People have no depth nowadays

[grosslonelyguy]

Your partly right I suppose. I have let it get to me but then it is all around us as grosslonelyguy said.

I don't dress with a cap/jeans round my ankles but I always feel I stick out. I see immaculately dressed people who seem to carry themselves better and I think when people do see me they judge me on ethnicity sometimes. Would you think a mixedrace guy from London looking like me likes to discuss politics, is liberal, is interest in different things, emo girls etc

I think people do assume I'm a dope smoker and I just have nothing interesting to say.

You can see I'm really self conscious but I'm trying to figure out why I'm overlooked by nearly everyone in society. Even those I perceive as interesting and want to get close to (those with a little depth!)

It's honestly so boring in society. Most people I know my age (on facebook) talk of when and where their next tattoos are gonna be. I hate tats. Or where to get permanent hair removal from for their genitals. When their next trip to Magaluf, malia, Portugal will be. It's a snooze fest. Has the world gone insane or am I? I really do feel like a grey chess-piece on the board

Can someone be a bit different!

I sometimes dress differently form most men. Yesterday afternoon, I was wearing A red shirt with long black sleeves and with a black button up on top. Kept my shoulder-length curly hair as it is, fake Emerald ring and my necklace (Dragon wrapped around agate ball) with black jeans and shoes.
I dress to impress, but not to be some hipster, or to be different, only cause I wear what I feel comfortable in.
I dunno what people think of me, to be honest. Nobody seems to be able to describe me. Of course, there are those who do not know me who think I'm just being some emo hipster (the fresia?).
I know, right? "Oh em gee gawd! Who is this stranger next to me in bed?" "Kim K's this, Kim k's that!" "Kylie Jenner" "The next party is gonna rock!" "Bud light forever" "I think I might have gono..." effin' hell...
Don't forget those who do not change even after marriage or prison!!!

 

[lonelydoc]

At least you're not in America!
America: ugly, shallow women
UK: hot, shallow women
Europe and parts of Latin America: hot, cultured women

 

[LonelySutton]

From a woman's point of view I am finding this as well. It isn't just a rank on men. It is that they just want a woman as a mommy replacement. To cook for them, clean for them, and when they want, have sex. It is all about them. This is what I find with the large majority of men I meet. There is no concern for you in the mix. You go on a date and the guy just cant stop talking about himself and his needs. So many great women that I know just aren't interested in dating anymore. There is just no added value to a woman's life. Perhaps that is why the only women left, out there who haven't retired, are those lacking depth. The few friends I know who got married like 10 years ago are all getting divorces. To me it just makes me glad I never went down that road. What a freaking waste of time energy and money. The condo complex I life in is mostly single women of various ages. IMHO, all amazing. Some old, some young, some ugly, some extremely attractive. Only one got married. And her husband is just horrible. I don't even know how she deals with him. He cannot even maintain a civil tone in speaking to people.

I was thinking the other day that it almost seems like there is this epidemic of lonely people and weird stuff. Simultaneously moving us away from reproducing humans and typical family stuff. It makes me wonder if nature itself isn't forcing this (perhaps due to what we eat?) as a reaction to overpopulation. The opposite sex seems less and less attractive to us as a way of slowing overpopulation. Perhaps why gay life / transgender life is becoming more and more appealing and part of our culture and why there are so many heteros who seem content / or unable to connect with other heteros.

 

[Minus]

At least you're not in America!
America: ugly, shallow women
UK: hot, shallow women
Europe and parts of Latin America: hot, cultured women

Since no one is really dense enough to believe all of a countries women look the same or are the same i will have to guess that this is some type of weird harassment. As much as you go on about "ugly" people it is nice to know that if someone lives in the right location you do find them appealing.

 

[VanillaCreme]

America: ugly, shallow women

Well, that's not nice. I'm not shallow.

 

[Tealeaf]

From a woman's point of view I am finding this as well. It isn't just a rank on men. It is that they just want a woman as a mommy replacement. To cook for them, clean for them, and when they want, have sex. It is all about them. This is what I find with the large majority of men I meet. There is no concern for you in the mix. You go on a date and the guy just cant stop talking about himself and his needs. So many great women that I know just aren't interested in dating anymore. There is just no added value to a woman's life. Perhaps that is why the only women left, out there who haven't retired, are those lacking depth. The few friends I know who got married like 10 years ago are all getting divorces. To me it just makes me glad I never went down that road. What a freaking waste of time energy and money. The condo complex I life in is mostly single women of various ages. IMHO, all amazing. Some old, some young, some ugly, some extremely attractive. Only one got married. And her husband is just horrible. I don't even know how she deals with him. He cannot even maintain a civil tone in speaking to people.

I was thinking the other day that it almost seems like there is this epidemic of lonely people and weird stuff. Simultaneously moving us away from reproducing humans and typical family stuff. It makes me wonder if nature itself isn't forcing this (perhaps due to what we eat?) as a reaction to overpopulation. The opposite sex seems less and less attractive to us as a way of slowing overpopulation. Perhaps why gay life / transgender life is becoming more and more appealing and part of our culture and why there are so many heteros who seem content / or unable to connect with other heteros.

I've noticed a lot of this as well. The last one had massive emotional problems, but rather than believe they were something to work on or a failing he was responsible for it was just his astrological sign's temperament and something I was going to have to accept about him. Needless to say, I left immediately after the incident where he said that.

I've tried some online outlets for making new connections, but women get a lot of single men their age looking for "friendship" who exclusively talk to the women there. From their mannerisms it's clear many of them are looking for a replacement girlfriend or validation from women to, again, cover for their lack of a love life, not a mutually-respecting friendship with someone they'd be happy to turn down if they didn't like each other that much no matter the gender.

