Solivagant
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^ That sounds like a question for the men. 
Questions for the Women
- Thread starter Naleena
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Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Xpendable said:
Because women are either too shy or don't trust men to be truthful or we just gather round each other and come to our own conclusions because we are clearly smarter than men (
jk).Who knows, it is what it is. But really, there might not be more questions, women just tend to talk more sometimes. (also, the men answer the women questions a lot too. lol)
ardour
Well known loser
so how come there are over 30% more pages on the 'questions for women' thread, than 'questions for men'?
A
AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Size doesn't matter
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I have a question for the women.
Can you become attracted to a man who doesn't act dominant?
When I'm talking to a woman that I'd like to date I talk with her pretty similarly to how I'd talk to anyone else. I talk about the things we like and I ask them about their thoughts and interests and I act in a way where I am just trying to have a good time with them. I guess you could say I come off as friendly.
I am trying to learn to be more competent and decisive in my life and have more self-confidence. But I don't think I will want to learn to become a really loud, overbearing kind of guy that just tells you what you're going to do and how it's going to be. I also don't like to argue with people unnecessarily, and am willing to back down or not escalate things that I feel don't really matter. I have tried to control my temper over the years by asking myself if something is really worth fighting over, and trying to really limit the things that I feel are worth arguing about. I feel like a lot of people waste time and ruin good days by arguing about things that aren't really important.
I also don't mind asking other people what they like to do, and more often than not I don't know of good places to go or events to do outside of the home. It's not that I'm indecisive even, it's that I don't know what's out there because I don't go out a lot. Even if I had money, I like to just stay around my house, go for a long walk or bike ride, or go to a friend's house.
But I worry that because I don't know of anywhere to go and am open to suggestion, because I try to avoid conflict, and because I act friendly instead of bossy, women will think I have a wimpy personality. Honestly I get so confused at times - I don't want to have to change myself into a backwards, 1950s style guy that bosses women around. But once a woman starts thinking you are wimpy, that's when the "I think of you as a brother" stuff starts to happen.
Do women actually like it when guys are like, "we're going to go here. We're going to do this"? And does it make them go cold when you're just happy to talk to them or spend time with them and you don't particularly have an opinion where you go or what you are doing?
Is there any way to get a woman interested in you without acting domineering?
Can you become attracted to a man who doesn't act dominant?
When I'm talking to a woman that I'd like to date I talk with her pretty similarly to how I'd talk to anyone else. I talk about the things we like and I ask them about their thoughts and interests and I act in a way where I am just trying to have a good time with them. I guess you could say I come off as friendly.
I am trying to learn to be more competent and decisive in my life and have more self-confidence. But I don't think I will want to learn to become a really loud, overbearing kind of guy that just tells you what you're going to do and how it's going to be. I also don't like to argue with people unnecessarily, and am willing to back down or not escalate things that I feel don't really matter. I have tried to control my temper over the years by asking myself if something is really worth fighting over, and trying to really limit the things that I feel are worth arguing about. I feel like a lot of people waste time and ruin good days by arguing about things that aren't really important.
I also don't mind asking other people what they like to do, and more often than not I don't know of good places to go or events to do outside of the home. It's not that I'm indecisive even, it's that I don't know what's out there because I don't go out a lot. Even if I had money, I like to just stay around my house, go for a long walk or bike ride, or go to a friend's house.
But I worry that because I don't know of anywhere to go and am open to suggestion, because I try to avoid conflict, and because I act friendly instead of bossy, women will think I have a wimpy personality. Honestly I get so confused at times - I don't want to have to change myself into a backwards, 1950s style guy that bosses women around. But once a woman starts thinking you are wimpy, that's when the "I think of you as a brother" stuff starts to happen.
Do women actually like it when guys are like, "we're going to go here. We're going to do this"? And does it make them go cold when you're just happy to talk to them or spend time with them and you don't particularly have an opinion where you go or what you are doing?
Is there any way to get a woman interested in you without acting domineering?
Depends on what kind of personality you're looking for,everyone is different and like different things. Me personally,I have dated men who have been dominant and men who have been more submissive,I have found that I would prefer a man who is somewhere in between. I don't like men who are too submissive because I want a man who has his own opinions on things and doesn't just go with what I want to make me happy,I like to be challenged. On the other hand I don't want a man who is too dominant,because dominant to me is controlling and from past experience it made me feel like crap. I would rather have someone who listened to my opinions and had mutual respect and who I had something in common with.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Serephina said:
I have to agree with this.
A
AmytheTemperamental
Guest
Skafish
First of all, if that is how you are to women, you sound incredibly considerate. Which I find to be a very attractive quality in men. That genuine wanting to get to know someone is something I personally look for.
Good on you for improving yourself and your temper. I can say that I spent years arguing with some guy, for the hopes of getting the good days back. It really is a waste of time. But this is something we can fix in ourselves, and not tolerate from others. Kudos to you
I have only recently learned to say what I want. I am very much that pushover girl that will be like "wherever you want to go". Now that I am more comfortable with it, I would prefer to split those decisions. If I feel someone is genuine and really wanting to know me, it makes it a lot easier to throw out suggestions. I wouldn't want someone who made all the decisions, all the time. Or not even ask for my input.
Now, I like a sexy dominance (which I am not going to get into). I could never handle a man who said "I will order us this" or "I will take us here". Funny enough, I have had men try to get me to be that way with them, so they can skip having input. Make the decisions with me, or take turns, but I would never want one person to be making all those choices.
