Fvantom
Well-known member
WARNING: Incoming Rant, if youre planning on leaving any judgemental replies, stop reading here.
Tonight was pretty bad, I went for a walk to clear my mind and ended up doing just the opposite, I started thinking about how lonely I really am. Im 20, never had any real friends in my life, and yes, I know Im still pretty young and have time, Im still forcibly reminded regularly where I stand. I still have no friends, pretty much everyone I know has met their closest friends 10+ years ago.......10 years ago, ya know what was happening to me ten years ago? I was the one person everyone in the school hated, I was too busy being stripped of all my social skills to be making friends. After the 2 years of hell I went through I was too scared to even ******* look at another person my age let alone talk to them, honeysuckle, I still feel awkward talking to people. All through middle school, all through high school, when people are supposed to be carefree, having fun with their friends, I had to sit by myself as if I never existed.
And now, I see people with their good friends, talking about how great of a time they all have together, and then they ***** about things like girl problems, getting all depressed because one girl dumped them, calling themselves depressed and lonely, meanwhile theyre surrounded by friends who love them, friends that half the time they dont deserve. If I died tomorrow, I doubt anyone would even notice, let alone care.
I have no way of meeting people, I use Facebook a lot, I want nothing more than to delete my profile and never set mouse or keyboard into that site ever again...but I have no other way of meeting people, so Im stuck.....
sorry about this, its been a bad night.
Tonight was pretty bad, I went for a walk to clear my mind and ended up doing just the opposite, I started thinking about how lonely I really am. Im 20, never had any real friends in my life, and yes, I know Im still pretty young and have time, Im still forcibly reminded regularly where I stand. I still have no friends, pretty much everyone I know has met their closest friends 10+ years ago.......10 years ago, ya know what was happening to me ten years ago? I was the one person everyone in the school hated, I was too busy being stripped of all my social skills to be making friends. After the 2 years of hell I went through I was too scared to even ******* look at another person my age let alone talk to them, honeysuckle, I still feel awkward talking to people. All through middle school, all through high school, when people are supposed to be carefree, having fun with their friends, I had to sit by myself as if I never existed.
And now, I see people with their good friends, talking about how great of a time they all have together, and then they ***** about things like girl problems, getting all depressed because one girl dumped them, calling themselves depressed and lonely, meanwhile theyre surrounded by friends who love them, friends that half the time they dont deserve. If I died tomorrow, I doubt anyone would even notice, let alone care.
I have no way of meeting people, I use Facebook a lot, I want nothing more than to delete my profile and never set mouse or keyboard into that site ever again...but I have no other way of meeting people, so Im stuck.....
sorry about this, its been a bad night.