not clicking in life...

[cool_breeze]

Hello. I feel that I am not clicking in life. I'm 28. I only have 1 main thread on here. The outcome was that people basically suggested that I take some action.

I don't have any severe problems I don't think. I'm in pretty good shape, went to college, most people like me, I'm seen as pretty smart.

Then why do I feel alone? I've never really been in love.

My problems are mostly finding a purpose in life. I'm fairly good at a lot of stuff. Maybe just need to focus on something?! I feel that this has been going on a long time. Hardly anything seems to really be taking root for me.

It seems like everyone knows what they're doing in life. I've hardly ever felt that kind of purpose. I have interests but that's not enough.

I feel really alone. I don't even know if this is the right website for me. A lot of people on here seem to have worse problems. But in a way this almost makes me feel worse. It's not like I'm an alcoholic, or disabled, or bad looking, or something like that. In fact there's nothing really wrong with me.

I just feel so unfulfilled. I don't feel like I've had a lot of opportunities in life. My family has told me I need to make opportunities.

I really wish I had a devoted girlfriend. I can get dates but I hardly ever feel a real feeling of connection with someone. I met a girl when I was traveling awhile back that I liked a lot and we used to talk a lot online after that (she lives in another country). She had to move for work and she's hardly ever online now.

I just feel alone. I feel like if I was with the girl I met traveling we could support each other and take care of each other and do almost anything. I feel like a plant that's not being nourished. I also feel like I'm letting people down. People who know me and meet me think I could be and will be doing great things. I could grow into a mighty oak tree, but it's going to take love. I feel like I'm being left out in life.

Am I ever going to blossom?

 

[boodika]

Hi CoolBreeze,

I feel like i can really relate to you way of looking at things. Id hate to see you leave this forum because you think you dont have big enough issues, because i feel much the same. In theory i have quite a good life, except Im very alone with no friends at all except those that i only see at work (so colleagues, not real friends that i can hang out with etc), and i feel like i have no purpose in life. I feel like Im just existing.

I hope what i say, in some warped way, makes you feel less out of place on this forum atleast, and that not everyone is dealing with physical or emotional trauma, some of us are just really lonely and lost.

 

[cool_breeze]

Ya, thanks. I just don't know if I can do another year like this. There are some mental tricks like being thankful for what you do have and stuff like that. While I am thankful for that, I need some real, tangible stuff. I've even been reading that if you don't feel connected, don't feel love, it can cause physical heart problems and mental problems.

My life is sort of like a joke. I'm a fairly young, educated, fairly good looking guy yet nothing seems to be coming to me no matter what I do. I always seem to be on the cusp of something happening, but then it doesn't. Hell I was recently described as "friendly, educated, nice." I think I'm seen as a cool, interesting guy. My life just feels empty up close. If the girl I met traveling disappears my life won't really have any point at all.

You know some people have it worse than me and probably you it sounds like. But I envy some of those people sometimes. Some of them seem to at least have their own family or have found their place even if they have some other problems. I think love and finding your place in life is the most important thing...

 

[ThatOneGirl]

Sadly, I don’t really have any different advice to offer you. But, I can tell you that your definitely not alone in feeling like this. I feel exactly like that too. My life isn’t absolutely horrible. I’ve had some really crappy situations in my life, but nothing that’s overtly, life threateningly horrible. I guess part of my problem is that I just feel absolutely average in every way. Am I worthless... no, but could people do better …probably. I have been described the same way as you (Except for being a girl obviously), but its like that doesn't really get me anywhere. It seems that its just something people say.

No matter what point in life I’m at, I always feel like I’m just waiting for the thing that’s going to make life better, and it never seems to get here. Even though I have taken every opportunity that I can, its like it still isn’t what I want/need in life. People always tell me to take action and make life what I want, and I do try. However, I feel lost. Every time I try to do something that I think is going to move my life in direction I want, it ends up not being what I really want.

