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*Sigh*

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Well, I been attending orientation at college for 2 days now of the 6 days. And quite frankly, it sucks balls, a lot. In high school I felt so **** lonely at times and it's so **** depressing. I knew a few people that I would say hi too and occasionally hang out with, but I always tend to cling to them whenever there around. Felt like my own **** independence was drowning away with my already miserable social skills. In high school I would skip lunch and go from 7:30am to 3:00pm just so I don't have to sit in the lunch room and eat my lunch myself.

Luckily, those miserable and lonely years of high school are finally over, right? So far it seems like everything is going to turn out to be the same, shitty. I always imagine college to be a better environment, after hearing all those rants and praises of friends many people have made. But sadly, it doesn't seem true. Being such a lonely ass person for so long in high school, my social skills are out of wack. But I am making the effort of introducing myself to girls and guys in my orientation group. And it seems out of courtesy they introduce themselves too, but afterwords they ******* ignore me. I've made the initiative to say hi to passerbyers, but not one **** person has made the initiative to say hi to me. It makes me feel like I look like a ******* creeper. When I compare my looks to others around me, I would say I am slightly above average, I'm not emo or goth, I dress normally-- t-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes. I do have a scar on the area around my eye which may seem intimidating to some, but I saw a person with half of his front lips missing with more friends than me. And sadly, I have never once been to a party.

I am a commuter student by the way, so I don't have a roomate to make a friend out of. I have 4 more days of this orientation that feels like a path leading to yet another shitty social life. I ate my lunch today, in a table by the window, by myself, reading a book while eating, so I didn't look like a total loser. I don't do drugs or drink, so you can probably imagine loneliness without emotional relieve. I just can't break out of my comfort zone when people around me don't even introduce themselves, and my comfort zone is getting smaller and smaller.

To those of you that read this: Thanks for my reading my vent of a lonely life. If reading this made you feel a bit better, great I guess, although its not my intentions. I wrote this as more of a vent that I can't tell the others around me. I am going to join a few clubs and see what happens, hoping for at least a few friends. And please feel free to reply, it would be nice to know I am not alone. Anyone experience the same college experience? Did it get any better?
 
Well, you're not alone when it comes to being lonely. I went to college for a couple months. During that time not one person introduced themselves to me, but I didn't speak to anyone either. It was pretty miserable until finally I withdrew from college. I don't think I could go back. I want to just so I can get the tools I need to have a successful career, but it's daunting.

I think you're on the right track though by saying hi to people.
 
Jesse said:
Well, you're not alone when it comes to being lonely. I went to college for a couple months. During that time not one person introduced themselves to me, but I didn't speak to anyone either. It was pretty miserable until finally I withdrew from college. I don't think I could go back. I want to just so I can get the tools I need to have a successful career, but it's daunting.

I think you're on the right track though by saying hi to people.

I'm asian, so after years of committing to achieving good grades I can't find myself not finishing college. Studying and studying is probably the only thing that keeps my loneliness at bay while I'm in at school.
 
Well college takes a while so I imagine that eventually you'll get a good circle of friends. Maybe try saying, Hi, how're you? to someone in the lunch room. Maybe you can get some conversations going.

I don't have much experience myself meeting new people, so I might not be able to help much, but I can tell you,

"There has never been anything false about hope."
-Barack Obama
 
I'm in my second year of university and i have made a circle of 'friends' who are all unfortunately for me, guys. The problem is i don't really feel close to any of them, i don't see any of them outside of uni because the seem reluctant to want to. And i have 0 contact with any women. So it's just good old me. I'm starting to think about leaving the country when i have my degree because i feel there is nothing much here for me
 
mmm...2 days? That's expecting just a little too much out of yourself and people don't ya think?

