Not being noticed

[Iceman1978]

The other night I was at a bar hanging out with a friend of mine. While we were talking, this woman walked by, looked at him and said "you're pretty cute" as she was walking out. He got up and followed her, and then came back a few minutes later.

While I know that I should be happy for him, and of course I am, to me this was just a very painful reminder of how women don't even notice that I exist. I was so upset that I had trouble sleeping that night and even broke down into tears. This was two days ago when this happened, and I feel somewhat better, but I'm still very hurt by it.

 

[LonesomeLoner]

I feel your pain, I've felt the same way when nobody notices me.

 

[TheSkaFish]

It's the same for me too, and it also hurts me a great deal. It makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. I've been trying for a while now to figure out just what the problem is.

That being said, though, if that's you in your profile pic, then I don't think your looks are the problem.

 

[Iceman1978]

Thanks SkaFish. For me I just feel like having confidence and a good opinion of myself is one of the toughest battles I've ever faced in life.

LonesomeLoner, What do you do to help you get through the rough times?

 

[LonesomeLoner]

Not sure really...

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I can relate. It always saddens me a little when I see other guys have girls who actually go out of their way to get their attention. I had that happen a few times as a teenager, but pretty much never since adulthood.

I guess what I personally tell myself is, sure, it would be great having things simple for once. Having someone else do all the work for me for a change. But then, there's not much room for complaining when you haven't done anything for it is there? So, maybe it's not fair in the grand scheme of things, but from my personal perspective, I guess there's no reason to complain about not getting something I didn't work for.

 

[Iceman1978]

MentatsGhoul, It just hurts though. It's hurt me something awful. It makes me feel like I don't even have what it takes to attract women.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Thanks SkaFish. For me I just feel like having confidence and a good opinion of myself is one of the toughest battles I've ever faced in life.

I have a hard time having any reason to feel confident or good about myself too.

I can relate. It always saddens me a little when I see other guys have girls who actually go out of their way to get their attention. I had that happen a few times as a teenager, but pretty much never since adulthood.

I guess what I personally tell myself is, sure, it would be great having things simple for once. Having someone else do all the work for me for a change. But then, there's not much room for complaining when you haven't done anything for it is there? So, maybe it's not fair in the grand scheme of things, but from my personal perspective, I guess there's no reason to complain about not getting something I didn't work for.

I see what you're saying about it being useless to complain about something I haven't worked for, but I too think that it would be nice if for once in my life, a girl I was attracted to went out of her way to get my attention. Other guys don't seem to have to do this work, so it would be nice if I could catch a break sometime too.

MentatsGhoul, It just hurts though. It's hurt me something awful. It makes me feel like I don't even have what it takes to attract women.

I feel your pain on this as well. Often times I've felt really low, for this very reason. It really makes a guy feel worthless.

 

[HybridWarrior93]

Thanks SkaFish. For me I just feel like having confidence and a good opinion of myself is one of the toughest battles I've ever faced in life.

I have a hard time having any reason to feel confident or good about myself too.

I can relate. It always saddens me a little when I see other guys have girls who actually go out of their way to get their attention. I had that happen a few times as a teenager, but pretty much never since adulthood.

I guess what I personally tell myself is, sure, it would be great having things simple for once. Having someone else do all the work for me for a change. But then, there's not much room for complaining when you haven't done anything for it is there? So, maybe it's not fair in the grand scheme of things, but from my personal perspective, I guess there's no reason to complain about not getting something I didn't work for.

I see what you're saying about it being useless to complain about something I haven't worked for, but I too think that it would be nice if for once in my life, a girl I was attracted to went out of her way to get my attention. Other guys don't seem to have to do this work, so it would be nice if I could catch a break sometime too.

MentatsGhoul, It just hurts though. It's hurt me something awful. It makes me feel like I don't even have what it takes to attract women.

I feel your pain on this as well. Often times I've felt really low, for this very reason. It really makes a guy feel worthless.

