My mind is confused.

[Magpieorpigeon]

I need to start living.

 

[Sarpirus]

I recently had a project where I forced myself to find at least one band that I liked from a genre of music that I hate. I know this isn't direct in regards to what you've posted, but I think it may help. Broadening of interests might help you come up with something that you might qualify as 'living'. If not it may at least be fun!

Either way hope this helps and hugs to you; two or three at least.

Sarpirus