Mom Makes Rude Comments

[Lilith]

My mom doesn't like the way I dress, I'm sure; she hates when I dress prettily. It was hot today and I didn't want to wear shorts so I wore a dress instead as I feel it's way more comfortable. She looked at me with contempt and said "'Isn't it more comfortable wearing pants?" Then after that weird comment she walked past my room and remarked "****, your curtains are disgusting" (the curtains are sorta blinding during the day).

She often checks me out as well. She often gives me a mean stare, checking me out from head to toe what I wear. I find it very disgusting. It's so obnoxious of her whenever she does that.

Everyone else (who's not my so-called parent) likes the way I dress, though. It's very normal; I guess my mom doesn't like it when I dress 'prettily'.

Why would she do this?

You can ask me any question ya want, I'll answer if it helps with your answers.

I honestly don't know what to think. I've only realized she's just full of it. *le sighs*

 

[9006]

Perhaps she envies you in some way.

 

[Lilith]

Perhaps she envies you in some way.

That's what I've been thinking and that doesn't show that she loves me.

 

[9006]

That's what I've been thinking and that doesn't show that she loves me.

Things like envy, anger, jealousy etc, clouds how people really feel. If it's something that's severe or gets worse try confronting her.

 

[ladyforsaken]

She probably loves you.. but in a different twisted way. And like what 9006 said, she probably envies you too. I know that it can happen because I've seen it happen.. as I interact with parents a lot with regards to their children (in my job).

It's really difficult though to change people.. especially parents, in my experience. Have you ever tried talking to her about it? It's either that, and you try to discuss and work things out.. or you'll just have to learn to numb yourself from her remarks and comments and take it as rubbish because you do what you feel suits you and as long as it is not negative or offends others, it should be fine.

Ever thought of moving out though?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Really don't have anything to add that 9006 and LadyF haven't already mentioned. Was her mother like that to her? Could just be the way she was raised. I know my grandmother was never very affectionate, my mom tried to show more love by saying I love you and giving a kiss goodnight but that was about it. She really never knew how to show affection since she grew up with a lack of it.

 

[Edward W]

Yeah, I would have to agree. You are young and pretty with your whole life ahead of you, so she could very well be jealous of that, even though she may also love you.

 

[EveWasFramed]

err...I guess it's the parent coming out in me but....

Maybe she thinks (in her opinion of course) that you aren't dressing "appropriately?" NOT saying you aren't, just wondering if it's a difference in opinion on what's acceptable and what isn't maybe?
Still though...the way she approaches it seems to be a bit overkill.

 

[Felix]

Sounds like she's jelly. There is nothing wrong with wearing dresses, I acually really like that.

 

[*Sammy*]

Not a parent so just my opinion form whats been said, i agree with the rest sounds like she is jealous... i know parents a lot of the time don't agree with the styles of their children but **** she sounds like shes being very mean about it and as your mother i would think she would try and be more supportive not nasty about it :s

 

[EveWasFramed]

Im still not sure why several people have come to the conclusion that her mother is jealous of her.
Im sure they may be a few parents who might have some kind of mental issues that might provoke that kind of view, but in general, it's not typically something you see IMO.

 

[Lilith]

Thanks guys, for your opinions on this matter. I know she loves me, and I know she can be mean.

Another example: At a big family gathering, an aunt commented that I was beautiful. My mom was right there, shook her head in disagreement w/ a scornful look and said "she's too skinny." Aunt replied "what? it's good to be skinny, I've been wanting to become skinny", and my mom just stopped talking with an angry, unhappy look on her face. :/ Also I don't think I'm skinny; I am healthy. I know I am. -_-"

I wonder if I'd..... break her shell if I confronted her about this. I'm thinking she'd either get really emotional and cry or get even more defensive and explode at me and call me 'stupid'. She's the type of person who would rather lie than tell the cold truth.

I honestly don't care about the rude things she says to & about me. Her problem, not mine. It's true that no one else can change a person except for himself/herself. Also the only people whose opinions I actually value are ones whom I respect a lot. Ultimately what I think about myself is probably the most important.

It's easy to tell who's mind is healthy and whose isn't.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

She's probably jealous that you wear the dress better than her.

 

[Sarah_Lbnz]

Whenever my mother bought me clothes they were very bulky, shapeless, "comfortable" and nothing that complemented my slender frame. When I was living with my parents I had to hide clothes I bought as my mother threw out whatever she thought was "not suitable". I would understand if they were revealing, but they weren't. In her own way, I think she was trying to protect me from my father, who was very inappropriate towards me, even now I have to tell him to shut up and stop being creepy. I'm at my ideal weight , but even as an adult when she saw me wearing a bikini she said, "are you sure you feel comfortable in that?" When she buys me clothes as presents its like she's buying them for a mennonite vacationing in miami: frumpy with sequins.

Our mamas have control issues, just a little bit.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Our mamas have control issues, just a little bit.

^^ This is/can be pretty typical, as well as understandable.
But for those suggesting jealousy, I still haven't seen anything to substantiate such an opinion really.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Our mamas have control issues, just a little bit.

You know, now that you mention this, it's something I think we tend to overlook - how parents are just controlling. I think it's universal, whichever situation, parents who care, control. I think it's a normal basic human instinct. Well generally, of course there are exceptions.

I foresee myself tending to be like one if I ever have a kid. I think the key is to have a balance.. control in certain vital things.

 

[xaero]

Has she always treated you this way?

 

[lonelyfairy]

I know how you feel, at least in some way... My step mom was always like that. It's disgusting how some people can treat someone like that.

 

[Broken_Doll]

I have nothing to add to this really, but most of the time if I get "compliments" from my older sister then they are very back-handed, examples:
* "I wish I could be as confident as you and dress like that."
* This post:
* "You look better with no make up on"

The way I usually respond to honeysuckle like that is with a huge grin and like they really meant it as a compliment, then I skip away smiling to myself, I find that pisses people off.