Half of any ads are exclusively what the poster needs, anyway. Someone positive to cheer them up during the day. Someone they can text about their problems late at night. Someone to entertain them on the way to work. Someone to write an idea for them because they don't want to practice writing. Fix this, fix that. Make me feel better. Gimme, gimme, gimme.

Thankfully I do know men who aren't like this, but there's a noticeable crowd in this world of both genders who just need other people around to make them feel better about their insecurity, their emptiness, their apathy, and the cowardice that keeps them from confronting it themselves. It's hard for people who have something to give to find matches in this world who won't greedily suck it all up and then discard them.

The people I've met have their problems, but we're able to lift each other up rather than beg to be uplifted and cared for ourselves. We don't drain, we create--humor, fiction, games, art, understanding, and more. If we want to do something, we combine strengths and split the rewards or teach each other. Pain and generosity to loved ones aren't mutually exclusive.

 

[mickey]

On a dating site such as OKCupid you find people who are stark raving bonkers. And I mean System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether. Those are THE worst places to go looking for a substantive friendship.

Also, someone having cybersex with you during your first online meeting (and for four straight hours at that, at your first online meeting) is a pretty good indication they don't think things through or have much capacity to build a deep friendship. Everything that happened afterwards was entirely to be expected.

Beyond that, look at a clearheaded description of homo sapiens sapiens (our subspecies, as there was also another type of homo sapiens about 200,000 years ago). Compared to other animals we are small, weak, slow, weaponless and whiny. To survive in a state of nature we had to become devious. People think being devious is being "smart" but in fact it's not. Only after our subspecies had come to dominate the world and individual members no longer needed the advantage of deviousness did we begin to develop true intelligence. For the most part, what lies at the root of our minds is still subterfuge, trickery, sneaking around and operating from concealment. Why in the world would you expect people who have that kind of psychological foundation to be nice????? It's a silly expectation. Just accept that we came to dominate the earth because, at bottom, we are evil. Then it won't surprise you any more when people behave badly. They're just doing what comes naturally to all of us.

 

[Sometimes]

...
Beyond that, look at a clearheaded description of homo sapiens sapiens (our subspecies, as there was also another type of homo sapiens about 200,000 years ago). Compared to other animals we are small, weak, slow, weaponless and whiny. To survive in a state of nature we had to become devious. People think being devious is being "smart" but in fact it's not. Only after our subspecies had come to dominate the world and individual members no longer needed the advantage of deviousness did we begin to develop true intelligence. For the most part, what lies at the root of our minds is still subterfuge, trickery, sneaking around and operating from concealment. Why in the world would you expect people who have that kind of psychological foundation to be nice????? It's a silly expectation. Just accept that we came to dominate the earth because, at bottom, we are evil. Then it won't surprise you any more when people behave badly. They're just doing what comes naturally to all of us.

Truth. But for all of that, I wonder if we don't have a toggle switch in there somewhere, which will take us out of the lowest level of functioning, into a higher level. One that switches when we have the first two levels of maslow's heirarchy satisfied, and also the first two levels of maslow's future/belief heirarchy is satisfied (ok, I made that up). If you not only have your physiological needs met, but you also believe you always will have your physiological needs met; if you not only have your safety needs met, but you also believe you always will have your safety needs met; will fear then be overrided? Is it then safe to be generous? curious? caring?

There's plenty of evidence that people who have, just want to have more. I have a neighbour with massive amounts of land who exhibits a fear that what he has will be taken from him if he doesn't guard it. But if you not only have an abundant life, but if you believe you have an abundant life, are we then free to operate at a better level?

 

[quintus 2]

You asked: can anybody be a bit différent, please?
Well- I am. Not a bit. Mais totalement different. Je te jure!

 

[there is no hope]

People just don't have that much depth to begin with. People are more animal than they'd like to believe.

 

[mickey]

Sometimes,

I didn't quote your reply because I have some trouble snipping quoted text in order to keep it manageable. It could be something about the forum software or something about my browser or system settings, I dunno.

I think people who do feel like they have an abundant life, whether they do or don't, tend to be kind and generous and to think of others first. It's not the reality but the EXPERIENCE of strength and contentment (or, from the viewpoint of a feelings-oriented person, the feeling of strength and contentment) that makes us better people. But those who are born with a silver spoon up their butt tend to grow up deficient in their humanity, stunted and oblivious in their perspectives. Strength and contentment must be achieved in one's own lifetime through one's own efforts. And then there's always the danger of the pursuit of achievement becoming an unbreakable habit so that the person gets stuck in a rut of wanting more and more and more. There's also the curious phenomenon of rich people always comparing themselves to someone richer than they are and therefore feeling poor; and of business owners with nearly life and death power over their employees feeling helpless and exposed in the face of clients, suppliers and competitors. That last one I've personally observed but never been able to figure out.

 

[quintus 2]

@mickey: I just read your post and with regards to thé phenomen that you observed, I got the feeling of living in a totally différent society. Where I live shop owners don't have such powers and surely are not frightened by their customers. And I know some very wealthy people who just don't give a **** about the presumably greater wealth of others. At least I don't think so. And believe it or not: some of them are really very nice to have around. Generally I don't believe in catégories. In fact I think it is counter productive to label people. I don't want to be labelled either. It's so easy, no?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Generally I don't believe in catégories. In fact I think it is counter productive to label people. I don't want to be labelled either. It's so easy, no?

I don't like labels either.