Eliraven
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 17, 2015
- Messages
- 249
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I'm going to talk about my case and perspective.
Ever since I was little I didn't like to socialize or be around people way too long, yet I'm a person that can get along with almost everybody. I'm still in contact with old friends, have made some new ones but the amount of friends I can count them with my fingers, is not a lot. But the thing is, my old friends and I maybe talk once or twice a year and every time they said about going out I either make up an excuse change the subject or stop talking . I mean i want to see them and I will love to go out with them, but then I automatically reject the idea. Same thing we new friends and people in general. Is like I feel trapped if I spend too much time going out and socializing with people, my body starts demanding to have alone time. Is like I'm addicted to it. There is so much socializing I can take before I become too bored, too exhausted and I want to be by myself. All of this happens with my family as well. My family is very socializing and they keep in touch with everybody, except me. I'm very different from my family. I might talk to them on birthdays or if I go to their houses or if they come to mine, and the conversations are very superficial. The friends I have are very much like me and I feel I can share with them anything, yet is still not enough for me to interact with them every once in a while. I don't consider myself a lonely person, i just LOVE being alone.
But yet they are slightly very very few moments where I feel alone, and I want to have someone that understands me and that I can share my loneliness with. I don't know if this doesn't make sense. Like we don't have to talk or do the same thing. Just feel like there is a presence next to me.
Is very hard dealing with family, they really don't understand me and don't do the effort to do so, maybe cause I'm so close. But then the few times I have open myself is like if I'm talking in Chinese. We don't see life the same way, we don't have the same onions, share nothing in common, etc. And is mentally draining faking to understand them and be part of them. I have tried too many times already.
But then I wonder, yes I'm still young and I'm very independent myself, but I'm afraid the way I am will turn people away. For example, if one day I'm old or I get sick and will be unable to do things on my own I feel like I will have no family or friends that will sympathize enough to be with me, cause again relationships are created by sharing, socializing, helping one another, talking, spending time together. But I feel like my family doesn't love in the sense that we have a relationship both ways, is more like I'm the cousin, sister, nephew , etc. And my friends keep with me because they are somewhat like me.
People said Im too young and I still have a lot of time left and I could do something about it. But, is so hard to control the feeling of wanting to be alone (not lonely) all the time. My family is too superficial and my friends they have partners, kids and other friends.
I sometimes feel like I'm sabotaging myself all the time, and I should fight more to establish a relationship, but even sometimes when I do people don't take me that serious cause I'm not like that.
Sometimes, this lead me to believe the wanting for being alone is a choice of me and I got accustomed to it.Any suggestions? How have you tried to overcome loneliness.
I'm afraid I will be alone in my worst moments, and I will have no one genuine being next to me.
Ever since I was little I didn't like to socialize or be around people way too long, yet I'm a person that can get along with almost everybody. I'm still in contact with old friends, have made some new ones but the amount of friends I can count them with my fingers, is not a lot. But the thing is, my old friends and I maybe talk once or twice a year and every time they said about going out I either make up an excuse change the subject or stop talking . I mean i want to see them and I will love to go out with them, but then I automatically reject the idea. Same thing we new friends and people in general. Is like I feel trapped if I spend too much time going out and socializing with people, my body starts demanding to have alone time. Is like I'm addicted to it. There is so much socializing I can take before I become too bored, too exhausted and I want to be by myself. All of this happens with my family as well. My family is very socializing and they keep in touch with everybody, except me. I'm very different from my family. I might talk to them on birthdays or if I go to their houses or if they come to mine, and the conversations are very superficial. The friends I have are very much like me and I feel I can share with them anything, yet is still not enough for me to interact with them every once in a while. I don't consider myself a lonely person, i just LOVE being alone.
But yet they are slightly very very few moments where I feel alone, and I want to have someone that understands me and that I can share my loneliness with. I don't know if this doesn't make sense. Like we don't have to talk or do the same thing. Just feel like there is a presence next to me.
Is very hard dealing with family, they really don't understand me and don't do the effort to do so, maybe cause I'm so close. But then the few times I have open myself is like if I'm talking in Chinese. We don't see life the same way, we don't have the same onions, share nothing in common, etc. And is mentally draining faking to understand them and be part of them. I have tried too many times already.
But then I wonder, yes I'm still young and I'm very independent myself, but I'm afraid the way I am will turn people away. For example, if one day I'm old or I get sick and will be unable to do things on my own I feel like I will have no family or friends that will sympathize enough to be with me, cause again relationships are created by sharing, socializing, helping one another, talking, spending time together. But I feel like my family doesn't love in the sense that we have a relationship both ways, is more like I'm the cousin, sister, nephew , etc. And my friends keep with me because they are somewhat like me.
People said Im too young and I still have a lot of time left and I could do something about it. But, is so hard to control the feeling of wanting to be alone (not lonely) all the time. My family is too superficial and my friends they have partners, kids and other friends.
I sometimes feel like I'm sabotaging myself all the time, and I should fight more to establish a relationship, but even sometimes when I do people don't take me that serious cause I'm not like that.
Sometimes, this lead me to believe the wanting for being alone is a choice of me and I got accustomed to it.Any suggestions? How have you tried to overcome loneliness.
I'm afraid I will be alone in my worst moments, and I will have no one genuine being next to me.