Slowly breaking the cycle of loneliness

[FGRcat2CN]

After the epic bout of holiday-induced depression (and with all that come with it, especially loneliness) I had this year (one of my worst ever), I made it a new year's resolution to get out and meet people. Usually I have these episodes but when I feel better, I go back into old patterns. But something has happened this year that's different: I'm sick of being lonely. Now I know that resolutions often fail, and I'm trying to be realistic about what I can accomplish. To that end, I have or will attend several gatherings of like-minded people this month, both for discussions (about our common afflictions) and for fun. It may not be much, but the simple act of getting out of the house, meeting new people and trying something new helps build confidence to hopefully help me overcome my loneliness, depression, shyness, etc. For me these are huge steps in the right direction. It will take a bit of work over a long period of time, but if I can do it, you all can too.

 

[Bokkom]

Hi, I can relate... just yesterday I decided that I will say yes. All my life I've been saying yes to everyone to everything - was always on the ready - even when I couldn't really. 18 months ago I decided to start saying no.... oh how that backfired. I went from the one extreme to the opposite. I decided that I will find the balance this year. Starting by saying yes to a cup of coffee with a friend...., saying yes to going by myself for a cup of coffee, and I joined this site yesterday - and yes I also thought that it was crazy to start that way, but I have been feeling a little better the last 2 days... (fyi - it got bad with me, I didn't even wanted to open my curtains during the day)

I wish you well and keep me posted about your progress!!!

 

[Lefty Lonely]

Sounds great . I wish there was more opportunity in my area to have such gatherings. Keep us posted on how yours make out.

 

[SA_hopeful]

Hi guys. Was great reading about these steps you are taking. How is it going? Any feedback / progress?

 

[aspalas]

Nice! Being lonely only makes things worse. Being with friends or other people is always enjoyable, I usually forget about my problems when I'm with friends/colleagues. Meeting people is a great way to have something to look forward to and keep you busy.

 

[FGRcat2CN]

It's been going well, thanks for asking. Each week I do something that involves hanging around and meeting other people (esp. through Meetup -- an unbelievable resource). I always make sure to shake hands, look them in the eye and have something to say besides "nice to meet you". It's not easy, and I'm far from out of the woods. I still have my days of loneliness and depression (such as on Valentine's Day . But each time, my confidence improves and that extends to other areas of my life as well. And best of all, I'm not so lonely.

I live in a major metro area. If you live in a smaller town, there are things to do and people to meet. It may take a bit more work, and you'll have to look harder, but I bet you'll find something before too long. Especially these days, I think more folks are looking for actual human connections than we may realize. Good luck.

 

[omarlittle]

Great news. I've also been looking into using Meetup.com. I've heard its a great way to meet new friends and just get out there.

I'm just looking to meet new people in the area around my age. People with my same interest and who won't judge me for being the way that I am.

It's great to hear that it works for you! Of course it all starts with the willingness to actually get out there, overcome the awkwardness, and meet new people. This is something I've always had an issue with but lately I feel more comfortable in doing so.

 

[dugthecat]

Glad to see you guys are getting out meet new people and stuff.

As I always say absolutely nothing happens in the house, everything happens out side it!

Keep going!