Im not a dude but I have the same issue. Ive had more male friends than female friends my whole life. Im 23 years old and I have never dated ever. Or even been on a date. When I used to go out with my female friends guys would hit on them all the time. If im with my male friends girls would hit on them. Theres a guy I like at work. When I would give tours of the facility I work at he would tell me hi and look at me. I asked him for his number. He said yes but I dont want to call him. Its very irritating to not feel wanted and to be the one that has to pursue people. Peoplle say im funny and honest and a good person. Guys look at me and sometimes stare but never say anything to me. Since I got the guys number he hasnt said anything to me. I havent talked to him either I dont feel like putting in the effort

 

[Paraiyar]

Thanks SkaFish. For me I just feel like having confidence and a good opinion of myself is one of the toughest battles I've ever faced in life.

I have a hard time having any reason to feel confident or good about myself too.

I can relate. It always saddens me a little when I see other guys have girls who actually go out of their way to get their attention. I had that happen a few times as a teenager, but pretty much never since adulthood.

I guess what I personally tell myself is, sure, it would be great having things simple for once. Having someone else do all the work for me for a change. But then, there's not much room for complaining when you haven't done anything for it is there? So, maybe it's not fair in the grand scheme of things, but from my personal perspective, I guess there's no reason to complain about not getting something I didn't work for.

I see what you're saying about it being useless to complain about something I haven't worked for, but I too think that it would be nice if for once in my life, a girl I was attracted to went out of her way to get my attention. Other guys don't seem to have to do this work, so it would be nice if I could catch a break sometime too.

MentatsGhoul, It just hurts though. It's hurt me something awful. It makes me feel like I don't even have what it takes to attract women.

I feel your pain on this as well. Often times I've felt really low, for this very reason. It really makes a guy feel worthless.

Im not a dude but I have the same issue. Ive had more male friends than female friends my whole life. Im 23 years old and I have never dated ever. Or even been on a date. When I used to go out with my female friends guys would hit on them all the time. If im with my male friends girls would hit on them. Theres a guy I like at work. When I would give tours of the facility I work at he would tell me hi and look at me. I asked him for his number. He said yes but I dont want to call him. Its very irritating to not feel wanted and to be the one that has to pursue people. Peoplle say im funny and honest and a good person. Guys look at me and sometimes stare but never say anything to me. Since I got the guys number he hasnt said anything to me. I havent talked to him either I dont feel like putting in the effort

If he gave you his number then go ahead and call him. Sounds like you're just shooting yourself in the foot.

 

[fabs45]

I totally get what you mean Iceman
I had a similar experience with a girl...she was my first gf when i was in grade 6 which was like 14 years ago...and she was in great 4 at the time...She wasnt very good looking but she had a kind heart so i dated her when sh asked me out...The problem was that when you started grade 7, it ment a new school and we seperated but made a vow to keep each other i our hearts...Than when i was in grade 11, she started grade 9..I was so happy to see her...but off course her promise didnt stand...So we started just being casual friends....Later on for i dont know what reason, she told me that i hurt her more than i will ever know...To this day 8 years later i still wonder what she meant and i still feel kinnda a sting in my heart that i used to hold her in...Soo bottom line and i know it sucks, but promises are easilly forgotten or replaced as soon as somebody else comes along that makes them happy....But if you got great looks and a great personality i am very sure that youll get a girlfriend in no time...
Which also raises a question, why does it seem that all the jerks get the girls these days, that noobody cares anymore for a sensitive, polite guy...???

 

[Xpendable]

I also miss to have someone's attention. It has been a long time since a girl was actually interested in You become invisible to their surroundings. Is bad enough that most people need an initial physical attraction to decide to approach you. Later, if they're smart, they can observe if your personality is worth knowing, but sadly that can't be observed or is really hard to overcome in their eyes.

 

[HybridWarrior93]

Thanks SkaFish. For me I just feel like having confidence and a good opinion of myself is one of the toughest battles I've ever faced in life.

I have a hard time having any reason to feel confident or good about myself too.

I can relate. It always saddens me a little when I see other guys have girls who actually go out of their way to get their attention. I had that happen a few times as a teenager, but pretty much never since adulthood.

I guess what I personally tell myself is, sure, it would be great having things simple for once. Having someone else do all the work for me for a change. But then, there's not much room for complaining when you haven't done anything for it is there? So, maybe it's not fair in the grand scheme of things, but from my personal perspective, I guess there's no reason to complain about not getting something I didn't work for.

