M_also_lonely
Well-known member
Lonliness is killing me, I lost everything in my life, I am totally broken. Please help. I really want someone to listen to my story.Please help me...Please.....
Please Please Please Help. I am dying...
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
EveWasFramed
Well-known member
M_also_lonely said:
Hi there, M. Welcome to the forum. It's a little slow on the forum this time of the evening, but there are plenty here who are glad to listen. Please feel free to say what you need to say.
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
First let me introduce myself. I am the biggest idiot in the world. I am the dumbest, ugliest and the most uninteresting creature of earth. My age is 18. I was a bright, happy person since childhood. The thing I lacked was smartness. People loved me, cared of me, I had good friends. But as time passed, everything started changing.No one would talk to me properly, I lost my importance in their life.But that's fine.I deserved that. 2 years ago, I fell in love with a girl in my class. She was the simplest and the most beautiful girl ever created. She would never talk to boys, she was always involved in studies. Once I went to her and we started our first talk. Slowly we became friends(that's what I believed). But as I was lacking common sense, I used to rush to her to talk to her all the time. Whenever I used to go to her, my mind would become blank, I didn't know what to speak. I would just look into her eyes and lost somewhere else.I truly loved her from the deepest of my heart. But couldn't dare to tell her. Her behaviour always confused me.On one side she would talk to me very nicely when I would talk to her, on the other side, she used to ignore me when I would to make an eye contact, or when we would cross each other. The more she would ignore me, stronger my feelings would become. Time simply passed. I didn't know what to talk to her to impress her, what to do to make her smile. I would go to her and try to talk to her only because her presence made me feel safe.After 1 year, I decided to ask her. Not about her feelings towards me, it was asking her phone number. I know this is funny as I took 1 year to ask her number, but this is how I am. I asked her, she refused to give me her number. She said I don't give my number to strangers. I was shattered into atoms.Was I a stranger to her?? I went home and cried all night, I know I shouldn't cry being a boy , but this is how I am. I didn't cry because she didn't give me her number, I didn't cry even because she called me a stranger, I cried because I realized that she couldn't see my love. I know I could have told her about my feelings a long ago, but I couldn't dare to ask her.
It was about the end of high school days, and a boy from our school started making friendship with her.At first they were totally new to each other. But just after one week,when I was trying to talk to her the boy came to her and said "I want to tell u something", she said after a long pause and a long stare,"No need to say anything, I know what r u going to say,that u love me, I understand your feelings,and I love u too.", all these things happened in front of me and I couldn't speak even a single word just because I didn't want her to be unhappy.I smiled with tears. The boy asked me what happened. I said " oh nothing", turned back and went away.I was **** sure that she would call me and ask me what happened suddenly, but she didn't, when I turned back they were lost in talking to each other. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried.................I lost interest in everything.I was like a dead body, couldn't eat, couldnt sleep. I decided to seek for help. I told my story to a few of my friends, and I was shocked. Some of them said "You deserve this..." I still cant believe why did they say like this. One of said,"U behave like a kid, how can u expect a girl like her?". some said, "be mature, u dont deserve her, how could u even think of that, look at urself, what do u have in urself??"...It clearly showed that I had done something wrong. I tried a lot to find the reason,I couldn't find it. No one was there to listen to me except a girl.She was my friend and my <3's friend too. I told her what happened. She said that "U may be right, but its too late."
High schools ended. During the long vacation I tried to recover from the thing and I decided to be confident, mature and happy from the begining of the college days. I got admission in another town.New people, new life. I tried to involve with them, but same things started to happen there.No one would call me for hangouts, they literally ignored me. Now I lost my temper. I asked one of them, whats their problem,why is the world behaving with me like this, he said "U r not like us, u r differernt, and u aren't meant to be like us."....I was just broken. I couldn't understand why was it happening.WHAT WAS THE CAUSE OF THIS???About 1 year is over in college, I still haven't forgotten my <3, my friends and all.Once when I went to my hometown, I called that friend and we met and had a chat. I asked her about my <3. She said "its better 4 u to forget her.She is happy with that guy.Once I asked her about u, she replied that he is a dumbo, idiot and has no maturity."....I was schocked,asked her why did she say like this, she said,"Look, everyone is different, u are not like her, I clearly tell u that u dont have the qualities to make her happy, so pl forget her.I dont like when u keep on asking about her." I dont have words to express how I felt that time.I cried days and nights.That was not all, even my parents did the same way.I couldn't tell these things to tnem.But when I told my mother about how people hate me, she said, "whatever u get, is the result of whatever u give, may be u have done something wrong that they didn't like, or might have hurt someone.Don't be afraid of me, come on tell me if u have done something like that.I won't tell u anything.Take ur time, i m not forcing u, u can tell me when u wish to."...............Not again..Even my mother???!!!!!!Even she didn't trust me..
