Josh206043
Member
That's too true.
If I left, no one would notice my disappearance
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Astral_Punisher
Well-known member
People would notice me if I disappeared.
It's the CARING about my disappearance that wouldn't be there.
It's the CARING about my disappearance that wouldn't be there.
P
perfanoff
Guest
If I saw you disappear to thin air, I would be really fascinated!
AFrozenSoul
Well-known member
People would notice at first, but then they would forget. That is what happens to me.
ardour
Well known loser
The people who would notice would be family (consisting of 2 people), and of course they would notice I was missing at work.
My "friends" never initiate, so it's quite likely they would never know if I was run over by a bus.
My "friends" never initiate, so it's quite likely they would never know if I was run over by a bus.
Astral_Punisher
Well-known member
rdor said:
You know what is sad?
I was hit by an SUV (not a bus, but still) in a car accident, and my friends didn't call me for months after. I was fairly healed by the time they found out. "Really, you were in an accident?" they said. "Yes" I said, and showed them the scars and bruises, and pictures of my destroyed vehicle.
You know what was even WORSE?
A friend, whom I had known for roughly 10 years, had committed suicide right around the time of the crash. My family didn't want me to be in more pain than I already was, so they didn't tell me until a few months later. So I was both forgotten by my friends, and I had forgot about one of my friends.
I sometimes have nightmares where he is there again, and we are hanging out. Then I wake up and feel unbelievably sad...
Ak5
Well-known member
That must be horrible Astral, both the crash and losing a friend.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Helo Astral-I am so sorry that you suffered both the accident and also the loss of your friend. But don't feel guilty about 'forgetting' your friend. Nobody told you what had happened and you were in a lot of pain youself at the time.
If I left, my friends would notice, but it would not have a massive impact on their lives.
If I left, my friends would notice, but it would not have a massive impact on their lives.
P
perfanoff
Guest
I'm sorry Astral. It reminds me of that a relative of mine died and his wife failed to inform me, even when I was asking when he would be back (I know he works for the army sometimes). His elderly parents still don't know that he passed away.
But maybe it's for the best, honestly I don't know.
But maybe it's for the best, honestly I don't know.
ardour
Well known loser
"friends" who never initiate contact simply aren't friends
Astral_Punisher
Well-known member
Thanks for your kind thoughts, guys.
I don't want to take over this thread, and I'm sorry if I have, OP, but I just wanted to tell that little story about people forgetting people.
It seems that many people expect you to be the 'contactor' theses days...
I find it tough to go out of my way to talk to people that aren't very interesting, so if we take that line of thinking, I suppose from my 'friends' point of view, I must not be very interesting either. heh.
Sometimes, you just gotta bite the bullet, and make the first move. And, yes, this first move often is a pain in the ass to do, but hey, I believe that's the price of having 'friends'.
I don't want to take over this thread, and I'm sorry if I have, OP, but I just wanted to tell that little story about people forgetting people.
rdor said:
It seems that many people expect you to be the 'contactor' theses days...
I find it tough to go out of my way to talk to people that aren't very interesting, so if we take that line of thinking, I suppose from my 'friends' point of view, I must not be very interesting either. heh.
Sometimes, you just gotta bite the bullet, and make the first move. And, yes, this first move often is a pain in the ass to do, but hey, I believe that's the price of having 'friends'.
ardour
Well known loser
Astral_Punisher said:
Ah yeah, but there's a limit to the number of times you're willing to bite the bullet before it gets seriously embarassing.
Some just think it's normal to move on from whatever situation they were in, be it work or study, and forget about people. A bit like "well I no longer see you on a regular basis, so this holds no value to me now" or "nice knowing you but I already belong to a long-established clique, so if there's any contact you can be **** sure it will be you making the effort, got it??"
Or maybe they take the friendship for granted as assume they'll catch up one day.
Yes I do know the difference between an acquaintance, "work friend" and the real thing.
Your friends, if they consider themselves that, should be ashamed, by the way.
Astral_Punisher
Well-known member
rdor said:
I really appreciate you saying my friends were being 'silly' when they didn't contact me. It seemed at the time that everyone thought it was normal, which made me feel really bad.
About people falling into cliques, or not contacting based on meeting them often, I agree completely.
People seem to want what's easy, and if you aren't 100% easy to see or contact, they simply don't make the effort. I went out of my way to contact some people after my accident, when I was able to see them in person, and was wondering why they didn't call. I felt pretty pathetic, and like they didn't care at all. Of course they were sympathetic, but this was after probably two months of me not contacting them...
