Sorry internet friends, but I've been told you don't matter.

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nerdygirl said:
I strongly disagree with the concept that relationships are somehow invalid simply because they're conducted online. Perhaps it's because I've moved so many times. Perhaps it's because I've been involved with men who were in the military. Perhaps it's just my own inability to play silly mind games. When I call somebody my friend, it has nothing to do with our location. It has nothing to do with the means with which we communicate. True friendship is not about how much time you get to spend physically united. It's about coming together in your minds. Anybody who believes otherwise has no freaking clue what real friendships are, and I try not to waste my time with them.

I could not have said that better myself. Friendship is not about location at all, and be it online or in person, it's just as valuable. Recently, a good friend of mine who I grew up with and went to school with was missing for about a week and a half. When I expressed that I was worried, I was told that it shouldn't even bother me because I'm not in New Jersey anymore. My first thought was that I didn't care if I was on Pluto and she was on Mars. She's a good friend of mine, and I care about her all the same if she were sitting in a chair next to me or worlds apart.

I've had truer friendships online than I could ever say about the people that I grew up with, and I've been so fortunate to meet those people in person. So no one can even begin to tell me that online friendships don't matter.
 
HappyYogi said:
I think it's her. She flaked. Simple as that. Whether it's fear or whether she wasn't true or whatever...she flaked on you.

But don't blame yourself. Because it is her.

nerdygirl said:
I strongly disagree with the concept that relationships are somehow invalid simply because they're conducted online.

When I call somebody my friend, it has nothing to do with our location. It has nothing to do with the means with which we communicate.

VanillaCreme said:
Friendship is not about location at all, and be it online or in person, it's just as valuable.


All very well put! +100 for each of these!
 
Yah, I'm still blaming myself & from now on internet people will be as if they weren't people at all.
 
Arnaert said:
Yah, I'm still blaming myself & from now on internet people will be as if they weren't people at all.

I really wish I didn't feel the same way. Except I feel that way about all people, both online and off.

:(.
 
So you were talking to a friend about this and basically you feel that internet friends don't matter! I disagree and if I was your friend I would not have said that at all.

In my opinion I think online friendships can be just as satisfying as real life friendships. I have a few online friends. To start with we spoke all the time. We emailed and text each other. Then things started to settle down a bit and we couldn't get chatting as much as we had things going on and now I don't get to speak to them very often. I still call them my friends and I chat about them to other people when the conversation comes up. I love when I do get to speak to them but when I don't it's fine. I don't live in the pockets of my real life friends so I shouldn't need to be constantly chatting to my online friends.

In fact I actually hate that it is real life friends and online friends. They are friends no matter if they are online/offline, beside you or across the water.

You have had a bad experience with this friend and I can tell this hurt you! I feel though for you to cut the chance of ever talking online and developing a friendship with an online person again would be your loss.

Your friend might have been saying to come where she lived because she didn't think it would have actually happened. Maybe when you were in town she freaked out or was too nervous! Maybe she even had things going on and didn't feel like she would have been able to meet with you. Everyone has reasons that sometimes we just don't understand.

I'm sure you were good enough and she enjoyed speaking with you. If she didn't why would she have replied or put in the effort for you two to even become friends. I don't see how being more attractive would have helped you in this situation. I don't know your full situation but I would say this person loved the time she spent chatting to you and I'm sure you cross her mind! I'm sure she thinks about you and wishes you all the best but for whatever reason she just won't sit down and write to you! Anyone that says this girl never thinks of you or thinks about a chat you had is talking rubbish!

I would say don't rule out ever having a friendship with someone else online. I know from your post how you feel about it but seriously if you ever want to chat about this friend or about anything else... drop me a line! I like to think I'm a decent person and I do like to chat.

Sorry about the long post!
 
It's happened to me too in the past cause I'm always there for my net friends but respect them if they need space. Give her awhile to be on her own, if she doesn't reply leave it alone. I'm sure you did a lot for her. Don't beat yourself up. Message me if you'd like to talk. I'm good at listening. But it's up to you.
 
You shouldn't blame yourself for this. Attractive people have it easier to a degree, but this type of bull happens to everyone, regardless of how beautiful they are. I think it is a very rude thing to do, considering I think it's best to be upfront and honest about one's feelings rather than pulling the disappearing act and not responding. Stop messaging her and move on. She may return one day, but don't count on it.
 
nerdygirl said:
I strongly disagree with the concept that relationships are somehow invalid simply because they're conducted online. Perhaps it's because I've moved so many times. Perhaps it's because I've been involved with men who were in the military. Perhaps it's just my own inability to play silly mind games. When I call somebody my friend, it has nothing to do with our location. It has nothing to do with the means with which we communicate. True friendship is not about how much time you get to spend physically united. It's about coming together in your minds. Anybody who believes otherwise has no freaking clue what real friendships are, and I try not to waste my time with them.


I honestly couldn't agree more, i have such a connection with many people who i met online, some i would call kindred spirits and lifelong friends, and i've never even met them physically.
You either have a connection with someone or you don't, and distance has nothing to do with that.
 
i agree with the above comments as well.
infact. besides my family.. all of my friends are online.
my oldest friend online i have known for 12yrs and never had a closer friend.
infact i dont think i could have a closer friend if they lived in the same house!
im one of those guys that has a hard time being open and talking about serious issues face to face with anyone. but online friends... i have no hesitation about exposing all if my weaknesses.
i tend to make more platonic female friends, also because its not as easy for a guy to pour his heart out to another guy.. but thats another story.

the question should be... are real life friends true friends?
because theres alot of faking and superficial facades going on there as well.
i would rather talk to someones mind on the net than talk to someones less concerned face in person.
 

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