My messed up world...

[thelonegamer]

I'm sad. I can't find anywhere or anyone to comfort me. My world is one big mess and I just can't figure out why. Worst than that is going through it alone. I even thought like perhaps the storm will go away and the sun will shine again. But there's no light at the end of the tunnel. All I wanted was for someone, anyone, to acknowledge my situation, me, my world, so I wouldn't feel so alone fighting the world just by myself. I feel like honeysuckle. Like, I'm always daydreaming on how when I grow up and have my own place I would be happy. But there are times reality just gives you a punch right at your nose. I'm always saying how tired I am that people don't care about me yet here I am saying it again. I'm hopeless. Hope's the last to fade but this time it's unique, it's different. There's just no possible way to have hope everything will be alright. That's all I wanted. For smeone to tell me that. To tell me how my world is cracking but that he'd/she'd stand by me. I used to have people like that. Not anymore. Nor ever. I can't ask someone to care. I mean, I can but it won't feel that good. It won't feel good at all. I have this dream where I am promoting events and honeysuckle, then I realise how honeysuckle I am when I see on what would be equivalent to Times Square an ad on a big tv at the street, picturing all my friends on how they are organising the greatest party so far on June 21st. I just stood there, hopeless, seeing all my dreams shattered, turned to ashes. I practically crawled home. I have no friends, no social skills, no stuff to show up like clothes, devices or vehicles, but every single person I know possesses at least one of those. And, I'm sorry but, that makes one feel like honeysuckle. Perhaps because one is indeed honeysuckle. Everything I know has turned their back on me and I'm tired of trying to run over it to unback their backs at me.
I guess I'm one of those people whose life at highschol is honeysuckle and when they grow up they get a sick job like parasites and have a boring life and then decides to make an adventure which goes wrong and end up in jail or dead.
One thing is for sure. Whenever I get out of here, I will never ever try to get friends or have someone to love and care about. Like never again. That I'm sure. I may be hurt now but when it goes away, I'll just lock my heart in a safe then throw it in the sea or space.
Now I'll just plug in my earphones and carry on the burden!

 

[Triple Bogey]

I'm sad. I can't find anywhere or anyone to comfort me. My world is one big mess and I just can't figure out why. Worst than that is going through it alone. I even thought like perhaps the storm will go away and the sun will shine again. But there's no light at the end of the tunnel. All I wanted was for someone, anyone, to acknowledge my situation, me, my world, so I wouldn't feel so alone fighting the world just by myself. I feel like honeysuckle. Like, I'm always daydreaming on how when I grow up and have my own place I would be happy. But there are times reality just gives you a punch right at your nose. I'm always saying how tired I am that people don't care about me yet here I am saying it again. I'm hopeless. Hope's the last to fade but this time it's unique, it's different. There's just no possible way to have hope everything will be alright. That's all I wanted. For smeone to tell me that. To tell me how my world is cracking but that he'd/she'd stand by me. I used to have people like that. Not anymore. Nor ever. I can't ask someone to care. I mean, I can but it won't feel that good. It won't feel good at all. I have this dream where I am promoting events and honeysuckle, then I realise how honeysuckle I am when I see on what would be equivalent to Times Square an ad on a big tv at the street, picturing all my friends on how they are organising the greatest party so far on June 21st. I just stood there, hopeless, seeing all my dreams shattered, turned to ashes. I practically crawled home. I have no friends, no social skills, no stuff to show up like clothes, devices or vehicles, but every single person I know possesses at least one of those. And, I'm sorry but, that makes one feel like honeysuckle. Perhaps because one is indeed honeysuckle. Everything I know has turned their back on me and I'm tired of trying to run over it to unback their backs at me.
I guess I'm one of those people whose life at highschol is honeysuckle and when they grow up they get a sick job like parasites and have a boring life and then decides to make an adventure which goes wrong and end up in jail or dead.
One thing is for sure. Whenever I get out of here, I will never ever try to get friends or have someone to love and care about. Like never again. That I'm sure. I may be hurt now but when it goes away, I'll just lock my heart in a safe then throw it in the sea or space.
Now I'll just plug in my earphones and carry on the burden!

I have enjoyed our football chats !

 

[thelonegamer]

Haha me too

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

I´m not the one to tell you that everything will be all right.
But out of piece of my alleged knowledge:
Not everything has to be all right. Lots of things are messed up. Things fresia up. We fresia up. Its kinda the nature of this world and us humans, if we may say it in a light voice.
But lots of people go by and smile from time to time having something small that they like, whether its a person, or a thing. And all that while things around are messed up.

So...My advice, would be something like try to not burden yourself with the grand scheme of things. Those are more often then not out of our reach. But try to find things that make you happy temporary, for a moment, as big things to make one non-stop happy (having a place to be, great job etc..) are not guaranteed.

