Same old story...

[Frankophwn]

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm 24, I've never been in a relationship. I wouldn't even know how to ask someone out. I'm tired of hearing everyone I know talking about their own relationships, or joking about "getting some". It's gotten to the point where kids younger than me have more experience than me. I do have a full time job, and I am putting money away to eventually move out of my parents house. I just feel invisible to the oppposite sex. The few people I have talked to this about all tell me the same thing, "wait for the right person". But I'm kind of a skeptic when it comes to the idea of a soul mate or "the special someone". What if there isn't a perfect match? I feel like I'm wasting my youth. In fact, I'm kind of in love with this girl. But she has a boyfriend, and they've been together for a while. The kind of couple that will probably get married, the question just hasn't been asked yet. I've noticed that I have a pattern for fixing my adoration to innapropriate people. Part of me loves to torure myself by starting these benign flirtatious conversation with this girl, because in the back of my head I know it's never going to go anywhere. I'm scared to give people the chance to like me. How can I learn to take rejection in a healthy way, and start persuing appropriate relationships?

 

[Garbageman]

Hi Frankophwn,
Well I wouldn't "just wait for the right person." I don't believe there is a soulmate for everyone I don't doubt that some people have one I just don't believe it works that way for all. Anyway I would not wait, I would actively search, by getting out and meeting people. As long as you are searching or actively doing something I wouldn't feel like you are wasting your youth.

I would try not to view it as rejection, just incompatibility, or a difference in taste. I like to think of people as food, some people are a food that a lot of people like, and others are unique foods that not so many people like. Its not bad its just what it is. But the people that like whatever food you are will absolutely love you. You just have to find them, and depending on the food determines how difficult that will be. This whole food analogy may sound stupid but I like to think that it helps. Just get yourself out there and try to meet lots of people.

As far as you fixing your adoration to inappropriate people, as it seems you already know is a recipe for disaster. I would do my best to avoid that.

Anyway hope there is something here that helps, even if its just my welcome to you. Take care

 

[African_weasel]

I like to think of people as food, some people are a food that a lot of people like, and others are unique foods that not so many people like. Its not bad its just what it is. But the people that like whatever food you are will absolutely love you. You just have to find them, and depending on the food determines how difficult that will be. This whole food analogy may sound stupid but I like to think that it helps. Just get yourself out there and try to meet lots of people.

As far as you fixing your adoration to inappropriate people, as it seems you already know is a recipe for disaster. I would do my best to avoid that.

Anyway hope there is something here that helps, even if its just my welcome to you. Take care

yum. The key to a women's heart is through her stomach. That's my experience.

 

[diamondintherough]

I know life can seem to suck but things will get better I can assure. What you need to do is actively go out and search for a partner because there is little that sitting around can do to help the situation. You feel like this is impossible for you but you know what , you need to have an 'actually i can attitude' . Nothing is impossible and what is the worst that can happen- someone will turn you down? No big deal, you will find someone and by trying you are getting closer to find someone special. If it really gets bad there are always blind date meetings, dating wesbites etc. So never give up. I wish you the best of luck