I had that problem for awhile. A long string of friendships and relationships with people who degraded me, betrayed my privacy and my trust, picked at my weaknesses, and yet somehow put all the blame on me made me believe I was a violent, uncontrollable monster on the inside who liked disgusting things and had disgusting feelings. Something distinctly undesirable that needed to be locked up inside the relatively normal exterior where it couldn't hurt anyone and nobody could hurt the little fraction of it that was my consciousness cowering in the far corner.
I think the solution is to see with your own eyes people who see you and do not treat you as a monster or as subhuman, but considering that the problem in the first place is fear of allowing anyone that glimpse it's easier said than done. For me, at first, it was simply because I was breaking down emotionally and anyone who saw me could see that pain. I hid, but one or two people saw me and helped to correct the damage over the course of a few painful years of me exposing myself and receiving positive reactions instead of the horror and blame I expected.
It's a sickness. And whether you caught it or created it yourself recognize that's what it is and that it's cloaking the rest of you to yourself, all of that human being behind a veil of monster.