I know this may be a bit of a shitty advice, and if it aint helping, I´m sorry for wasting your time. Regardless, I hope for you to change perspective, and be happy

 

[reloadlife23]

I'm sad. I can't find anywhere or anyone to comfort me. My world is one big mess and I just can't figure out why. Worst than that is going through it alone. I even thought like perhaps the storm will go away and the sun will shine again. But there's no light at the end of the tunnel. All I wanted was for someone, anyone, to acknowledge my situation, me, my world, so I wouldn't feel so alone fighting the world just by myself. I feel like honeysuckle. Like, I'm always daydreaming on how when I grow up and have my own place I would be happy. But there are times reality just gives you a punch right at your nose. I'm always saying how tired I am that people don't care about me yet here I am saying it again. I'm hopeless. Hope's the last to fade but this time it's unique, it's different. There's just no possible way to have hope everything will be alright. That's all I wanted. For smeone to tell me that. To tell me how my world is cracking but that he'd/she'd stand by me. I used to have people like that. Not anymore. Nor ever. I can't ask someone to care. I mean, I can but it won't feel that good. It won't feel good at all. I have this dream where I am promoting events and honeysuckle, then I realise how honeysuckle I am when I see on what would be equivalent to Times Square an ad on a big tv at the street, picturing all my friends on how they are organising the greatest party so far on June 21st. I just stood there, hopeless, seeing all my dreams shattered, turned to ashes. I practically crawled home. I have no friends, no social skills, no stuff to show up like clothes, devices or vehicles, but every single person I know possesses at least one of those. And, I'm sorry but, that makes one feel like honeysuckle. Perhaps because one is indeed honeysuckle. Everything I know has turned their back on me and I'm tired of trying to run over it to unback their backs at me.
I guess I'm one of those people whose life at highschol is honeysuckle and when they grow up they get a sick job like parasites and have a boring life and then decides to make an adventure which goes wrong and end up in jail or dead.
One thing is for sure. Whenever I get out of here, I will never ever try to get friends or have someone to love and care about. Like never again. That I'm sure. I may be hurt now but when it goes away, I'll just lock my heart in a safe then throw it in the sea or space.
Now I'll just plug in my earphones and carry on the burden!

Want to feel better about yourself?
get out, go to a food kitchen to help feed people without homes, who sleep on the street, who have no families and who are sick.
Fill your time helping people who can't help themselves and you will never complain again.
I hope you take this advice. it works.

 

[Rosewood]

reloadlife23 is so right. My mental health clients give me the most hope. To see people who are often poor, homeless, judged, abandoned, and mistreated form a support community taught me so much. I have always given my time to others. Church, school, library and more. This is who I am. If they can do it so can I.
At 18 my first husband walked out. I had no car, job, drivers license or money.He left me alone with two little girls. I couldn't quit. I had dark struggles. I see now how much more I had to grow. Sure I was responsible and mature, but young. Count your youth as a blessing.Anything is possible.

 

[thelonegamer]

I´m not the one to tell you that everything will be all right.
But out of piece of my alleged knowledge:
Not everything has to be all right. Lots of things are messed up. Things fresia up. We fresia up. Its kinda the nature of this world and us humans, if we may say it in a light voice.
But lots of people go by and smile from time to time having something small that they like, whether its a person, or a thing. And all that while things around are messed up.

So...My advice, would be something like try to not burden yourself with the grand scheme of things. Those are more often then not out of our reach. But try to find things that make you happy temporary, for a moment, as big things to make one non-stop happy (having a place to be, great job etc..) are not guaranteed.

I know this may be a bit of a shitty advice, and if it aint helping, I´m sorry for wasting your time. Regardless, I hope for you to change perspective, and be happy

It does help and it's not a shitty advice. I must learn from every single piece of advice, I believe there's a lesson behind every action/advice.
I know that and I do have a few things that makes me quite happy and I forget about those negative stuff, like musiic and football, they distract me a lot and I find myself chatting with people across the world about music and football and it helps a lot but it won't change it effectively, I'll still wake up here. I will be completely free and positive when I get out of where I'm at. For now, Trance music and La Liga, Premier League, Champions League and World Cup are my saviors! : /

---

The first thing I will do with my first paycheck will be just that: either donate it to charity or just give it to homeless people. They need it more than I do. I know that and it kills me that I can do nothing about it. If I were as rich as all those superstars I wouldn't be purchasing hotels and restaurants. I would be building schools and hospitals and give medical care to as many children in Africa or elsewhere where it's needed as my money could afford. We came into this world with nothing and with nothing we wil leave it. Money ain't a thang!