My mother has a problem with me when i leave the house

[lonelydude]

As if things werent bad enough , she always gets into a fit when I have to leave the house. Even when I took a class outside of school to brush up on some of my sciences, everytime she was in the car she would go in a fit, saying that i go there just to meet ppl and hang out and not study when on the contrary i was one of the few ppl there who actually paid attention in class.

Its so difficult to find somebody to hanf around nowadays, every1 has these so-called groups that they take for granted. I dont and i have to suffer as a loner, however i found a few ppl i could do stuff with. It was ok with my mom for 2 days but now she just scolded me for being a doormat. I asked her how i was being one and she couldnt even reply to that .. If i can remember, she always tried to turn me against my friends for the smallest and pettiest of reasons that even today i cannot understand . The worst part is that she has these fits every few days and most of the time, SHE is making fun of me or ridiculing me for anything and everything i do. HEck she even ridiculed me for using online forums! ( i told her i was using one for help with my homework and she thought i needed help, i wonder how shell feel when i tell her i use this one ...)

I dont blame my mother for all the loneliness i have gone through, but her attitude is driving me nuts!!! being alone is one thing, but being alone and mentally unstable...well lets see how that works out for me

 

[Bluey]

Dude, This sucks Your mother seems to have some problems here. I must say you are a lot moor understanding of it then I would be.

It is important to study. Its also important to make friends and spend time with them friends. Its a bit unbeliverble to me that your mother would stand in the way of you doing that. There has to be a reason for this. Dose she maybe think she well lose her son if she lets you go? I mean you well make friends and find other things that dose not involve being at home eventually. You don't say how old you are. would be good to know here I think.

 

[Naleena]

Hi Lonely Dude,
It sounds like your mom is the lonely one. Are you an only child or the only child at home? Could be she is trying to control you in an attempt to keep you near her.

 

[Outlawstarl337]

man im sorry for you man. i sounds like your mom doesnt want to cut the umbilical cord. she just wantts you attached to her side doesnt she? well any ways are your parents devocst?

 

[Porman]

The best thing you can do is tell your mum how you feel and let her know that she cannot treat you like a baby for ever, her little boy has grown up lol. im not sure what its like for you because iv always had understanding parents but im sure she will listen to you if you came straight up with it and make her realise what shes doing.

 

[lonelydude]

Hello,
Thank you for ur replies every1, they meant alot. Yea im the only child and yes my parents are divorced. The strange thing is that sometimes she wants me to go out of the house coz she knows thats good for me. However sometimes she gets very possessive and starts shouting and stuff. After a while she realizes what shes done and appologizes. I know she is very lonely, mostly because her family (my grandmother and uncles and aunts) have been very very unsupportive of her (she didnt do anything wrong, theyre just a bunch of retards) and has remained sick with some gastric disease ever since i was born so she doesnt have any friends and no social life. I really love my mother, shes the reason I am what I am today , and when i think about it I cant even blame her for doing this dcoz shes so **** lonely (almost as much as I am). I got upset this time because its been a year since I have been out of the house , not coz of her , she wanted me to go alot of times, but becoz im not part of any groups or such. For godssake i wanted to see a movie for 2 months and I still havnt. Either every1 has seen it or those who havnt are afraid they will be "kicked out" of their group if they see it with me ...Sucks i know but i dunno what to do. I cant even log onto the allcc coz of how i feel

Thanks again for ur replies, i dunno what id do without you

 

[Steel]

Ok, you really do need to become more independant. That will mean occasionally ignoring the scenes your mom causes... It's all very well to apologise after the fact, but I'm guessing by then she had already got her way. She probably doesn't even realise at the time that she is controlling your life through emotional blackmail, its a knee-jerk reaction to her fear of being alone.

Spend time talking to her, perhaps when you are planning on going out later in the day, or when you get back, but be firm when it comes to leading your own life - its your life after all.

 

[rayousha]

You're a good boy and she is lucky to have you as her son. However, she has a lot of problems (psychological & emotional... I don't mean mental here) and she is transferring her problems to you i.e. isolation.

Clearly she has become dependent on you, you need to find some diversion for her to focus on aside from you.

 

[Yukhi]

lonelydude, our mothers are similar in a way. Mine doesn't like me to go out to spend time with friends either. She would allow me but she'd be a bit reluctant when doing so. My mother also warns me of my classmates or anyone I may know in school that they could be liars or whatever. It's not exactly the parental kind of advice but more paranoid. My mom ridicules me as well at times. She keeps scolding me how I said that Anatomy Lab is hard and she says why I'm the only one complaining and my classmates aren't Well, duh!! She hasn't heard my classmates complain neither has she met them. And she's also saying since I'm from America, I should have an edge in academics uhhh??? yeah. She has even stalked me and accused me of having sexual affairs with 2 of my female classmates.

Why don't you try having a good talk with your mom and explain to her that you're more grown up now and you deserve certain privileges. Your mom isn't helping your loneliness at all. In fact, she's making it worse. How do you expect your feelings to get any better if your mom is keeping you from having a social life. She's also not thinking about your future.

Edit: And I just realized this thread was made 2 years ago LOL!

 

[EveWasFramed]

lmao, I was just about to point out that this thread was 2 years old, but I see that Yukhi already noticed that. Let's hope that Lonelydude has had some success in working things out, but he hasn't logged into the forum in over a year.

 

[rayousha]

Omg... Didn't notice the date cos I was multi-tasking (working & roaming the forum)
Anyways, I do hope he worked it out...

 

[Just_Some_Dude]

update:

his mother killed him and buried him in the cellar just about two years ago today.