I'm imaginary, but I'm no one's friend.

[Frozen]

Hey, lonely people. I'm here because my internet friends, who used to be as sad and lonely as me, are not that way anymore, and it's driving me to a very dark and isolated place. Probably with a chainsaw in its trunk.

I thought I was a friendless loser in high school, but then I graduated and realized I had it pretty good. Five years later, I have one (~real life~) friend. I spent my last 7 birthdays crying, without a party as an excuse, because I was alone. Well, except for the friend I've been attached to at the hip for those 7 years: Major Depression.

I've never been romantic or sexual with anyone, either. Never been on a date. Never even held hands, and I can count on one hand the number of people who have expressed interest in me - none of them flattering. I'm almost 24 years old; people all around me are getting engaged, married, starting to have children ... and at this pace, I'm afraid I might have to get married after my first date if I don't want to die alone! All I want is to feel connected to someone. To hold hands. :/

People don't talk to me. They don't seek me out, and when I initiate contact, I'm ignored or forgotten. There must be something so deeply wrong with me that other people can sense it and are instinctively repulsed, no matter how enthusiastically I chat and laugh and smile. They just ... know. Somehow, they know.

Yet I can't blame the bright, lively people around me for not seeing anything worthy in me. They move and change and live ... and I don't. I do nothing. I have no charisma, no talents, no achievements, no goals or dreams or connections. Hell, I don't even drink alcohol, which, to my endless RAGE, has made being social a source of nothing but anxiety that was never there before I turned 21. I don't know anyone my age who does anything without the involvement of alcohol, not even going to a **** movie. Bam, I'm instantly awkward and excluded and boring. Not that I have a problem with drunk people - I've actually realized that drunk people are easier to get along with than sober ones, which was ... startling. I know I'm kind of weird and silly, but people can't understand me until they're actually DRUNK?? Whatever, it's better than nothing.

The feeling that has always been there ... the feeling that I don't really exist, that I'm not quite real, that I'm not wholly alive ... keeps intensifying. It hurts so much that I have the actual, physical urge to reach into my abdomen and tear my guts out with my bare hands.

I'm a lonely one, too. It's nice to meet you.

 

[Tiina63]

Loneliness does often make me feel as though I don't exist properly too. Other people seem so grounded and secure in their identities whereas I feel insubstantial, almost transparent. So I understand how you are feeling. Although nowadays we are told that we have to be happy and secure alone etc I think that we derive a lot of our sense of self from others and if we are not getting this affirmation, then we do feel insubstantial. Like you, I talk and laugh with others, but somehow I am instantly easily overlooked or forgotten, and I wonder like you if there is something wrong with me. I don't think it can be solely down to the fact that I am on the quiet side, as plenty of quiet people are not overlooked to the extent that I am. I don't know what the asnwer is, but I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

 

[Solivagant]

Loneliness does often make me feel as though I don't exist properly too. Other people seem so grounded and secure in their identities whereas I feel insubstantial, almost transparent. So I understand how you are feeling. Although nowadays we are told that we have to be happy and secure alone etc I think that we derive a lot of our sense of self from others and if we are not getting this affirmation, then we do feel insubstantial. Like you, I talk and laugh with others, but somehow I am instantly easily overlooked or forgotten, and I wonder like you if there is something wrong with me. I don't think it can be solely down to the fact that I am on the quiet side, as plenty of quiet people are not overlooked to the extent that I am. I don't know what the asnwer is, but I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

I feel this way too.

 

[duff]

Loneliness does often make me feel as though I don't exist properly too. Other people seem so grounded and secure in their identities whereas I feel insubstantial, almost transparent. So I understand how you are feeling. Although nowadays we are told that we have to be happy and secure alone etc I think that we derive a lot of our sense of self from others and if we are not getting this affirmation, then we do feel insubstantial. Like you, I talk and laugh with others, but somehow I am instantly easily overlooked or forgotten, and I wonder like you if there is something wrong with me. I don't think it can be solely down to the fact that I am on the quiet side, as plenty of quiet people are not overlooked to the extent that I am. I don't know what the asnwer is, but I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

the trick is to not let it bother you when you get overlooked or forgotten. Trust me, I felt like you do. For years as well. In the last 5 years or so I have changed. I don't particular want people to get in touch. I have no interest in making new friends. I'm bothered about me and then my family. People are two faced, they let me down. I keep people at a arms length. When I am forced to interact with people, either at work or at the golf course, I am friendly, polite and talkative. But then I tend to forget about these people because I am sure they do the same to me.

Some people are just not welcomed by others. They don't mix, work well with others. They don't fit in.

We have so much more these days to keep ourselves busy anyway - The internet, Sky TV, kindle's, dvd's - Before the internet ! That's when I was lonely. I couldn't share how I felt, couldn't read about similar people. I thought it was just me who couldn't get a girl. I honestly never feel lonely. There is simply too much to do ! I feel lonely of female company of course and that's why I'm probably still here !