If they igonore you or you feel like you're being ignored.
Take the initiative to say hello to strangers in passing or where ever...consistantly.
Intruduce yourself. Try to remember thier name.
Hold your head up high and keep a smile on your face.
Yes..make small talk

After a while you'll be thinking to yourself..."err wtf is your name again??"
"Oh ****...we met last week, you told me your name and I forgot"
"yeah..yeah I agree that teacher is a total retard...**** it, what's your fucken name"
Then you might say..
"really.. you're headed to the libuary? I was going there myself" (didn't have any plans.lmao)
"Hey..that's a cool braclet you're wearing."
"Really your mom gave that to you? and it has an ingraving of " I love you Ashley" on it.
"Can I see that?" * holding her hand or twist while looking at her braclet*
" Ashley is such a pretty name. Do you have a nick name your friends call you by?
" Sweet... you go by AJ because your middle name is Jocelyn."
"yeah most people just call me Michael".(the entire time she didn't remember your name either)..lmao
"Am I bussy after school ?".
"you want to add me in your cell?"
"No I don't mind...."
"See you after school AJ" :p

Next day..."good morning AJ"
" WAT????...you can't wear my shirt. Only my gf wears my shirt".
"you had fun last night...? Me too...
"Wat?!?...there's a hickey on my neck?" O_O
"You want me to call you Jocelyn ?. Only your BF calls you Jocelyn?"
" Can we talk about this later on tonight?"
"BTW..you look pretty today, Jocelyn"

No matter where you go , there you are.
 
Lonesome Crow said:
mmm...2 days? That's expecting just a little too much out of yourself and people don't ya think?

If they igonore you or you feel like you're being ignored.
Take the initiative to say hello to strangers in passing or where ever...consistantly.
Intruduce yourself. Try to remember thier name.
Hold your head up high and keep a smile on your face.
Yes..make small talk

After a while you'll be thinking to yourself..."err wtf is your name again??"
"Oh ****...we met last week, you told me your name and I forgot"
"yeah..yeah I agree that teacher is a total retard...**** it, what's your fucken name"
Then you might say..
"really.. you're headed to the libuary? I was going there myself" (didn't have any plans.lmao)
"Hey..that's a cool braclet you're wearing."
"Really your mom gave that to you? and it has an ingraving of " I love you Ashley" on it.
"Can I see that?" * holding her hand or twist while looking at her braclet*
" Ashley is such a pretty name. Do you have a nick name your friends call you by?
" Sweet... you go by AJ because your middle name is Jocelyn."
"yeah most people just call me Michael".(the entire time she didn't remember your name either)..lmao
"Am I bussy after school ?".
"you want to add me in your cell?"
"No I don't mind...."
"See you after school AJ" :p

Next day..."good morning AJ"
" WAT????...you can't wear my shirt. Only my gf wears my shirt".
"you had fun last night...? Me too...
"Wat?!?...there's a hickey on my neck?" O_O
"You want me to call you Jocelyn ?. Only your BF calls you Jocelyn?"
" Can we talk about this later on tonight?"
"BTW..you look pretty today, Jocelyn"

No matter where you go , there you are.

Haha! It was pretty entertaining reading that. But ya, I do have trouble remembering names sometimes.
 
hi *sigh* welcome to the forum

where are you going to school at?

*sighs*

I am going through the exact same thing it's been such a disapointment for me, i've been eating all my meals by myself with a book too :(
i don't drugs or alcohal either, and i know it's a good idea,

my roommate's had a few bad nights already because of too much alcohal,

and it's stupid, i don't find any fun in doing nothing but drinking, it's just a ******* waste of time, when i could be doing homework or playing the guitar. and don't like beer, i've heard it takes about 3 or four cans to start efeling good or drunk, and i've been becoming a lot more health conscious, lately and 've been limiting myself to one soda, and i mean all the calories and carbination from 4+ can of beer, i don't even like beer.
the only other person i've seemed to connect with is a hermit, complains of being loney, but never tries to talk or hang out with me, i'm always knocking on their door, trying to be social, they never knock on mine so i feel like an unwanted dumbass, I hate that they complain of being on their facebook (lonely person poser (is what i think of them)) they've got 400 f*cking friends that are always comment on their status, they've got tons of friends back home and a boyfriend they always go and visit over the weekend, so they never try and make new friends here.

it's just do people like me or hate me god **** it why can't they just make up their mind, they'll talk to me and sound lke they think i'm alright, but no oneever kncosk on my oor or seeks me out or asks to hang out

i just wish i could read people better ( maybe i can google something to find out how)
sorry that was an irrelevent tangent

but I'm going through the same **** thing you are buddy,

i could write/complain a lot more, but i'll refrain

how did you get the scar on yor eye?

wow honestly that sounds pretty hot and badass, you can tell people you got it from a knife fight and they'll think your really cool

lols, man that suks hat the person with the half lip, seems to have more friends a week ago i met a man with abeard tha had a better socail life than me, and even had plans to go party with her friends.

