting things play over and over! Don't question what you said or if you said the right thing. Don't question if they will like you more or hate you.... just let it be.

 

[SophiaGrace]

is going to a "lesbian" club like having a "black" friend?

No.

---

The attempts to talk to them and then they don't text back or trying to make a good impression and then replaying the conversation over and over and over and over again in my head afterwards thinking "oh my god, i totally screwed up. They must hate me. They're going to reject me. They must think the worst of me. They must not really like me. Ihate myself, therefore they must hate me too."

>_<

fresia.

I can't go back to the way I was before though. All my friends online.

Driving me insane.

I must continue even though I want to just crawl into the deepest darkest hole and never come back out.

I hate this yet i need to do it at the same time.

Making friends in real life can be difficult or just plain annoying! I think some friendships don't last because one person is always putting in more effort or sometimes people just grow apart.

I have known people in the past that have said you should never have to put any effort in to friendships. I disagree. I believe that we have to always put in effort when it comes to friendships or any kind of relationship to make it work.

One thing I really hate is when people don't text back! It's annoying. Especially when they are texting other people or updating their status using their phone.

I think replaying the conversation over and over is not doing you any good at all! When it comes to real life friends put yourself out there, make the effort and don't leave letting things play over and over! Don't question what you said or if you said the right thing. Don't question if they will like you more or hate you.... just let it be.

I think my attention is shifting inwards again to doing my schoolwork/solitary hobbies. Which isn't so bad. My schoolwork is ramping up since it's the 2nd half of the semester. It needs my focus.

 

[Tiina63]

Hi SophiaGrace, I am not sure what advice to give to you except to say that I think you are brave to keep on trying to make real life friends despite all your worries and setbacks. Like you, I often analyse over and over again what I say/do etc when I have been out with people, and think that everyone will be pulling me to pieces for it. So I can sympathise and understand what you are going through. When you want something very badly, it is normal to be over analytical. I am like this in dating situations, becuse I really want to be in a relationship.
What you really need is to make one friend, then you will be more relaxed about the whole proceedure with one success under your belt. But it is making this first friend which is difficult. All I can say is to keep on going out when you can. Maybe set yourself some goals, such as making small talk with one new person every time you go somewhere.

 

[roguewave]

In a way it is good timing because finals are coming up and everything. But in general, not the direction you want to go in.
The amount of energy it takes to make real life friends is massive. I remember making friends, or more accurately, people making friends with me, and then them wanting to hang out. And I would go out, even if I thought they were completely dull and boring or if they were addicted to drugs or if they talked nonstop about a romantic interest who was clearly stringing them along. It was completely and totally exhausting so I stopped agreeing to hang out.
Then I met this really cool girl who was intimidating to me because she was alpha and really interesting and accomplished and all. She wanted to be friends and do things together but since I was so out of practice I got scared and ran away. Now I have no real life friends.
Sometimes I think hanging out with people every once in a while is good practice, even if you know they aren't going to become friends.

Edit: The second guessing yourself is a real energy drain too. If I think I made a social mistake sometimes I do that but now I'm trying to think of ways I can make up for it next time or to not do it again.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

That's true for me, anytime I meet a friend in real life, it always go down hill. Always.... it's very hard trying to trust people these days.

 

[Anhedoni]

The attempts to talk to them and then they don't text back or trying to make a good impression and then replaying the conversation over and over and over and over again in my head afterwards thinking "oh my god, i totally screwed up. They must hate me. They're going to reject me. They must think the worst of me. They must not really like me. Ihate myself, therefore they must hate me too."

>_<

fresia.

I can't go back to the way I was before though. All my friends online.

Driving me insane.

I must continue even though I want to just crawl into the deepest darkest hole and never come back out.

I hate this yet i need to do it at the same time.

Well, you know what they say: "The worst is yet to come." A swedish writer, Bodil Malmsteen, turned that phrase upside down a couple of days ago, and said on tv: "What if the best things haven't happened yet?".

That's a comforting thought. Even though things might look grim, the best things are yet to come. Your best friend ever will run in to you in a month, two months, a year - and all of this wait will seem worthwhile.