Loneliness on my mind

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Ghost

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I've become very depressed lately, and I've realized that loneliness is causing it.

I have sleep problems from loneliness. I lay in bed awake for hours, and for a long time I wondered what the problem was. Finally, I have realized, as pathetic as it is, that I really just want a special someone in bed with me. I want someone in my life and friends who really care who I can really relate to.

I get so angry, and it is terrible that I would probably calm down significantly if I had a girlfriend (provided she was decent).

But it seems like, just like the past decade of my life, I'm going to have to just put hope in a better future, but there is no reason to believe the future will get better- not anymore. I might always be this lonely, and I don't know how many more years I can take it. It is making me feel suicidal.

While other people are enjoying their lives, I am not enjoying mine. I find it impossible to enjoy alone.
 
my dad found a really beautiful wife when he was 37. (i'm not sure what relationships he had before, and i definitely don't want to know)
but if he did it, everyone can >_>
lol
don't give up :)
 
Ghost,
I could have written your post myself.
But I've come to believe that our pining over
what we believe we are missing, may be the very
cause of the problem. I hope that we both can get on
with our lives, finding things to take joy in.
Because we all are attracted to happy people,
and not those who are obsessed with what's missing.

I've recently quit alcohol and caffeine
and this has caused the crazed hyperactive chimp
in my head to sleep most of the time now.
(you know, the one who torments you with
"nobody will ever love me, there's something wrong with me,
there's no hope, I'll be better off dead" etc.....)

Remember, anyone who can give you that "special feeling"
that you long for, can also take it away.
We need to be happy in ourselves. (Me too)
 
I cannot contemplate finding a wife at 37. It would be so miserable to wait that long.

@only me, are you saying that I should be happy living alone? I hate the idea that idea that everyone should be perfectly content by their lonesome because, if anything, that is not practical. If I were perfectly happy living alone, then I would not need to find anyone.

Asking someone to be happy by oneself is like asking a starving person not to be hungry without eating.

Others just want to see all lonely people medicated; people want to see me medicated; this is because they don't actually care whether or not I find anyone. There is nothing wrong with me for feeling lonely; I just can't find the right people.

 
Ghost said:
@only me, are you saying that I should be happy living alone?

Ghost,
What I'm saying is that life is short.
Wallowing in our misery doesn't bring someone to us.
And I think that happy people have better luck attracting a mate.
So do things you enjoy, get out more, and make a real effort to notice and appreciate every good thing in your life.

For way too many years I chanted the mantra (figuratively)
"I'll never find anybody"
"I'll never find anybody"
"I'll never find anybody"
And all it did was make me miserable.
I drank too much, ate too much, and other things too much.
I still don't have anybody, but I'm learning not to torture myself anymore.
And that has been such a relief.

And I'm just suggesting that you do the same.
 
It is good advice not to beat yourself up over it. I know I have quite a bit in the past, though now I see my loneliness more as a result of poor circumstance than as a result of poor choices that I made.

I feel like society is infected with loneliness, and maybe there is no cure.
 

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