Stay true to who you are. You sound very considerate. And that is a very attractive quality
First of all, if that is how you are to women, you sound incredibly considerate. Which I find to be a very attractive quality in men. That genuine wanting to get to know someone is something I personally look for.
Good on you for improving yourself and your temper. I can say that I spent years arguing with some guy, for the hopes of getting the good days back. It really is a waste of time. But this is something we can fix in ourselves, and not tolerate from others. Kudos to you
I have only recently learned to say what I want. I am very much that pushover girl that will be like "wherever you want to go". Now that I am more comfortable with it, I would prefer to split those decisions. If I feel someone is genuine and really wanting to know me, it makes it a lot easier to throw out suggestions. I wouldn't want someone who made all the decisions, all the time. Or not even ask for my input.
Now, I like a sexy dominance (which I am not going to get into). I could never handle a man who said "I will order us this" or "I will take us here". Funny enough, I have had men try to get me to be that way with them, so they can skip having input. Make the decisions with me, or take turns, but I would never want one person to be making all those choices.
Stay true to who you are. You sound very considerate. And that is a very attractive quality
Sometimes
Well-known member
@skafish - I love the word "let's". I really like a man who knows what he'd like to go do, and is willing to say it, and once doing it is able to enjoy it. I cannot stand a man who tells *me* what I want to do, what to do, what I will do.
So it could go like this:
Man: I'd really like to take a bike ride today. Let's get the bikes out. Problem is, I don't know exactly where I want to go.
Me: What about if we ride down to the beach, and see what happens along the way?
Man: Too many cars, too much noise, does my head in. What about that little pine forest with the dirt tracks?
Me: Sure - then when we've earned it we can go for affogatos!
or even this:
Man: Let's get this goddam house clean!
Me: OK, I'll get the cleaning stuff. You choose the loud rockin' music.
I love love love that word "let's" and I almost never hear it.
So it could go like this:
Man: I'd really like to take a bike ride today. Let's get the bikes out. Problem is, I don't know exactly where I want to go.
Me: What about if we ride down to the beach, and see what happens along the way?
Man: Too many cars, too much noise, does my head in. What about that little pine forest with the dirt tracks?
Me: Sure - then when we've earned it we can go for affogatos!
or even this:
Man: Let's get this goddam house clean!
Me: OK, I'll get the cleaning stuff. You choose the loud rockin' music.
I love love love that word "let's" and I almost never hear it.
TheSkaFish,
I think it really depends on the personality of the person in question and what she prefers.
I don't like a person who's controlling but I don't consider suggesting a place as controlling, I take it as interested. It could even be a suggestion.
I think even if you love being in the house, and I know that about you, i'd appreciate the effort you made in trying to look for a place to go or something to do.
I also really appreciate people who don't like to argue over unnecessary things. I do not, however, like a guy who agrees with me all the time, even when i'm obviously very wrong.
That's just me.
I think it really depends on the personality of the person in question and what she prefers.
I don't like a person who's controlling but I don't consider suggesting a place as controlling, I take it as interested. It could even be a suggestion.
I think even if you love being in the house, and I know that about you, i'd appreciate the effort you made in trying to look for a place to go or something to do.
I also really appreciate people who don't like to argue over unnecessary things. I do not, however, like a guy who agrees with me all the time, even when i'm obviously very wrong.
That's just me.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
TheSkaFish said:
Uhh... You do know that not every woman likes an alpha, dominant man, right? The fact that you think that is probably more of an issue. Like I've been telling you for I don't even know how long now - It's the mentality of it all.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
That doesn't mean there's not a person who doesn't find that attractive. Just because you don't encounter it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
VanillaCreme said:
I'm not talking about what I think.
http://www.mentalhealthy.co.uk/addi...why-we-can-be-attracted-to-dangerous-sex.html
https://lesacreduprintemps19.files....-approach-to-understanding-the-dark-triad.pdf
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/psychology-uncovers-sex-appeal-dark-personalities/
user 115627
It's all so tiresome.
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Xpendable said:
And two of the articles agree that those seeking long-term stability turn away from the bad guys (and also girls) sooner or later...why not take some comfort in that?
Ask yourself what you are looking for. Hypothetically speaking, you could attempt to act all dominating and bad but who do you think you are going to attract with that behavior? A temporary thrill-seeker or a significant other who strives for comfort and consistency?
PS: **** it, I know I'm not a woman...but these articles are not gender-specific anyway.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Xpendable said:
If it's not what you think, then why did you put it in your perspective? I don't care about links. Links aren't evidence that it always happens, because it doesn't. I've never seen Australia, but it's there. Just because I've never seen it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Skid Row 89
Well-known member
I've a question which I've been meaning to ask for a while now:
Would the fact that a man might be slightly boring put you off dating him even if you were attracted to his looks and personality?
I think this has been my major pitfall a few times in the past when it comes to attracting women. I'm just not very dynamic but it's not in my nature to be that way I suppose.
Would the fact that a man might be slightly boring put you off dating him even if you were attracted to his looks and personality?
I think this has been my major pitfall a few times in the past when it comes to attracting women. I'm just not very dynamic but it's not in my nature to be that way I suppose.
ladyforsaken
Well-known member
Skid Row 89 said:
It wouldn't put me off, and it didn't. I'd find ways to get him involved in things to do that I could think for myself. I wouldn't expect him to be dynamic or creative or anything like that if he isn't. If I'm interested in someone, I'm interested in them for the way they are. Unless he always doesn't want to get involved.. then that's a whole different thing altogether.