 

[Peaches]

Loneliness does often make me feel as though I don't exist properly too. Other people seem so grounded and secure in their identities whereas I feel insubstantial, almost transparent. So I understand how you are feeling. Although nowadays we are told that we have to be happy and secure alone etc I think that we derive a lot of our sense of self from others and if we are not getting this affirmation, then we do feel insubstantial. Like you, I talk and laugh with others, but somehow I am instantly easily overlooked or forgotten, and I wonder like you if there is something wrong with me. I don't think it can be solely down to the fact that I am on the quiet side, as plenty of quiet people are not overlooked to the extent that I am. I don't know what the asnwer is, but I want you to know that you are not alone in feeling the way you do.

I feel this way too.

me too...

 

[Ste_lla]

You just described how I feel sometimes.

It's almost like I'm a Ghost.

 

[nerdygirl]

You know, 24 is actually kind of young for getting married and having kids. I know it's frustrating when it feels like everybody is doing it but you, but hey- this isn't the latest fad. It's a life altering decision. So if most of the people around you are rushing into those sorts of commitments, don't envy them. In ten years, at least half of them will wish they'd waited.

There are multiple threads here about the lack of social opportunities due to not drinking alcohol. The fact that people are around to say that is proof that there are plenty of folks who aren't drinking. You just have to figure out which crowd that is. If you don't mind being around people who drink, then tag along. If it seems awkward, then get something and only sip at it. Anybody who bothers to keep track of how much (or little) you're drinking is obviously bored stiff, themselves.

If you feel that people aren't drawn to you because you sit listlessly and stare at the wall, change that! There is nothing healthy about doing nothing, having no interests, etc. Try things until you find a hobby- something that can be shared with at least one other person. For example, drawing is great, but it's tricky to do that as a group. Once you have one, pursue it. When people see that you're having a good time, they'll be interested, too. You could also attend a meetup- or organize one.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

24 is young. I'm 30, and haven't even had so much as a first kiss.

The way I see it, if I don't have the same opportunities as everyone else, I can't blame anybody, including myself. I have had things happen, and can do things that nobody else can do, so the fact that I haven't dated or don't have many friends doesn't matter.

 

[living in the moment]

Hey, lonely people. I'm here because my internet friends, who used to be as sad and lonely as me, are not that way anymore, and it's driving me to a very dark and isolated place. Probably with a chainsaw in its trunk.

I thought I was a friendless loser in high school, but then I graduated and realized I had it pretty good. Five years later, I have one (~real life~) friend. I spent my last 7 birthdays crying, without a party as an excuse, because I was alone. Well, except for the friend I've been attached to at the hip for those 7 years: Major Depression.

I've never been romantic or sexual with anyone, either. Never been on a date. Never even held hands, and I can count on one hand the number of people who have expressed interest in me - none of them flattering. I'm almost 24 years old; people all around me are getting engaged, married, starting to have children ... and at this pace, I'm afraid I might have to get married after my first date if I don't want to die alone! All I want is to feel connected to someone. To hold hands. :/

People don't talk to me. They don't seek me out, and when I initiate contact, I'm ignored or forgotten. There must be something so deeply wrong with me that other people can sense it and are instinctively repulsed, no matter how enthusiastically I chat and laugh and smile. They just ... know. Somehow, they know.

Yet I can't blame the bright, lively people around me for not seeing anything worthy in me. They move and change and live ... and I don't. I do nothing. I have no charisma, no talents, no achievements, no goals or dreams or connections. Hell, I don't even drink alcohol, which, to my endless RAGE, has made being social a source of nothing but anxiety that was never there before I turned 21. I don't know anyone my age who does anything without the involvement of alcohol, not even going to a **** movie. Bam, I'm instantly awkward and excluded and boring. Not that I have a problem with drunk people - I've actually realized that drunk people are easier to get along with than sober ones, which was ... startling. I know I'm kind of weird and silly, but people can't understand me until they're actually DRUNK?? Whatever, it's better than nothing.

The feeling that has always been there ... the feeling that I don't really exist, that I'm not quite real, that I'm not wholly alive ... keeps intensifying. It hurts so much that I have the actual, physical urge to reach into my abdomen and tear my guts out with my bare hands.

I'm a lonely one, too. It's nice to meet you.

..................................................................................................You don't know how blessed you are.
Just go through the pain and one day the right person will come along. Don't settle for less.
You are not caught up with the wrong crowd that drinks and drugs so count your blessings that not caught up in that hell that looks like fun, yet destroys the souls of the people that are so lost.
go to fhu.com, there is a tape that will help you to find the right path for you. You will become aware and less stressed and able to cope.
Take care and I hope you go to the FHU.COM
When I was young I could have saved myself a lot of mistakes and grief. I was thankful I found it many years ago and thank God for it.

Louise

 

[UGLYDUCKLING]

Hand in there dudet...First let tell you that you're awesome...I'm not throwing it out like that but I kind of mean it..Loneliness gets to the best of us...I've barely had any friends online or offline and neither of them don't seem to like me..Trust me...I am just weird...Not in a creepy way thou..It's just people..I've barely had any hang outs...I ran into a class mate at the mall so I sort of imagined it as a hang out xD Yea pathetic I know..24? really? I don't think you should be getting married..I guess it's the time you should focus on your career,move ahead be your own person! If you're awkward,try being more confident..Social life IMO sometimes holds us back from any goals we would like to meet specially when it comes to making money or our careers.Just use that to your advantage...Later in life,there is no doubt that you won't make any friends...Just try to smile when you get out and look like a kind of a person who's easy to talk to...Just act like it and you will be one! ^_^