S
SophiaGrace
Guest
I have been thinking about this for a while. A few people have pointed out some issues that I have. That I am dependent, and that I am kind of negative.
It's left me wondering if there are people in the world who would love me and like me despite these things. I've never been an emotionally independent sort of person, nor do I feel my depression is something that will change overnight.
Is it unreasonable to want to be loved for who you are instead of trying to change for an ideal that most people seem to want, but that you are unable to attain?
I remember trying to talk to a counselor a while ago about this, trying to tell her that there really wasn't anything else to me other than my depression…she didn't seem to understand. Instead, she seemed to say that it was my fault and that i perservered about it. It really doesn't feel that way to me, because everytime I try to not talk about it or not think about it it feels as if I am pushing something underwater that wishes to come back up. Like, something filled with air that requires a lot of strength to keep pressed under water. It's exhausting and this is what people want me to do.
I just want to be myself. I don't want to make others unhappy, that's not my goal. I don't want to see others unhappy or create unhappiness. That doesn't bring me joy or satisfaction.
I do tend to gravitate towards people who are depressed, but it seems to be a certain type of person. Someone who doesn't make me feel drained, but yet is able to understand where I am coming from, if that makes sense.
As for being dependent, well, perhaps that's another post.
My question is, is it unreasonable of me to want unconditional love? Even if I never get better? Even if it perserveres? I just want to be loved for all of me. Is that wrong?
It's left me wondering if there are people in the world who would love me and like me despite these things. I've never been an emotionally independent sort of person, nor do I feel my depression is something that will change overnight.
Is it unreasonable to want to be loved for who you are instead of trying to change for an ideal that most people seem to want, but that you are unable to attain?
I remember trying to talk to a counselor a while ago about this, trying to tell her that there really wasn't anything else to me other than my depression…she didn't seem to understand. Instead, she seemed to say that it was my fault and that i perservered about it. It really doesn't feel that way to me, because everytime I try to not talk about it or not think about it it feels as if I am pushing something underwater that wishes to come back up. Like, something filled with air that requires a lot of strength to keep pressed under water. It's exhausting and this is what people want me to do.
I just want to be myself. I don't want to make others unhappy, that's not my goal. I don't want to see others unhappy or create unhappiness. That doesn't bring me joy or satisfaction.
I do tend to gravitate towards people who are depressed, but it seems to be a certain type of person. Someone who doesn't make me feel drained, but yet is able to understand where I am coming from, if that makes sense.
As for being dependent, well, perhaps that's another post.
My question is, is it unreasonable of me to want unconditional love? Even if I never get better? Even if it perserveres? I just want to be loved for all of me. Is that wrong?
