Shine
Member
- Joined
- Apr 21, 2010
- Messages
- 13
- Reaction score
- 0
hi people, i'm new here and this is the first time me doing something like this, i'll introduce myself first [being part of the story].
i'm a 21 year old guy who is tall, attractive [even good looking from what i heard], don't drink/smoke/drugs, always present at school, good grades, have a lot of good friends and they seem to like being around me, go out to clubs alot, have a nice family, wear nice/expensive clothes [which i work my a$$ of for] and i even have a nice bmw [worked for it myself]. so up till now it seems pretty nice doenst it?
well here is the other side, i never had a girlfriend [not as a partner or "friend" either] during my entire life. i did kiss with a girl but that was just high school experimenting. i'm still a virgin which i am ok with, i wouldn't share sex with some1 i wouldnt feel for. but because i never had a girl i feel so lonely, sad, down, dark and cold. i noticed that as i get older i find it much harder to talk to girls and keep a conversation going. i feel like i dont have any substance and i really struggle to keep converstions going. most of the time i dont even try and then they say i'm closed/strange [can't blame them for saying, right?]
i figured that some1 like me who has never had a girl must be a horrible person to be around i guess. i feel like it just isn't meant for me to happen because i feel like all the signs are there. sometimes i call my friends and ask them to hang out but they can't because they are already hanging out with girls [like 2day]. i feel such a loser then and so lonely and i have to admit that i sometimes really do cry because all of this. the hard thing about this is is that i get confronted with this every day.
when i am at school that's the worst. but also when i go to the movies with friends, walk through the park i see nice young couples having a good time with eachother. i'm really scared that it will never happen for me and to be honest i don't see it happening. will there really be a girl willing to spend her life by my side? how can she spend her life with some1 who doens't have any substance? i used to think: don't worry it will happen, but from 18 on i noticed that i was different, that it wasn't gonna happen.
in order to "make it happen" you need to make some1 like you, love you, have the conversations it takes to make some1 like you, be better than others. i would really like to experience love, hold some1, tell that person how much i love her, take her to the movies and have dinner with her. but it's not gonna happen and i just can't accept/get over that. it has come to the point that i don't even try it anymore, if they say Hey i'll say hey back if they dont then they dont. i never felt needed [by them], thats a horrible feeling. i feel like i'm here without a purpose.
because i don't have any girlfriends i sometimes lock into 1 from class, and that only hurts more. i guess i create feelings for her since she is the only one girl i talk with but it really hurts to see her having fun with other guys. not because of jealousy but i feel like; why can't i be that guy? i guess they are better then me. i have a hard time appreciating myself and i don't like compliments because of that. i feel like i missed out on what should have been a nice time of my younger years...i will never be able to catch up with that. my first date will be like when? when i'm 26 or anything? **** you must be a big time loser then.
sometimes people [friends,classmates or even my parents] ask me how its going with girls, i then say something like: busy with school and work. while in fact its just killing me all day.
i just wanted to get this off my chest, i'm not looking for pitty, i don't want to make my problem youre guys problems. but if you have read it thanks for taking your time and make sure you appreciate your partner [if you have 1] and tell them how much he/she means to you because having some1 is not obvious...take care.
i'm a 21 year old guy who is tall, attractive [even good looking from what i heard], don't drink/smoke/drugs, always present at school, good grades, have a lot of good friends and they seem to like being around me, go out to clubs alot, have a nice family, wear nice/expensive clothes [which i work my a$$ of for] and i even have a nice bmw [worked for it myself]. so up till now it seems pretty nice doenst it?
well here is the other side, i never had a girlfriend [not as a partner or "friend" either] during my entire life. i did kiss with a girl but that was just high school experimenting. i'm still a virgin which i am ok with, i wouldn't share sex with some1 i wouldnt feel for. but because i never had a girl i feel so lonely, sad, down, dark and cold. i noticed that as i get older i find it much harder to talk to girls and keep a conversation going. i feel like i dont have any substance and i really struggle to keep converstions going. most of the time i dont even try and then they say i'm closed/strange [can't blame them for saying, right?]
i figured that some1 like me who has never had a girl must be a horrible person to be around i guess. i feel like it just isn't meant for me to happen because i feel like all the signs are there. sometimes i call my friends and ask them to hang out but they can't because they are already hanging out with girls [like 2day]. i feel such a loser then and so lonely and i have to admit that i sometimes really do cry because all of this. the hard thing about this is is that i get confronted with this every day.
when i am at school that's the worst. but also when i go to the movies with friends, walk through the park i see nice young couples having a good time with eachother. i'm really scared that it will never happen for me and to be honest i don't see it happening. will there really be a girl willing to spend her life by my side? how can she spend her life with some1 who doens't have any substance? i used to think: don't worry it will happen, but from 18 on i noticed that i was different, that it wasn't gonna happen.
in order to "make it happen" you need to make some1 like you, love you, have the conversations it takes to make some1 like you, be better than others. i would really like to experience love, hold some1, tell that person how much i love her, take her to the movies and have dinner with her. but it's not gonna happen and i just can't accept/get over that. it has come to the point that i don't even try it anymore, if they say Hey i'll say hey back if they dont then they dont. i never felt needed [by them], thats a horrible feeling. i feel like i'm here without a purpose.
because i don't have any girlfriends i sometimes lock into 1 from class, and that only hurts more. i guess i create feelings for her since she is the only one girl i talk with but it really hurts to see her having fun with other guys. not because of jealousy but i feel like; why can't i be that guy? i guess they are better then me. i have a hard time appreciating myself and i don't like compliments because of that. i feel like i missed out on what should have been a nice time of my younger years...i will never be able to catch up with that. my first date will be like when? when i'm 26 or anything? **** you must be a big time loser then.
sometimes people [friends,classmates or even my parents] ask me how its going with girls, i then say something like: busy with school and work. while in fact its just killing me all day.
i just wanted to get this off my chest, i'm not looking for pitty, i don't want to make my problem youre guys problems. but if you have read it thanks for taking your time and make sure you appreciate your partner [if you have 1] and tell them how much he/she means to you because having some1 is not obvious...take care.