ThinkPositive
Well-known member
I feel like this is an AA meeting or something, haha. (Not that I've ever been to one.) "Hi, my name is _____ and I'm a lonely person."
I'm female, American, in my mid-20s.
I never had trouble making friends when I was growing up -- I even had some serious mental health issues as a teen, and even then I had the fortune of having good, close, supportive friends who I don't know what I would have done without.
But ever since graduating from college 5 years ago and moving to a new city, it's been very difficult! At first I tried to be patient and tell myself it's because I'm in a new place, but it's been a long time. I eventually became cynical, and realized that the adult friendship world is different...people are just too preoccupied with their own lives. I did my best, taking the initiative, inviting people out, calling people, and being rejected repeatedly...not anything dramatic, but more of a passive disregard thing, like "Oh! Busy this week, maybe later!" (and they never get back to you even after I try to follow up), "Gee, I'm pretty tired," or even: "I forgot."
So I've given up. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit at home all day playing games. I have a nice, stable boyfriend. I love to go out and do stuff, explore, discover new things. I'm a runner and I'm in good shape. I play a couple instruments. I go to events. I volunteer. I have a ton of acquaintances from a bunch of activities. I'm not the life of the party or anything by far, but I get along with people easily and I like to make people laugh. I've learned to keep busy enough to not have to worry about not having close friends nearby.
But here's my current situation: I'm unemployed right now, and my boyfriend is gone for the summer. The first couple months of not working I was really enjoying the rest and free time, but that's worn off now. A lot of the old resentments (see 2 paragraphs ago) have crept back into my mind. I feel like I'm going crazy from all the time I have to myself, and the lack of social contact. I'm doing my best to keep busy by doing *something* every day, but an entire day is long when you're not working!
I'm trying to remind myself that this is temporary; I'm going to HAVE to find a new job (my wallet demands it too) and my boyfriend is going to be back. I know I'm fortunate to even have a boyfriend to miss. I'm trying to make the most of being alone, and I hope we can help each other here!
Wow, sorry about the length! (Is anyone going to read all that??)
I'm female, American, in my mid-20s.
I never had trouble making friends when I was growing up -- I even had some serious mental health issues as a teen, and even then I had the fortune of having good, close, supportive friends who I don't know what I would have done without.
But ever since graduating from college 5 years ago and moving to a new city, it's been very difficult! At first I tried to be patient and tell myself it's because I'm in a new place, but it's been a long time. I eventually became cynical, and realized that the adult friendship world is different...people are just too preoccupied with their own lives. I did my best, taking the initiative, inviting people out, calling people, and being rejected repeatedly...not anything dramatic, but more of a passive disregard thing, like "Oh! Busy this week, maybe later!" (and they never get back to you even after I try to follow up), "Gee, I'm pretty tired," or even: "I forgot."
So I've given up. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit at home all day playing games. I have a nice, stable boyfriend. I love to go out and do stuff, explore, discover new things. I'm a runner and I'm in good shape. I play a couple instruments. I go to events. I volunteer. I have a ton of acquaintances from a bunch of activities. I'm not the life of the party or anything by far, but I get along with people easily and I like to make people laugh. I've learned to keep busy enough to not have to worry about not having close friends nearby.
But here's my current situation: I'm unemployed right now, and my boyfriend is gone for the summer. The first couple months of not working I was really enjoying the rest and free time, but that's worn off now. A lot of the old resentments (see 2 paragraphs ago) have crept back into my mind. I feel like I'm going crazy from all the time I have to myself, and the lack of social contact. I'm doing my best to keep busy by doing *something* every day, but an entire day is long when you're not working!
I'm trying to remind myself that this is temporary; I'm going to HAVE to find a new job (my wallet demands it too) and my boyfriend is going to be back. I know I'm fortunate to even have a boyfriend to miss. I'm trying to make the most of being alone, and I hope we can help each other here!
Wow, sorry about the length! (Is anyone going to read all that??)