Why couldnt anyone understand me.Where was I wrong.I lost my love(i know many of u would say that its not love, its just attraction, but for me,she was THE ONE.) I lost my friends, they ignore me when I ask them to meet when I come home.They say they are busy, or they dont reply, some of them ask why do u want to meet, etc..
Thats what my life is like.People hate me, ignore me, my first love went away without knowing how much I loved her.I miss her a lot.I care for her a lot.I want love and trust from my parents, friends and people around me. I just sit in my room all day and cry.I tried to get new friends, but I couldn't get one.Am I so bad? Am I so ugly? Am I so cruel? Am I so dumb?
Why this happened only with me? I know I have no qualities, no specialities.I know I cannot make someone happy. I know I am not special, and I don't even want to be.I just want to be like normal people.I want to get love from my parents, friends. I want my <3 to miss me, to realize that I loved her.I want my friends to miss me.I don't know what to do......
It was about the end of high school days, and a boy from our school started making friendship with her.At first they were totally new to each other. But just after one week,when I was trying to talk to her the boy came to her and said "I want to tell u something", she said after a long pause and a long stare,"No need to say anything, I know what r u going to say,that u love me, I understand your feelings,and I love u too.", all these things happened in front of me and I couldn't speak even a single word just because I didn't want her to be unhappy.I smiled with tears. The boy asked me what happened. I said " oh nothing", turned back and went away.I was **** sure that she would call me and ask me what happened suddenly, but she didn't, when I turned back they were lost in talking to each other. I cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried and cried.................I lost interest in everything.I was like a dead body, couldn't eat, couldnt sleep. I decided to seek for help. I told my story to a few of my friends, and I was shocked. Some of them said "You deserve this..." I still cant believe why did they say like this. One of said,"U behave like a kid, how can u expect a girl like her?". some said, "be mature, u dont deserve her, how could u even think of that, look at urself, what do u have in urself??"...It clearly showed that I had done something wrong. I tried a lot to find the reason,I couldn't find it. No one was there to listen to me except a girl.She was my friend and my <3's friend too. I told her what happened. She said that "U may be right, but its too late."
High schools ended. During the long vacation I tried to recover from the thing and I decided to be confident, mature and happy from the begining of the college days. I got admission in another town.New people, new life. I tried to involve with them, but same things started to happen there.No one would call me for hangouts, they literally ignored me. Now I lost my temper. I asked one of them, whats their problem,why is the world behaving with me like this, he said "U r not like us, u r differernt, and u aren't meant to be like us."....I was just broken. I couldn't understand why was it happening.WHAT WAS THE CAUSE OF THIS???About 1 year is over in college, I still haven't forgotten my <3, my friends and all.Once when I went to my hometown, I called that friend and we met and had a chat. I asked her about my <3. She said "its better 4 u to forget her.She is happy with that guy.Once I asked her about u, she replied that he is a dumbo, idiot and has no maturity."....I was schocked,asked her why did she say like this, she said,"Look, everyone is different, u are not like her, I clearly tell u that u dont have the qualities to make her happy, so pl forget her.I dont like when u keep on asking about her." I dont have words to express how I felt that time.I cried days and nights.That was not all, even my parents did the same way.I couldn't tell these things to tnem.But when I told my mother about how people hate me, she said, "whatever u get, is the result of whatever u give, may be u have done something wrong that they didn't like, or might have hurt someone.Don't be afraid of me, come on tell me if u have done something like that.I won't tell u anything.Take ur time, i m not forcing u, u can tell me when u wish to."...............Not again..Even my mother???!!!!!!Even she didn't trust me..
Why couldnt anyone understand me.Where was I wrong.I lost my love(i know many of u would say that its not love, its just attraction, but for me,she was THE ONE.) I lost my friends, they ignore me when I ask them to meet when I come home.They say they are busy, or they dont reply, some of them ask why do u want to meet, etc..
Thats what my life is like.People hate me, ignore me, my first love went away without knowing how much I loved her.I miss her a lot.I care for her a lot.I want love and trust from my parents, friends and people around me. I just sit in my room all day and cry.I tried to get new friends, but I couldn't get one.Am I so bad? Am I so ugly? Am I so cruel? Am I so dumb?