I see what you're saying about it being useless to complain about something I haven't worked for, but I too think that it would be nice if for once in my life, a girl I was attracted to went out of her way to get my attention. Other guys don't seem to have to do this work, so it would be nice if I could catch a break sometime too.

MentatsGhoul, It just hurts though. It's hurt me something awful. It makes me feel like I don't even have what it takes to attract women.

I feel your pain on this as well. Often times I've felt really low, for this very reason. It really makes a guy feel worthless.

Im not a dude but I have the same issue. Ive had more male friends than female friends my whole life. Im 23 years old and I have never dated ever. Or even been on a date. When I used to go out with my female friends guys would hit on them all the time. If im with my male friends girls would hit on them. Theres a guy I like at work. When I would give tours of the facility I work at he would tell me hi and look at me. I asked him for his number. He said yes but I dont want to call him. Its very irritating to not feel wanted and to be the one that has to pursue people. Peoplle say im funny and honest and a good person. Guys look at me and sometimes stare but never say anything to me. Since I got the guys number he hasnt said anything to me. I havent talked to him either I dont feel like putting in the effort

If he gave you his number then go ahead and call him. Sounds like you're just shooting yourself in the foot.

If a guys really interested he'll put in effort im tired of having to do it first. If he doesn't ever talk to me im fine with it

 

[Paraiyar]

Thanks SkaFish. For me I just feel like having confidence and a good opinion of myself is one of the toughest battles I've ever faced in life.

I have a hard time having any reason to feel confident or good about myself too.

I can relate. It always saddens me a little when I see other guys have girls who actually go out of their way to get their attention. I had that happen a few times as a teenager, but pretty much never since adulthood.

I guess what I personally tell myself is, sure, it would be great having things simple for once. Having someone else do all the work for me for a change. But then, there's not much room for complaining when you haven't done anything for it is there? So, maybe it's not fair in the grand scheme of things, but from my personal perspective, I guess there's no reason to complain about not getting something I didn't work for.

I see what you're saying about it being useless to complain about something I haven't worked for, but I too think that it would be nice if for once in my life, a girl I was attracted to went out of her way to get my attention. Other guys don't seem to have to do this work, so it would be nice if I could catch a break sometime too.

MentatsGhoul, It just hurts though. It's hurt me something awful. It makes me feel like I don't even have what it takes to attract women.

I feel your pain on this as well. Often times I've felt really low, for this very reason. It really makes a guy feel worthless.

Im not a dude but I have the same issue. Ive had more male friends than female friends my whole life. Im 23 years old and I have never dated ever. Or even been on a date. When I used to go out with my female friends guys would hit on them all the time. If im with my male friends girls would hit on them. Theres a guy I like at work. When I would give tours of the facility I work at he would tell me hi and look at me. I asked him for his number. He said yes but I dont want to call him. Its very irritating to not feel wanted and to be the one that has to pursue people. Peoplle say im funny and honest and a good person. Guys look at me and sometimes stare but never say anything to me. Since I got the guys number he hasnt said anything to me. I havent talked to him either I dont feel like putting in the effort

If he gave you his number then go ahead and call him. Sounds like you're just shooting yourself in the foot.

If a guys really interested he'll put in effort im tired of having to do it first. If he doesn't ever talk to me im fine with it

Maybe he's shy. You might as well call him.

 

[kuro]

It happens to me too and I'm the other gender. I'm always ignored and it is upsetting. Happens a lot when I'm with my sister.

 

[EmilyFoxSeaton]

Me too. In fact I am invisible in other ways too. I have worked in the same job for 12 years and someone I have worked with for 12 years actually said to me... you are Emily right? WHAT? Shocked that I am *that* memorable that she doesn't know who I am and that she would come right out and say it. Sometimes when I leave my workplace and I am not in familiar surroundings people don't see me. While others people notice right away and run up to them.

I try to think if I see that in other people but I don't -- by and large I notice everyone.

My theory-- I don't go out and do things with people a lot, I try to keep to myself -- and maybe you have to be around people a lot to have a certain body language that makes you memorable.

 

[lilE]

Same here. No girl has ever told me that she was attracted to me or that she liked me, and I am almost 30.