Are you far away from home? How do you get along with your family and such?

do you have any hobbies, they've got lot's of clubs at colleges, you could pobably find one that you'd like and maybe you could mingle wth the people in the group.

Well all I can say is just try your best with your studies and such, if you can't get socailzation you can at least get an education and a degree out of it

*hugs *sigh*

:)



i mean wth i shower i wear clean clothes and deodorant, i wsh my face brush my teeth, comb my hair, what is it about me that makes it so hard to make friends
 
evanescencefan91 said:
hi *sigh* welcome to the forum

where are you going to school at?

*sighs*

I am going through the exact same thing it's been such a disapointment for me, i've been eating all my meals by myself with a book too :(
i don't drugs or alcohal either, and i know it's a good idea,

my roommate's had a few bad nights already because of too much alcohal,

and it's stupid, i don't find any fun in doing nothing but drinking, it's just a ******* waste of time, when i could be doing homework or playing the guitar. and don't like beer, i've heard it takes about 3 or four cans to start efeling good or drunk, and i've been becoming a lot more health conscious, lately and 've been limiting myself to one soda, and i mean all the calories and carbination from 4+ can of beer, i don't even like beer.
the only other person i've seemed to connect with is a hermit, complains of being loney, but never tries to talk or hang out with me, i'm always knocking on their door, trying to be social, they never knock on mine so i feel like an unwanted dumbass, I hate that they complain of being on their facebook (lonely person poser (is what i think of them)) they've got 400 f*cking friends that are always comment on their status, they've got tons of friends back home and a boyfriend they always go and visit over the weekend, so they never try and make new friends here.

it's just do people like me or hate me god **** it why can't they just make up their mind, they'll talk to me and sound lke they think i'm alright, but no oneever kncosk on my oor or seeks me out or asks to hang out

i just wish i could read people better ( maybe i can google something to find out how)
sorry that was an irrelevent tangent

but I'm going through the same **** thing you are buddy,

i could write/complain a lot more, but i'll refrain

how did you get the scar on yor eye?

wow honestly that sounds pretty hot and badass, you can tell people you got it from a knife fight and they'll think your really cool

lols, man that suks hat the person with the half lip, seems to have more friends a week ago i met a man with abeard tha had a better socail life than me, and even had plans to go party with her friends.

Are you far away from home? How do you get along with your family and such?

do you have any hobbies, they've got lot's of clubs at colleges, you could pobably find one that you'd like and maybe you could mingle wth the people in the group.

Well all I can say is just try your best with your studies and such, if you can't get socailzation you can at least get an education and a degree out of it

*hugs *sigh*

:)



i mean wth i shower i wear clean clothes and deodorant, i wsh my face brush my teeth, comb my hair, what is it about me that makes it so hard to make friends

Wow man, what your going through is about 80% what I'm feeling like. I go to college at a university in Colorado. I commute from school since I live pretty close to campus, but I'm somewhat distant from my parents. They just seem kind of indifferent towards me, almost like they just didn't give a honeysuckle. Before I went to college I was nervous as hell, I even googled making friends at college orientation and things similar to that. Found a few articles, that seemed like making friends were easy a college, but what baloney.

I've pretty much tried saying hi to at least one person a day, but not one **** person has said hi to me yet. At least you have a roommate to befriend, so many people have said their roommate was their best friends in college. Yesterday I managed to hold a conversation with a girl for 5 minutes walking to lunch, it was like half a minute of talking and then a minute of awkward silence. I was able to talk to her cause our orientation group was having lunch together, but I asked all the **** questions and she seem annoyed the whole time.

I don't know why the hell people don't like me, is it my looks? The way I act? My smell? Or is it my presence? I have good hygene, I mean hell, I take 2 showers a day. I hope joining a few clubs with make it better though, hopefully.

