RebeccaSarah33
Well-known member
lol this isn't going to be about anything, I just feel like typing stuff. Its funny how time changes life. My life was so different this time last year. It was so different just a few months ago. It all goes by so fast but its so slow at the same time. I cherish moments like I had last monday. I ended up having off from work, so did both of my parents. We decided to drive to a vacation town to do some shopping. Its pretty empty this time of year because theres nothing really there except tourism and its too cold for that... for all u Marylanders I'm talking about Ocean City.
I love Ocean City, its one of my favorite places to go, it usually always makes me happy to be there. I think it'd be so cool to live there for at least a year of my life. While over there it was pure fun. I haven't laughed so much in one day in awhile. There weren't any arguements between my family which was nice. We looked at condos to rent for the summer family reunion, lol some funny things happened while we were looking but I wont write here because its crude. I also got in the water up to my knees LOL, it was 40 something degrees outside and the water was ice cold, I got in to try to get a shell but it was stuck in some rocks so I got in for nothing.
Just the memories of that day with all the small things that happened will stick with me for a long time. I want my own family so badly. I'm tired of being alone. I want a husband more than I want kids and stuff, kids can come later after I've had some time with him, but I feel like... times passing so quickly. It seems like, all the girls my age that I know have kids, or have a family with kids and husband/boyfriend, or at least have a boyfriend, or are getting married.
even this one girl whos 4 years younger than me has two kids and a husband. I hate being alone. Well, at least I don't feel completely alone with a few people I talk with online now and again. One of my dearest friends wrote me this silly poem to make me giggle, it was just so fun that someone would take the time to do that.
I think I finally realize that I'm never done learning about life, because all the times I've thought I knew how to be a decent person some previously unseen awful thing about myself comes and slaps me in the face. So I just accept that I always have something to learn from whatever I'm currently going through, just have to find out what it is. I just recently learned lol... jealously is extremely unwelcomed and pushes people away... yea the opposite of what I could ever want. I guess I kinda always liked it though in a way like I wish someone felt jealous over me like didn't want me paying attention to others when they around, but that'll never happen LOL. so i learn and realize that those feelings never do anything for me but make me feel awful so im learning not to feel them.
I have two friends at work that have been just so nice to me lately it just feels so great when they are around. I hate coming home to an empty house. Sometimes I want to move out and have my own place and all my own things because I miss having my own place, but thats just as lonely as the empty house, but then at least I could have company over. I'm going to attempt this other job, but i dont know if thier actually hiring or not, but if they were, and i passed all the tests i'd make double what I make now. Then I could actually get my own place.
This is dumb, but I feel sorry for my cat LOL. My mom wants to get him neutered and I don't. He doesn't do anything bad so I don't see the need to. He doesn't pee in the house or hump anything, he just smacks the other cat around occasionally, but I think thats his personality not his maleness. I just feel sorry for him like, unecessary surgery. Hes already got it bad enough... hes partly blind. I think its just that my mom is really attached to this other cat, but she can't run away from a blind cat? c'mon. Hes not attacking her, hes just smacking around being playful like he always has. I've had him for more than 2 and a half years and suddenly its a problem? I guess I have an attachment to him too because I found him in the street on the way home from work one night. There was a buncha kittens in the road and they all ran but one, I got out and picked him up and brought him home, his eyes are all messed up.
I took him to a local vet and he didn't even register on thier scale, they had to round up to one pound.... awww so tiny, he was only a few ounces. I had to be like a mom and make formula for him every few hours for a few weeks. I'd set the timer two times in the night to feed him. I taught him how to use the litterbox. He would have never survived outside with his blindness. He runs into stuff all the time. I just don't want to have unecessary surgery, I would agree with it if he was messing in the house or actually attacking or hurting this other cat.... it just seems uneeded.
I wish I didn't feel so useless lol, I just want to love someone I guess I'm done typing stuff for now, I just felt like talking to myself haha
I love Ocean City, its one of my favorite places to go, it usually always makes me happy to be there. I think it'd be so cool to live there for at least a year of my life. While over there it was pure fun. I haven't laughed so much in one day in awhile. There weren't any arguements between my family which was nice. We looked at condos to rent for the summer family reunion, lol some funny things happened while we were looking but I wont write here because its crude. I also got in the water up to my knees LOL, it was 40 something degrees outside and the water was ice cold, I got in to try to get a shell but it was stuck in some rocks so I got in for nothing.
Just the memories of that day with all the small things that happened will stick with me for a long time. I want my own family so badly. I'm tired of being alone. I want a husband more than I want kids and stuff, kids can come later after I've had some time with him, but I feel like... times passing so quickly. It seems like, all the girls my age that I know have kids, or have a family with kids and husband/boyfriend, or at least have a boyfriend, or are getting married.
even this one girl whos 4 years younger than me has two kids and a husband. I hate being alone. Well, at least I don't feel completely alone with a few people I talk with online now and again. One of my dearest friends wrote me this silly poem to make me giggle, it was just so fun that someone would take the time to do that. I think I finally realize that I'm never done learning about life, because all the times I've thought I knew how to be a decent person some previously unseen awful thing about myself comes and slaps me in the face. So I just accept that I always have something to learn from whatever I'm currently going through, just have to find out what it is. I just recently learned lol... jealously is extremely unwelcomed and pushes people away... yea the opposite of what I could ever want. I guess I kinda always liked it though in a way like I wish someone felt jealous over me like didn't want me paying attention to others when they around, but that'll never happen LOL. so i learn and realize that those feelings never do anything for me but make me feel awful so im learning not to feel them.
I have two friends at work that have been just so nice to me lately
it just feels so great when they are around. I hate coming home to an empty house. Sometimes I want to move out and have my own place and all my own things because I miss having my own place, but thats just as lonely as the empty house, but then at least I could have company over. I'm going to attempt this other job, but i dont know if thier actually hiring or not, but if they were, and i passed all the tests i'd make double what I make now. Then I could actually get my own place. This is dumb, but I feel sorry for my cat LOL. My mom wants to get him neutered and I don't. He doesn't do anything bad so I don't see the need to. He doesn't pee in the house or hump anything, he just smacks the other cat around occasionally, but I think thats his personality not his maleness. I just feel sorry for him like, unecessary surgery. Hes already got it bad enough... hes partly blind. I think its just that my mom is really attached to this other cat, but she can't run away from a blind cat? c'mon. Hes not attacking her, hes just smacking around being playful like he always has. I've had him for more than 2 and a half years and suddenly its a problem? I guess I have an attachment to him too because I found him in the street on the way home from work one night. There was a buncha kittens in the road and they all ran but one, I got out and picked him up and brought him home, his eyes are all messed up.
I took him to a local vet and he didn't even register on thier scale, they had to round up to one pound.... awww so tiny, he was only a few ounces. I had to be like a mom and make formula for him every few hours for a few weeks. I'd set the timer two times in the night to feed him. I taught him how to use the litterbox. He would have never survived outside with his blindness. He runs into stuff all the time. I just don't want to have unecessary surgery, I would agree with it if he was messing in the house or actually attacking or hurting this other cat.... it just seems uneeded.
I wish I didn't feel so useless lol, I just want to love someone
I guess I'm done typing stuff for now, I just felt like talking to myself haha
