so um a little advice would help

[hawk9007]

so recently over the past few month a old co worker and me kinda became i dont know "close" maybe im not too sure how to explain i quite you see heres the problems we both have a thing for each other thats normally not a problem the problem comes from the fact she has a boy friend, at first she told me she was a little disappointed in herself for have these kinds of feelings for me, and i told her if she was truly happy with him she wouldn't have had these feelings. so anyways we talk on a daily basis from when i wake up to when i sleep, i know i make her laugh and smile, and she often blushes when i look at her, its cute. the thing is despite how close we get shes still with that ass hole, i say ******* because he makes her cry quite a often, now she had told me before that she eventually is going to have to make a choice, i told her yes she will, the thing is i'm a little tired of waiting for that choice i know that she'd be much more happy with me i think she knows it too but the choice isn't made yet and i'm getting a little inpatient so should i tell her "its time to choose" or what because honestly we both know its coming why prolong the inevitable. what do you guys think should i try to get her to choose or should i keep waiting, i believe in "whats good now will be better later" but i'm tired of later you know. i know its a little selfish but i really dont know what else to do, i think she's just dragging her feet you know ugh so complicated some input would be nice,

 

[LGH1288]

hawk9007 -- It's time to choose. LG

 

[Brian]

Don't leave the choice entirely up to her, dude.

What you need to do, I think, is take some initiative and sweep her off her feet. Show her that on top of being great companionship and easy to talk to, you're adventurous and bold. Show her that you really want her. To hell with whatever happens with the other guy, he sounds like a tool. If you do NOT do this, she is probably going to see you as just a friend forever because you were too nervous to make your move.

I'm dating a married girl. They've been separated for a year or so, and she's trying to get a divorce, but if I had waited any longer than I did I would probably have been Friend material. Don't talk about it, just make it happen. Let it be spontaneous and fluid, as opposed to some structured contract where she agrees to leave him and then start dating you. That's not exciting to a lot of women, I don't think. She has made it very clear that she *likes* you, probably a lot. She's probably wondering why you don't do something! Excite her; it'll be the whipped cream on the sundae that is you.

I beat around the bush a fair bit before asking this girl out. She showed up at work a couple of times, and between that and the information they pried out of me, my friends were uproarious that I had not already started dating her; and she exhibited a lot of the same behaviors as this girl you talk about. Make it happen before you lose prominence in her eyes.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I agree with what Brian said, just show her why you are the guy for her. Lay it all out for her, let her know you need her to make a decision, just try to do it in a way where you don't sound like you are making a demand. That could scare her off, this isn't easy for her either. For whatever reason she's still attached to this other guy. I'd say she's better off with you then a guy who makes her cry.

 

[evanescencefan91]

*hugs hawk*

she shouldn't make you wait so long, I agree maybe you should lay it all out and and ask her to choice like now, but be prepared to deal with the consequences of whichever choice she makes, becuase there will most likely be drama no matter what she choses, if she can't make up her mind it'll be hard but you may possibly want to consider moving on

good luck man

 

[Mary Mary]

Attention whore alert.

I agree with everyone. Get her to decide now.

Let me tell you a little secret. We women love the way you men make us feel when you're trying to get into our pants. You smile at us, you say all sorts of nice things, you never judge us, you always take our side. You make great unpaid therapists. We learn when we're young that a mere smile at a man can have all sorts of emotionally rewarding results; and that can be a powerful feeling, especially for a woman who's not getting emotional validation anywhere else.

However, most of us women grow up and have consciences and realize that's not a nice way to get what we want. In fact, it's quite nasty.

You should feel insulted when someone strings you along and makes you wait. I've stopped dating men even though I didn't completely lose interest in them because I couldn't make up my mind, and I know how agonizing it can be for the other person to get strung along.

 

[LGH1288]

"We women...most of us women..."

Dear Fellow Members -- I'm a woman but please exclude me from this type of generalization because it grossly misrepresents my perspective. LG

 

[Code S.O.L]

By your description of her boyfriend, he sounds like a real asshat of a person. Most others in her position would've left ages ago, but the fact that she's still with him tells me a few things. It's possible that this guy's put the fear of god into her, or maybe she isn't that genuine about her feelings if she's stalling like this. Or maybe...... she's attempting to two-time for whatever reason.

I mean, how much do you know about the boyfriend, aside from what she's told you?

 

[A Desolate Soul]

i wouldn't have allowed a girl to string me along for that long. i once made a terrible mistake waiting for a girl and guess what? i got messed over. If i were you, i would tell her to make the choice or just move on because women like that are NOT worth it. But in a way, sort of make the choice for her (women hate choosing and love a man that can step up). like what brian said, sweep her off her feet!

 

[Brian]

Are you the love of her life yet, sir?

(Why not?)

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Try this, instead of telling her to make a choice. Just assume she has chosen him. Start to distance yourself, see what happens. If she confronts you, tell her you figured she made her choice. You have given her plenty of chances to be with you. You figured she was not interested in you. Women like a challenge, if you are just an open book... well what does she have to work for?

Often times women like to have two mates. The mate who satisfies her primal side, the mate she is currently with. And the mate who satisfies her emotional side, you. She has exactly what she needs to be happy. If she can string you along and be with this guy why not?

 

[Sterling]

This situation just doesn't sound good to me. If she really liked you more than her current boyfriend, wouldn't the "right" decision be obvious and easy? Also, if she is dating someone and stringing you along, who says she won't do that to someone else while she's dating you?

 

[AFrozenSoul]

This situation just doesn't sound good to me. If she really liked you more than her current boyfriend, wouldn't the "right" decision be obvious and easy? Also, if she is dating someone and stringing you along, who says she won't do that to someone else while she's dating you?

Another excellent argument, me personally, I want a female who is willing to chance being alone for a chance a happiness. That shows she has the strength to be alone.