Oh and by the way, I have told people that the scar I got was from getting knifed. Some even believed me, but I got from playing tag a long time ago. Two friends of mine (don't talk to them anymore) decide to gang up on me in a game of tag with 3 people. I tried jumping over the porch railing, tripped on it, then hit my eye on a pole. I got 36 stitches, but luckily I still have my eye.

And I've never even been to a party... The more I think about the sadder it is...

What college are you going to?
 
college is a bit better than highschool, but only because you dont have such obvious social groups like jocks emo kids nerds, whatever. they're still there but not as prominently.
But know one thing, college girls are not complete whores. They ARE whores mostly, but you gotta know the correct sequence of actions or whatever in order to get in their pants. I know, I was a football player and I got ZERO play. NONE ZILCH NADA. so my advice would be, sneak into a party, get yourself a beer and PRETEND to sip it, and watch what the guys who DO get laid do... Hopefully you'll learn the key.
best of luck
 
hey man im experiencing some pretty similar things too. i have a scar at the end of my left eyebrow that i got when i was a kid. im currently in my third year in university and so far no luck with making new friends. im always the one that start the conversations and they don't really last long. some of the people that i actually see daily don't talk to me even though they know my name. i eventually just gave up and stopped saying hi to them. i have really put effort in making friends but nothing seems to work. there's just something about me that people don't seem to like. i usually don't even eat lunch at school because i don't want to look lonely or look like a loser. when i have a break i just walk around and hopefully see someone i recognize and just say hi. it's really quite sad and depressing but that's just the way things are. so ya you are not alone and it doesn't seem to be getting better.
 
Hmm... I don't know whether it is the same for all colleges but usually orientation week is the hardest time for me to make friends. :S

I began to make friends after about a month of college. That was when we had to group up. I remember the first few weeks where I stared at the ceiling in my room, feeling like my soul detached itself from my body because I was that bored. (I stayed in the hostel)

I say just give it some time. I had lots of classmates who commute too and I'm still quite close to them even after graduating. :)

And, this is my personal opinion here, clubs are a pain. I was treasurer of my student council and yes, whilst organizing activities was fun, the DRAMA that occurs while planning is not. Ugh. Ok, so maybe a few rotten eggs do spoil the rest. But that's my two cents worth anyway. :D

Plus, don't worry about your scar. Most of my girl friends and I find them sexily fascinating. :p
 
MountainTop said:
But know one thing, college girls are not complete whores. They ARE whores mostly, but you gotta know the correct sequence of actions or whatever in order to get in their pants.


Ah, this warms the cockles of my heart. College girls aren't complete whores, just mostly whores.

So sweet.

If that's your attitude, I'm not surprised that the girls aren't flocking to you. Very few women will be interested in a guy who approaches them with the attitude, "Hey, you're a whore! So why won't you let me into your pants?"

Even the bona fide whores probably wouldn't appreciate it.
 
*Sigh* said:
I am a commuter student by the way, so I don't have a roomate to make a friend out of.

Anyone experience the same college experience? Did it get any better?

I spent two years as a commuter student, and you're right, it is hard. While others are sacked out in dorm common rooms gorging on pizza and beer and getting to know the other students, I was in the commuter lounge where it was mostly older, married students studying and mainlining coffee.

I made friends through the music groups (choir and chamber singers), and they were my close cohort the entire time I was in college.

It did get much, much better.

All the best!
 
"I began to make friends after about a month of college. That was when we had to group up. I remember the first few weeks where I stared at the ceiling in my room, feeling like my soul detached itself from my body because I was that bored."

This made me laugh...Mainly because I am in my third year of uni now and this is still a major activity for me.
 
Alex said:
"I began to make friends after about a month of college. That was when we had to group up. I remember the first few weeks where I stared at the ceiling in my room, feeling like my soul detached itself from my body because I was that bored."

This made me laugh...Mainly because I am in my third year of uni now and this is still a major activity for me.


Ouch.... I feel for you...
 
I just graduated so I guess I got some credit to tell you how it goes.

I went to a 25k people commuter school and its weird with that many people around that the school is pretty lame with the school spirit and social activities. Anyways, dude in college you get to start out with a fresh slate. None of the reputation bullshit is as sticky as it was in high school. If you mess up your rep with a group, you can move on to the next circle of friends. So really you are the selector of the friends you want.

