Shy or Not Interested

[AFrozenSoul]

So I have been recently trying to start a relationship with a new girl. However, she has been VERY fire and ice with me. There are times when we talk every day and there are times where she pretends I do not exist. She tells me that she wants to hang out with me. However, she flakes out, because she cannot get a car. I offer to give her a ride and she does not openly accept.

I know I made a few mistakes in the beginning of our relationship. I told her about my recently broken heart. I also told her that I wanted to hug her while she was missing cloths. So I know those set me back. However, in the end she still seems to want to see me.

When we hang out things are kind of quiet and awkward. We hung out this weekend, we watched anime. So much like our movie date we did not talk all that much. We focused on the anime. I would strike up other conversation points between the series. However, it is not like I engaged her in a conversation.

So I do not know what to think. At times it feels like we are very nervous and intimidated by each other because we like each other so much. Other times it just feels like I am living a lie.

Can anyone please advise me? She is really nice and I would like to build something with her.

 

[Buzzer]

You will never be happy with a girl like this she doesn't respect you she is using you for when she got nothing else to do tell her you can do better and want a girl who actually acts interested you never know it might snap her out of it

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Buzzer: I forgot to mention that I cannot tell if a female is interested in general. Basically she has to jump my bone for me to even think she is interested... part of my low self-esteem.

 

[VanillaCreme]

"Jumping your bone" doesn't mean she's really interested either. Using people for sex is a common thing now days. That doesn't mean the person wants to build a relationship.

I'd just say ask. Can't hurt to ask.

 

[drifter]

Just be yourself pfffff

To start a relationship, you need to make of her a good friend. That's the only way..

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@VanillaCreme: The rate at which the bone is jumped is also something to consider.

I guess I could ask... however I wonder if that would kill her interest?

@drifter: Hard to tell if she even wants to be my friend at times.

 

[Badjedidude]

I guess I could ask... however I wonder if that would kill her interest?

You're never going to get anywhere if you second-guess yourself all the time. Just go for it and ask. If it DOES kill her interest, then just be a man and take your lumps when you must.

Playing it safe and over-thinking gets you nowhere with women.

 

[VanillaCreme]

@VanillaCreme: The rate at which the bone is jumped is also something to consider.

I guess I could ask... however I wonder if that would kill her interest?

@drifter: Hard to tell if she even wants to be my friend at times.

I wouldn't think the rate matters. If you're using someone, you're using them. Period. Doesn't matter how fast or slow.

And it would kill her interest if her interests were not real. Maybe I'm old fashion, but I don't think real feelings like that just disappear up into thin air. I wouldn't think asking her that would dissolve them either.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@Badjedidude: I guess right now I want to make sure I do things right. Plus she likes to use the answer "we'll see". You are right though a weak-minded person like myself is just not going to get anywhere.

@VanillaCreme: I have been told the best way to handle things is to let things happen forcing them won't make it work. I am just looking for subtle clues is all.

 

[VanillaCreme]

@Badjedidude: I guess right now I want to make sure I do things right. Plus she likes to use the answer "we'll see". You are right though a weak-minded person like myself is just not going to get anywhere.

@VanillaCreme: I have been told the best way to handle things is to let things happen forcing them won't make it work. I am just looking for subtle clues is all.

I say that's the best way as well. If it happens, then so be it. If not, then it's okay too. Still, if you're not completely sure after a while, just ask.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

@VanillaCreme: Thus comes the question of how long is a while?