I'm realizing that I live in some weird bubble. Once I leave work, it's as if I don't exist.
I am in a large community service group and I stepped up to run a small project in Feb and also another year long one. Both of these required people to send me e-mails about information. It felt so wonderful to have people contacting me. I loved the attention cause I felt needed. Then I started to look into things and I realized something. If I don't force people to talk to me, I don't exist.
When I take out the e-mails I have gotten this year about the 2 projects, I have had only 1 person contact me. That would be my mom checking in on me twice to see if I was still alive.
I really came upon this thought train the other night. I had laid down to go to sleep and laid there awake for over an hour trying to grasp who it is people talk to all the time on the cell phone either in phone calls or texts. I have never seen a text so I don't know what they are like but I have talked on the phone. But then the only phone calls I get are from sales people. I think I talked on the phone 6-7 times last year and that was me calling someone about something. No one calls me. I get no e-mails. I don't know what texts are like. I'm basically non-existant. If my parents were to die, I would live in complete silence.
I just don't understand who it is people talk to on their cell phones. They are constantly talking or typing. They seem to enjoy it cause they always are laughing about things while talking so someone. Maybe they are talking to themselves. Maybe it's all a lie to make me feel bad. I don't know. I just don't understand how people have other people to talk to. Where do they find them? Do they have to special order them off of Amazon?
Just something that has been baffling me for a few days.
I am in a large community service group and I stepped up to run a small project in Feb and also another year long one. Both of these required people to send me e-mails about information. It felt so wonderful to have people contacting me. I loved the attention cause I felt needed. Then I started to look into things and I realized something. If I don't force people to talk to me, I don't exist.
When I take out the e-mails I have gotten this year about the 2 projects, I have had only 1 person contact me. That would be my mom checking in on me twice to see if I was still alive.
I really came upon this thought train the other night. I had laid down to go to sleep and laid there awake for over an hour trying to grasp who it is people talk to all the time on the cell phone either in phone calls or texts. I have never seen a text so I don't know what they are like but I have talked on the phone. But then the only phone calls I get are from sales people. I think I talked on the phone 6-7 times last year and that was me calling someone about something. No one calls me. I get no e-mails. I don't know what texts are like. I'm basically non-existant. If my parents were to die, I would live in complete silence.
I just don't understand who it is people talk to on their cell phones. They are constantly talking or typing. They seem to enjoy it cause they always are laughing about things while talking so someone. Maybe they are talking to themselves. Maybe it's all a lie to make me feel bad. I don't know. I just don't understand how people have other people to talk to. Where do they find them? Do they have to special order them off of Amazon?
Just something that has been baffling me for a few days.