Clubs are awesome to meet new people and to see if they vibe well with you. Each club usually has a party or a big event at least once a year. Check ur office of student life office and check out what clubs interest you. Also classes are good too start relationships cuz you normally get in to study groups for classes. After the first week, people usually develop a habit of sitting in the same places so you can talk to the same people.

I made the mistake of waiting 2 years before getting involved with my campus, and I only had made a couple friends from my major in those 2 years. Lemme just say engineering majors dont have the best selection of fine women. So after those years I decided to become more social, so I got involved. Then within a couple months I was able to meet dozens of new people, some interesting, some lame, but I was able to make some really close friends.

You just gotta look at each relationship like plants. You plant the seeds, some grow some don't, but with those that do, you gotta maintain them until they bloom. I know that was a lame analogy, but I think its really true.
 
RoflLoller said:
hey man im experiencing some pretty similar things too. i have a scar at the end of my left eyebrow that i got when i was a kid. im currently in my third year in university and so far no luck with making new friends. im always the one that start the conversations and they don't really last long. some of the people that i actually see daily don't talk to me even though they know my name. i eventually just gave up and stopped saying hi to them. i have really put effort in making friends but nothing seems to work. there's just something about me that people don't seem to like. i usually don't even eat lunch at school because i don't want to look lonely or look like a loser. when i have a break i just walk around and hopefully see someone i recognize and just say hi. it's really quite sad and depressing but that's just the way things are. so ya you are not alone and it doesn't seem to be getting better.

Heh. I know exactly how you feel. When I go to lunch I sit by myself, no yet have asked if they could sit by me. Sometimes I don't want to go to lunch because I see my classmates there and people whom I know, but they don't know me. So its awkward finding a table, especially if there is a lot of people at the cafeteria. And I am always the one to initiate conversations, but when the person I am talking too sees his or her friend they just ignore me. I always try to continue the conversation with small talk (which I hate a lot, because it seems so unnatural), asking questions and such, but the person I am talking to never asks me any questions. It kinda pisses me off a little bit, and makes me feel so **** pathetic, so lately I haven't been talking to anyone.

blue_azure said:
Hmm... I don't know whether it is the same for all colleges but usually orientation week is the hardest time for me to make friends. :S

I began to make friends after about a month of college. That was when we had to group up. I remember the first few weeks where I stared at the ceiling in my room, feeling like my soul detached itself from my body because I was that bored. (I stayed in the hostel)

I say just give it some time. I had lots of classmates who commute too and I'm still quite close to them even after graduating. :)

And, this is my personal opinion here, clubs are a pain. I was treasurer of my student council and yes, whilst organizing activities was fun, the DRAMA that occurs while planning is not. Ugh. Ok, so maybe a few rotten eggs do spoil the rest. But that's my two cents worth anyway. :D

Plus, don't worry about your scar. Most of my girl friends and I find them sexily fascinating. :p

I am not sure about that, my scar looks like an umbrella hanging upside down under my eye. It is pretty big too, I can see small scars that look like cuts could be cool, but not mine.
 
Yeah, clubs are the way forward. Can I at this late juncture in your development try and tempt you onto alcohol? You don't need to get amazingly drunk, but alcohol kills social awkwardness like morphine kills pain. Most of the people I know who don't drink are exceedingly boring people, and they usually don't drink for a dull/pompous/stupid reason.

Anyway, I think the thing is to keep trying. I remember in my first year at university there were several people who just tried REALLY HARD to make friends with people, to the extent that you really noticed ... surprise surprise, they all had lots of friends within weeks. Yes, some of them had fewer and slightly grottier friends, having perhaps less social skills, but the point is that making friends is like getting laid - there is always someone out there more desperate than you.

In life, always play the odds. If you get out there, you are stacking them as well as you can - if you stay in your room or don't approach people, you're reducing them to the odds of the future love of your life happening to knock on your window while you lie in bed staring at the ceiling. You can intellectualise the process as much as you want, but it is basically - get out there and try.
 
making friends is like getting laid - there is always someone out there more desperate than you.

ROFL XD XD XD XD
man buddah that was hilarious

:p

..... i think i'm going to post that as my face book stauts,

or shhould i , it might be kinda offensive to my penpals
 

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