LoveActually
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- Dec 12, 2015
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I wasn’t sure where to post this. I could easily post this under relationships, social problems, low self-esteem/shyness, and depression because I feel all of those things, but I think the main thing is loneliness…at least what I’ve been feeling lately.
I am a 35 yr old female, single, not married, no children, no career, living with my parents.
I have feelings of fear, loneliness, low self esteem, insecurity, failing, stress, worry, embarrassment. I’m 100% introvert.
I wonder at age 35 will I ever find someone? I worry that I’m getting older and won’t be able to have babies, and I try so hard to keep the hope.
I have no career because I have so many insecurities and self esteem issues. I have a fear of failure in everything I do. I have insecurities about my body (I have always been overweight) which has always been a struggle my whole life and is another story in itself. Many times in the past I have even taken days off work simply because I feel the clothes I have don’t pleasing on me and I have nothing to wear. I hate being the new person at a job (and I always am the new person because I have never been able to hold a job longer than 6 months). I worry about what people think of me. If I’m uncomfortable around those people, I”ll quit. If I feel I’m not doing good enough at my job, I’ll quit. I have no car and I live with my parents simply because I can’t hold down a job and have not money to survive on my own.
I have a big family whom I love and loves me that includes uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces, siblings (around 60+ family) and just a few close knit friends as I’m uncomfortable meeting new people and can’t seem to even keep new friends when I do. But only 1 or 2 people out of my 60+ family and friends I’m comfortable talking about my feelings to (and no even everything). Even around them I’m usually the quiet one. The one who won’t say anything or do anything for fear of doing or saying something stupid and embarrass myself.
I’m just feeling lost and I don’t know what the purpose of my life is. I feel like I’m in a never ending cycle. It’s always a "I can’t do this because of that." I’m not lazy, but I have no motivation. I find it difficult to find strength in many things. Most of my friends and family have kids and are married which does make me envious of them. I’m tired of being a third or fifth wheel. I’m tired of crying alone all the time, and wish I had a man to talk to, someone to just hug me. I don’t know if finding a man will change my feelings of loneliness, I don’t know if having children will change it. I feel there may be some hidden reason I have all these feelings and I have to figure it out or have someone help me figure it out like a therapist (but I don’t the money to pay them $100+ an hour). Being single, I don’t mind being alone. I love and need my alone time. It’s just the painful feeling of loneliness that gets to me so much and I guess the fear of never having a family of my own.
I apologize for being all over the place but thank you for taking the time to read this.
This is an article that I’m sure some of you have already read….but it’s exactly how I feel.
http://www.yourtango.com/233213/10-heartbreaking-truths-about-loneliness-single-people-dont-say
I am a 35 yr old female, single, not married, no children, no career, living with my parents.
I have feelings of fear, loneliness, low self esteem, insecurity, failing, stress, worry, embarrassment. I’m 100% introvert.
I wonder at age 35 will I ever find someone? I worry that I’m getting older and won’t be able to have babies, and I try so hard to keep the hope.
I have no career because I have so many insecurities and self esteem issues. I have a fear of failure in everything I do. I have insecurities about my body (I have always been overweight) which has always been a struggle my whole life and is another story in itself. Many times in the past I have even taken days off work simply because I feel the clothes I have don’t pleasing on me and I have nothing to wear. I hate being the new person at a job (and I always am the new person because I have never been able to hold a job longer than 6 months). I worry about what people think of me. If I’m uncomfortable around those people, I”ll quit. If I feel I’m not doing good enough at my job, I’ll quit. I have no car and I live with my parents simply because I can’t hold down a job and have not money to survive on my own.
I have a big family whom I love and loves me that includes uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces, siblings (around 60+ family) and just a few close knit friends as I’m uncomfortable meeting new people and can’t seem to even keep new friends when I do. But only 1 or 2 people out of my 60+ family and friends I’m comfortable talking about my feelings to (and no even everything). Even around them I’m usually the quiet one. The one who won’t say anything or do anything for fear of doing or saying something stupid and embarrass myself.
I’m just feeling lost and I don’t know what the purpose of my life is. I feel like I’m in a never ending cycle. It’s always a "I can’t do this because of that." I’m not lazy, but I have no motivation. I find it difficult to find strength in many things. Most of my friends and family have kids and are married which does make me envious of them. I’m tired of being a third or fifth wheel. I’m tired of crying alone all the time, and wish I had a man to talk to, someone to just hug me. I don’t know if finding a man will change my feelings of loneliness, I don’t know if having children will change it. I feel there may be some hidden reason I have all these feelings and I have to figure it out or have someone help me figure it out like a therapist (but I don’t the money to pay them $100+ an hour). Being single, I don’t mind being alone. I love and need my alone time. It’s just the painful feeling of loneliness that gets to me so much and I guess the fear of never having a family of my own.
I apologize for being all over the place but thank you for taking the time to read this.
This is an article that I’m sure some of you have already read….but it’s exactly how I feel.
http://www.yourtango.com/233213/10-heartbreaking-truths-about-loneliness-single-people-dont-say