lonelyboy291
Member
So, Im 20 years old now, ive never had a girlfriend, but ive always wanted one, i think about being with a girl all the time, i feel like its all ive thought about my whole life. Im indian, and white girls seem like complete angels to me, but whenever I catch the eye of agirl I like or think is pretty, when she looks at me I feel like a total alien, like im a different species. I get so nervous around girls I can hardly move, and am so self-conscious, my mind goes totally blank and I just want to get away, its completely overwhelming. So.. ive never had a real conversation with a girl in my whole life, maybe just a few on omegle at those times when I felt like killing myself and theres no where else for me to turn. Im not a bad person, and I think im kind and caring, but I feel like my love is worthless, like if i told a girl i liked her she would just wish id never spoken to her. Ive been crying into my pillow at night these past few days, and all I can think about is suicide. I attempted in february last year, and since then ive just tried to stay away from society and girls, so I wouldnt feel jealous when I see couples together, or feel depressed when I come close to girls and realise how unconfident I am. but its killing me know, I feel like I did back then, I just want to hang myself. I dont understand why some people find it so easy, and I feel like a completely alienated from girls. I only feel at peace when im crying,
It hurts so much when I think about other guys who have had a gf their whole life, and sex all the time. it hurts to see other people kissing, ive tried going out clubbing alone to try and find a girl, but I feel like I dont exist when im around everyone else with so much confidence
It hurts that ive wanted love for my whole life, and ive never got it, like its some sick joke by god. Ive tried messaging people on fb and dating sites, but no one has replied, I thought some would but no , I dont know what else to say here... I just wanted to try and be totally honest with how i feel, maybe it will help
It hurts so much when I think about other guys who have had a gf their whole life, and sex all the time. it hurts to see other people kissing, ive tried going out clubbing alone to try and find a girl, but I feel like I dont exist when im around everyone else with so much confidence
It hurts that ive wanted love for my whole life, and ive never got it, like its some sick joke by god. Ive tried messaging people on fb and dating sites, but no one has replied, I thought some would but no , I dont know what else to say here... I just wanted to try and be totally honest with how i feel, maybe it will help