The best I can say for you is to try to take as many opportunities as you can and just keep watching for the opportunity that you need to make your life what you want it to be. That’s what I’m doing.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Don't worry if you don't click with poeple too much. Most people are fucken retarded in general. They dont know wtf is going on anymore than you do. They just think they do...

 

[4wardMotion]

I can empathize with you.

I can not offer you advice, as the path I chose is not one I would wish upon anyone. (Since childhood, I have not fit in anywhere. I actively tried to make friends, force myself into the mainstream, and live a normal life. It didn't work and the aftermath left me drained. I decided to focus on making my solitary life as enjoyable as possible and adapting to being alone.)

I genuinely hope you can try to go out and meet good people, who will care for and accept you as you are. Maybe if you focus on finding your purpose in life, such as pursuing a career or trying new hobbies, you will find friends and a significant other in the process.

I wish you well.

 

[cool_breeze]

Thanks. Yeah not necessarily socially even. That's part of it I guess. I mean as I said I'm usually liked and I know people and stuff. It's more just like well, some people seem to get into a longterm 'flow' and their life gets more automatic. I don't get that usually. That's what I meant by clicking. Like clicking into place and then having things 'just happen' or something. And a solid romantic partner would be part of that.

 

[paulo]

im seeing quite a few people around the age of 30 going through somewhat of the same thing.
its not that strange though.
3 of my friends are at that point right now.
i was a few years ago although i had some obvious reasons for it.

seems the people that think a bit more about things and life and stuf have a harder time with it.
gues that meens your a little "smarter" than the average person that just rolls into their lives and jobs maybe settle for the first girl they get pregnant and OOps theres your family now lets get a dog and were all set.

better take your time to figure out what you want out of life than stumble into it and having to pretend this is what you planned or admitting to yourself something went horribly wrong and your pretty stuck now.

no one knows what theyre doing.
acting like they do makes em feel better about it i gues.

just think about it like your lucky enough to have the time and oportunity to figuere out what you really want not being stuck in something that just happend to you.
finding you "purpose" in life is part of life isnt it?
just be glad your not one of the sheep being hurded through life.
at least you still have room to choose.

finding a girl is hard when your not happy with yourself.
having a girl is prob not gonne fix everthing anyway.
its hard to be in love when your not happy on the inside.

dont worry to much about what ather people say or think, its your life.
you need to do what you need to do.
as long as you dont hurt anyone while doing it or yourself.

just have fun trying to figuere things out.
seems to be something you need to go through at some point in your life.
who says there is a purpose anyway.
what if by the time your old and grey, you lived your life and its time to go you find out there was none.

not clicking in life is a good thing, it means your not a sheep.
unless you wanne be a sheep than your "unlucky" enough to have a brain that thinks about stuff a little more than the avarage brain.
your not the onely one, a lot of people here have that problem i believe.

live seems so much easier when your a sheep, but im glad im not one of em.

 

[spectacles]

I can relate to what u say cool_breeze. I feel Im going through the same in my life. Seems many of us are...

I decided to focus on making my solitary life as enjoyable as possible and adapting to being alone.)

Just what I was thinking last night...

 

[paulo]

if i only had this or if i could just do that than everthing would be alright.

even if you do end up getting it it prob wont change the way you feel.
unless theres actually something phisically "wrong" with you (brain chemestry or something) thers prob a reason why you feel what you feel.
trying to find that reason might solf a lot more than getting stuff you think will make your life better.
you will still be you but with more stuff or a great job or a gilfriend.

I can relate to what u say cool_breeze. I feel Im going through the same in my life. Seems many of us are...

I decided to focus on making my solitary life as enjoyable as possible and adapting to being alone.)

Just what I was thinking last night...

i dont fit into the "mainstream" life aswell, never did, tryed like hell though, didnt end well.
but i tryed the solitary thing aswell, for 6 years it was just me in my own little bubble, ill never do that again.

im trying out the middle part now