Why this happened only with me? I know I have no qualities, no specialities.I know I cannot make someone happy. I know I am not special, and I don't even want to be.I just want to be like normal people.I want to get love from my parents, friends. I want my <3 to miss me, to realize that I loved her.I want my friends to miss me.I don't know what to do......
jaguarundi
Well-known member
Oh you poor baby
There is a lot in your post, and I am sure that you will get a lot of advice from the forum. Just for now I am thinking you need a hug, and for someone to tell you it will be alright, even if right now it doesn't seem that way. So consider it done, and hold on.
Loving someone who does not return that love is terribly painful, at any age. But at least it shows that you have the capacity to love, and an open heart. Those truly are things worth having.
There is a lot in your post, and I am sure that you will get a lot of advice from the forum. Just for now I am thinking you need a hug, and for someone to tell you it will be alright, even if right now it doesn't seem that way. So consider it done, and hold on.Loving someone who does not return that love is terribly painful, at any age. But at least it shows that you have the capacity to love, and an open heart. Those truly are things worth having.
Bebeskii
Well-known member
What a great guy. Reading your post instantly makes wanna hug you. Today I cried because of my loneliness and studies issues. I'm 17 and I cry more often than other guys; you are not the only one. Please do not call yourself idiot,dumb or ugly. There are plenty of people who would love you from the bottom of their heart in this world. I hope you would find one of them soon.
I have never dated before. I'm sorry that I could not give you any advice to make that girl love you. It seems she is not gonna love you for now. I'm afraid you have no choice to forget that girl. I know it hurts your feelings so much especially there is no one to understand your feelings and get connected to you.
I'm glad you have a friend to talk to. I think every guy needs a female confidant : it seems you already have one which is a good thing. Adults have sometimes no idea how it feels inside, that pain, that hollowness, that frustration and that despair. Most friends look for entertainment and fun when they meet. Guy friendship is kind of weak. I mean it is really based on activities rather sharing emotions. Guys are not connected to each other on a more emotional level so they can say something cruel or dumb things to you. Don't care about what your friends say like you deserve or you should grow up. That clearly means they are not your true friends. The life will get better if you choose it to be better.
You know what, there is only one way you can make that girl love you. If your love for her never cools down, you should study very hard and exercise everyday in the gym and get excellent in many things such as swimming, arts, dancing or even singing. Get a brilliant job with high salary, buy expensive clothes, change your hairstyle, get more muscular. You have to put much effort into it. And then someday just come to the girl and say hello. Tell her how successful you are doing ( how better man you are than a guy she chose ). She will definitely regret for treating you poorly. That is your ultimate goal. Who knows if you find a billion percent better girl who is like a little sweet angel. I wish i had you as my friend. Please eat healthily and sleep enough. I'm counting on you.
I have never dated before. I'm sorry that I could not give you any advice to make that girl love you. It seems she is not gonna love you for now. I'm afraid you have no choice to forget that girl. I know it hurts your feelings so much especially there is no one to understand your feelings and get connected to you.
I'm glad you have a friend to talk to. I think every guy needs a female confidant : it seems you already have one which is a good thing. Adults have sometimes no idea how it feels inside, that pain, that hollowness, that frustration and that despair. Most friends look for entertainment and fun when they meet. Guy friendship is kind of weak. I mean it is really based on activities rather sharing emotions. Guys are not connected to each other on a more emotional level so they can say something cruel or dumb things to you. Don't care about what your friends say like you deserve or you should grow up. That clearly means they are not your true friends. The life will get better if you choose it to be better.
You know what, there is only one way you can make that girl love you. If your love for her never cools down, you should study very hard and exercise everyday in the gym and get excellent in many things such as swimming, arts, dancing or even singing. Get a brilliant job with high salary, buy expensive clothes, change your hairstyle, get more muscular. You have to put much effort into it. And then someday just come to the girl and say hello. Tell her how successful you are doing ( how better man you are than a guy she chose ). She will definitely regret for treating you poorly. That is your ultimate goal. Who knows if you find a billion percent better girl who is like a little sweet angel. I wish i had you as my friend. Please eat healthily and sleep enough. I'm counting on you.
Two things I will point out: You are 18 And, you just survived highschool... As crappy as it was, you made it through!!
You said a few things that seem off to me: That you lack smarts, that you are ugly, and that you are uninteresting.
Firstly, I'm far from smart. I can't do math, unless it is basic stuff. I've been pretty much beaten down all my life because of my inability to exceed. Ugliness really doesn't exist IMHO. It's a sharp word used by others to maul confidence and self-image. Unfortunately, highschool is a ***** for that. Actually school in general for some of us (like me!) really brought about that foul word.
Uninteresting? Not everyone gets along; it's a fact. But another fact is that a lot of people replied... A lot of sat down and have read your entire post top to bottom to understand YOU and your troubles.
