Overwhelmed

[xaero]

I suffer from bad depression and anxiety. My job is a huge contributor of these things. The on call rotations are my biggest problem, but my therapist wrote me a doctor's note to exempt me from them. I hope my work accepts it. I've been trying to find another job but I haven't had much luck finding one that suits me. On top of all that, I found out some really disconcerting news about my best friend who's in the army. His buddies have been getting killed off left and right, one of which he witnessed die. He's my best friend. He's my only friend... I don't want to lose him. He's like my brother. I love him.

When I was 8 years old, my sister got sick with a rare and incurable pulmonary disease. She was in and out of various hospitals for three years until finally she died. I was constantly separated without warning from my immediate family during this time. Being on call and worrying about losing my buddy is like reliving my past... Lately I've been feeling like my life has been coming apart. I have no support system, no one to talk to, besides my therapist (who I only get to see once a month due to insurance reasons) and the suicide hotline. I guess I just came here to vent. No need to respond. No one can help me anyway.

 

[Peaches]

dear Xaero, --- hugs ((((( ))))) sometimes support arrives when it's least expected, I wish that will happen to you, and that your friend comes back safe and sound

 

[jaguarundi]

Nothing I can give you but **hugs** and the hope that you find an unexpected strength from either within you Or outside, to help you through.

 

[Tiina63]

Hi Xaero, I hope that your employer accepts the note so that the stress of on call rotations is removed from your shoulders.
Your worry over your friend is completely natural and I pray that he will come home safe and sound after his tour of duty.
I am sorry about the loss of your sister-it is hard not to have a support system at difficult times. Having to go through them more or less on your own makes them even harder.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Xaero, I never knew about your sister.. I'm so sorry to hear about this. *hugs*

Your work anxiety - I totally get it, I had a huge one recently more so than all these years cos it just seems to get tougher the more they knew I am resigning. The problem is the doctor's letter I gave my employer didn't really work. I guess they wanted to work me out till I am depleted.. but oh well. I'm also done. Searching for a job isn't easy as well. I do understand. But I hope you don't give up and keep strong in this area.

As for your best friend, I really don't know what to say, but to really try and make contact with him as much as you can from now on. What happens or doesn't happen is really beyond your control. We can only hope you don't lose your best friend like that and that he will come back one day, safe.

I hope you can find some peace amidst all the anxiety, I truly know how difficult it must be. But you will get past it, just don't give up. You can talk to us here too when it gets really bad or difficult.

Good luck. *hugs*

 

[MrPaul]

My good man, all I can offer is *hugs* and if you need some one to talk to, feel free to PM me :3 or join us on the XAT chat, everyone's friendly, it helps trust me

 

[xaero]

Thanks for the kind words guys.