Would you say the likelihood is he never will?
The man I'm talking about is me. I'm in my 36th year and have yet to go on my first date, have my first kiss etc. I can't believe I've reached this point.
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To many words version: Nah, never say never. Head up. Goonies never say die.
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It depends on certain variables, of course.
How much social exposure do you make for yourself...
What kind of person have you cultivated inside of you...
Then there are the factors beyond one's control...
And then, unfortunately, desperation, can really show in a person, as well as inexperience. Which makes things hard, because you can't fake experience, you either have it or you don't. And then desperation, you can't really, 'mask.' And if you try not to be desperate, you end up just desperate to not be desperate, which is still just being desperate.
Add in a nice pinch of despair and hopelessness, and it makes things a bit difficult (or at least seem to be; perception is half the battle).
Fun stuff...
The self-help books, and well organized people in general, or even just common folk wisdom says: break the problem down into manageable pieces, and work at them one by one, or little by little.
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You'd be surprised what can happen, though...
They say life can end at any moment, and it can. But life can begin at any moment as well.
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I think the really hard part, is having to do things alone... Some things are just miraculously easier, when you have some one, or multiple people, on your team...
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I have one little ritual I do every day, as a reminder of where I want to be, and what is important to me. Been doing it for years. I just need to remember. I don't work very hard towards the changes I need to make though. It seems a bit too insurmountable. But, I try to keep a stoic optimism about things. I'm just tired of the all the MAGA boomer pull yourself up by your boot straps bullshit. But, I refuse to be a fatalist determinism type either. The whole culture we live in is such bullshit, just wait for it to steamroll you like it probably will no matter how hard you give it a go, or wait for the turning of the world to come back around and catch you on the next spin (great philosophy, huh!?).
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It's hard. Trying not to try is still trying. Desiring not to desire, is still desire. Life can be tricky... Seems like those little moments in life, where we go, 'ahah,' aren't so much of all the thought that came before it. Sometimes, perhaps yes. Other times no. It's like the outcome of a rain dance is a bit dependent on the weather.
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The sad thing is, there are people who have been married for years, who are absolutely dead miserable with each other, trying to figure out their mess. There's people who have wealth and riches and are suicidal. There's people that have so much sex available to them, they think it's a problem and seek help for it (lol). And then there's people from all walks of life, doing pretty much, 'okay.' They aren't great, and aren't terrible, just okay. Some of them complain a lot, others you'd barely know existed, because they are very... Nose to the grindstone types? Maybe?
Some are well off, some are third world country poor; and either or can be well adjusted or not. And then there are the times in our life, when things are fantastic, short and brief as they may be; perhaps some times even long and savory.
Not sure what my point was...
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*sigh* maybe there doesn't need to be one..
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When all else fails, Trust in the Universe, pray / send an S.O.S. to the Universe/G-d/etc.., talk to a tree, meditate, go for a walk, donate some money, try to send some kindness out into that sea of troubles, read a book...
Perhaps read some success stories of people who were in the same place, but found a way out...