As for the situation at hand... I am sorry you were treated like that. Sorry you had to bear your heart out, or at least try, only to not be seen. I can tell you it is never easy to forget or give up on someone you care for so deeply (and that immense special care right there shows you are NOT stupid, and definitely not ugly). Sometimes though, you have to let people go... Even when it hurts the most.
As mentioned above, don't let yourself slide. Don't let other people win by letting them trample you down... You get yourself back up, dust yourself off, and just DO your best, instead of trying. The better the person you become, the better you will feel. Accept yourself for who you are... Not for what others expect of you.
And, you just survived highschool... As crappy as it was, you made it through!!You said a few things that seem off to me: That you lack smarts, that you are ugly, and that you are uninteresting.
Firstly, I'm far from smart. I can't do math, unless it is basic stuff. I've been pretty much beaten down all my life because of my inability to exceed. Ugliness really doesn't exist IMHO. It's a sharp word used by others to maul confidence and self-image. Unfortunately, highschool is a ***** for that. Actually school in general for some of us (like me!) really brought about that foul word.
Uninteresting? Not everyone gets along; it's a fact. But another fact is that a lot of people replied... A lot of sat down and have read your entire post top to bottom to understand YOU and your troubles.
As for the situation at hand... I am sorry you were treated like that. Sorry you had to bear your heart out, or at least try, only to not be seen. I can tell you it is never easy to forget or give up on someone you care for so deeply (and that immense special care right there shows you are NOT stupid, and definitely not ugly). Sometimes though, you have to let people go... Even when it hurts the most.
As mentioned above, don't let yourself slide. Don't let other people win by letting them trample you down... You get yourself back up, dust yourself off, and just DO your best, instead of trying. The better the person you become, the better you will feel. Accept yourself for who you are... Not for what others expect of you.
W
WallflowerGirl83
Guest
Feel free to share you're story with us. Were here and willing on listening to you. Trust me I feel quite lonely sometimes too and other days it's very hard to get through the day sometimes. At the moment I'm seeing a therapist and it's really helping me express my feelings a lot. Feel free to send me a message if you'd ever like to talk or anything. ~hug~
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
"You know what, there is only one way you can make that girl love you. If your love for her never cools down, you should study very hard and exercise everyday in the gym and get excellent in many things such as swimming, arts, dancing or even singing. Get a brilliant job with high salary, buy expensive clothes, change your hairstyle, get more muscular. You have to put much effort into it. And then someday just come to the girl and say hello. Tell her how successful you are doing ( how better man you are than a guy she chose ). She will definitely regret for treating you poorly. That is your ultimate goal. Who knows if you find a billion percent better girl who is like a little sweet angel. Please eat healthily and sleep enough."
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Great idea, I think I should show her what I can do.And to her boyfriend that he is nothing in front of me, but the thing is, that I really care for her, I don't want to prove anything to her.I am fine if she is happy.The worst thing was that she couldn't understand my love...
And I would be glad to be friend with you.....
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Great idea, I think I should show her what I can do.And to her boyfriend that he is nothing in front of me, but the thing is, that I really care for her, I don't want to prove anything to her.I am fine if she is happy.The worst thing was that she couldn't understand my love...
And I would be glad to be friend with you.....
hi
disappointments are a part of life. She was not meant for you
better to find out sooner.
you are trying too hard to please her. When that happens, they lose interesp.
you have to play hard to get, that attracts them.
one day you will meet someone else, so learn from your mistakes and dont try to please them.
wait and stay cool or this one may do the same thing.
learn from this experience, that is important.
you are young, you will be okay.
louise
disappointments are a part of life. She was not meant for you
better to find out sooner.
you are trying too hard to please her. When that happens, they lose interesp.
you have to play hard to get, that attracts them.
one day you will meet someone else, so learn from your mistakes and dont try to please them.
wait and stay cool or this one may do the same thing.
learn from this experience, that is important.
you are young, you will be okay.
louise
LeilaniAWarrior
Active member
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EveWasFramed said:
Hello, Thank you for sharing your story and I know it was very hard to do so. I have also faced rejection in my life in which I would say hi to my friends and they would walk right pass me like they didnt even know me. I can say that you can do way better, you will find someone in your life that loves you just the way you are and if they don't well that's just there lost. In the end they will see that they made a huge mistake. You seem like a really nice guy and try to focus on the beauty that is within you <3 and not the physical appearance. Get alot of rest, eat healthy and exercise that may help boost up your self esteem. There are many girls looking for a guy who is kind and knows what real love is like you do.
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
Thanks, it helped me a lot......
M_also_lonely
Well-known member
Thanks, what you said was correct.I got a lot of help here.At least now I can stand up and move.Thanks a lot.......
