Just over two years ago I had been attending a creative writing group which was also a support group once a week at the local MIND mental health drop in centre for three years. That year in August I was diagnosed with Aspergers and I started to feel really ill. Thought it was stress over the diagnosis but it later turned out to be a brain aneurysm.
At the time I had a really bad headache all the time and was feeling crap emotionally . I was crying a lot as well and most days I went to the drop in centre and cried quietly in a corner. I spoke twice to the woman who ran the centre and the first time she was ok but the second time she was really nasty. She told me that people were fed up with me crying, that noone took me seriously, that if I wanted to kill myself I would already have done it etc. Anyway, I was admitted to hospital later that day (in the night) and ended up having brain surgery. When I was in hospital, one of the writing group sent me a card and she phoned the hospital once to ask how I was. Other than this, the group didn't bother. None of them came to see me in hospital or when I came home afterwards. None of them texted me or emailed me to ask how I was. As it was also meant to be a support group, I felt hurt about this. I didn't go back to the centre because of how the manageress had spoken to me and because I didn't see the group as very supportive.
Fast forward two years-on another thread I have written about a man in our AS group who we are all visiting in hospital regularly. Like me he has no family, and we are like a surrogate family for him.
I recently went back to the writing group after a two year break- I went one week and then didn't go for a fortnight owing to visiting my AS friend in hospital. I mentioned to R., a man in the writing group, that I hadn't been for two weeks because of visiting the hospital and I said how all of us in the AS group were all visiting J. R. said that the writing group would visit if one of us went to hospital and I said that noone had visited me. This has brought back how I felt at the time. I feel that returning to the group was a bad idea. Last night I was awake for hours feeling really upset that the writing group hadn't cared about about me when I needed care. It's like a sore place inside which I thought had healed, but now the scab has been torn off. (Sorry that this sounds so horrible.)
J. is holding his own in the hospital. He is eating a lot of yoghurt as his throat is sore. I will be seeing him next on Tuesday.
At the time I had a really bad headache all the time and was feeling crap emotionally . I was crying a lot as well and most days I went to the drop in centre and cried quietly in a corner. I spoke twice to the woman who ran the centre and the first time she was ok but the second time she was really nasty. She told me that people were fed up with me crying, that noone took me seriously, that if I wanted to kill myself I would already have done it etc. Anyway, I was admitted to hospital later that day (in the night) and ended up having brain surgery. When I was in hospital, one of the writing group sent me a card and she phoned the hospital once to ask how I was. Other than this, the group didn't bother. None of them came to see me in hospital or when I came home afterwards. None of them texted me or emailed me to ask how I was. As it was also meant to be a support group, I felt hurt about this. I didn't go back to the centre because of how the manageress had spoken to me and because I didn't see the group as very supportive.
Fast forward two years-on another thread I have written about a man in our AS group who we are all visiting in hospital regularly. Like me he has no family, and we are like a surrogate family for him.
I recently went back to the writing group after a two year break- I went one week and then didn't go for a fortnight owing to visiting my AS friend in hospital. I mentioned to R., a man in the writing group, that I hadn't been for two weeks because of visiting the hospital and I said how all of us in the AS group were all visiting J. R. said that the writing group would visit if one of us went to hospital and I said that noone had visited me. This has brought back how I felt at the time. I feel that returning to the group was a bad idea. Last night I was awake for hours feeling really upset that the writing group hadn't cared about about me when I needed care. It's like a sore place inside which I thought had healed, but now the scab has been torn off. (Sorry that this sounds so horrible.)
J. is holding his own in the hospital. He is eating a lot of yoghurt as his throat is sore. I will be seeing him next on Tuesday.