Still considering quitting my job and not working...

[LonelySutton]

So a few months back I wrote about how I was 8 weeks away from leaving my abusive boss. Within 4 weeks, I had left him, I had a new boss, AND that boss was great. Is great. And the people he selected for his work-group are great. I still am getting adjusted to things such as:

- being asked my opinion.
- being allowed to work at my pace.
- being allowed to joke with my boss and say things like, "are you messing with me?"
- being able to leave work when I so choose.
- being able to leave my desk.
- not complaining all day.
- having my boss do things a particular way because they will be easier for me.
- not haivng my co workers find mistakes of mine and run to my boss -- FIRST.
- being allowed to pick up my phone or not as I so choose.


It has been 6 months and I do fear that sort of like an abused woman, it will take months to really start to relax from the hyper vigilance. I do plan on staying for a few years just to give myself a chance to heal and also, prove my worth.

But, I find a simple, sad truth has captured my heart... working sucks. Working is wage slavery. I have been noticing lately the way "something" seems to pit all the wage slaves against themselves. When I leave my workplace at night, there is a LONG traffic jam to get out of town. The subway it is packed, too packed and people have to fight to get on. Then, the train is packed too packed,, and we have to fight to get on. I do feel like there is an elite that *could* fix this, but don't want to... probably for their own enrichment. BTW I just watched a TV show "Mr. Robot" that wrote this into the plot so, I don't feel so crazy.

I feel like I am falling behind financially. Again this year with a 1% raise. The thing is, costs are just outpacing that to insane degrees. Everything I pay for goes up substantially yearly, but not my pay. Though I do get to leave more easy these days... my transportation has become more unreliable. So I leave 1/2 hour earlier and I get home at the same time.

A weird thing too, as I got a boss who doesn't ride me, I am completely unmotivated to do much at all. It is still an odd situation where I feel like I have to be ready at all times, but then don't do anything at all. Hopefully this will go away soon. But I can't help but think about how much more joy and motivation I would get if what I was working on would reward me directly.

I am still struggling with it because if I stay a few more years, I will be just like a few years from qualifying for a pension so, it would be silly to give up then. Sometimes I wish something would happen that would push me.

I do have to take back what I said. I had thought that merit wasn't rewarded. And, it wasn't. But I think *something* happened in my workplace. I think there was a rebellion of some sort. Two people got jobs that were not qualified and they did a horrible job. And I think either a manager or someone in charge objected and there was a sea change. Suddenly people who were qualified (and couldn't get hired to save their lives) got the jobs -- good jobs -- without interviewing. I was one of them. And a lot of people said AMAZING things to me that made me think my efforts and talent was recognized. I do not understand why, when I worked for my abusive boss no one would hire me, but it is in the past now. But of course, this makes me consider leaving or getting another job because I do feel like now, I have a reasonable shot at a better job. Or, if I wanted to start my own business I could succeed because I do feel like I could...

All of these things do make it hard to get up every day to the rat race.

 

[stork_error]

So a few months back I wrote about how I was 8 weeks away from leaving my abusive boss. Within 4 weeks, I had left him, I had a new boss, AND that boss was great. Is great. And the people he selected for his work-group are great. I still am getting adjusted to things such as:

- being asked my opinion.
- being allowed to work at my pace.
- being allowed to joke with my boss and say things like, "are you messing with me?"
- being able to leave work when I so choose.
- being able to leave my desk.
- not complaining all day.
- having my boss do things a particular way because they will be easier for me.
- not haivng my co workers find mistakes of mine and run to my boss -- FIRST.
- being allowed to pick up my phone or not as I so choose.


It has been 6 months and I do fear that sort of like an abused woman, it will take months to really start to relax from the hyper vigilance. I do plan on staying for a few years just to give myself a chance to heal and also, prove my worth.

But, I find a simple, sad truth has captured my heart... working sucks. Working is wage slavery. I have been noticing lately the way "something" seems to pit all the wage slaves against themselves. When I leave my workplace at night, there is a LONG traffic jam to get out of town. The subway it is packed, too packed and people have to fight to get on. Then, the train is packed too packed,, and we have to fight to get on. I do feel like there is an elite that *could* fix this, but don't want to... probably for their own enrichment. BTW I just watched a TV show "Mr. Robot" that wrote this into the plot so, I don't feel so crazy.

I feel like I am falling behind financially. Again this year with a 1% raise. The thing is, costs are just outpacing that to insane degrees. Everything I pay for goes up substantially yearly, but not my pay. Though I do get to leave more easy these days... my transportation has become more unreliable. So I leave 1/2 hour earlier and I get home at the same time.

A weird thing too, as I got a boss who doesn't ride me, I am completely unmotivated to do much at all. It is still an odd situation where I feel like I have to be ready at all times, but then don't do anything at all. Hopefully this will go away soon. But I can't help but think about how much more joy and motivation I would get if what I was working on would reward me directly.

I am still struggling with it because if I stay a few more years, I will be just like a few years from qualifying for a pension so, it would be silly to give up then. Sometimes I wish something would happen that would push me.

I do have to take back what I said. I had thought that merit wasn't rewarded. And, it wasn't. But I think *something* happened in my workplace. I think there was a rebellion of some sort. Two people got jobs that were not qualified and they did a horrible job. And I think either a manager or someone in charge objected and there was a sea change. Suddenly people who were qualified (and couldn't get hired to save their lives) got the jobs -- good jobs -- without interviewing. I was one of them. And a lot of people said AMAZING things to me that made me think my efforts and talent was recognized. I do not understand why, when I worked for my abusive boss no one would hire me, but it is in the past now. But of course, this makes me consider leaving or getting another job because I do feel like now, I have a reasonable shot at a better job. Or, if I wanted to start my own business I could succeed because I do feel like I could...

All of these things do make it hard to get up every day to the rat race.

So funny how we are always in the same ocean tide. All I can say is I feel the same. These ******* kicked our self esteem. And though we shouldn't allow our worth to be defined by others, when those others are controlling our paycheques and our futures and the behaviours of others towards us, its hard not to. It was a constant assault, and the fact that we survived was a sheer test of our ability to endure. It will never be that bad again.. or at least I hope not.

 

[howtobealone]

I get the sense that most people are not satisfied with their jobs. I personally look for satisfaction in my life through the few interpersonal relationships that I have, but when those aren't providing me with enough support, I feel the drudgery of work so much more.

 

[Peaches]

how many years still to work before the pension? Can you retire really really early?
It IS a rat race...
But that is also because of the media brainwashing towards consumption, so we own much more than we truly need, and we get into debt etc.
Some months ago I had an enlightening experience: I decided to sell all the stuff that I had in a 2.5x1 meter closet, not expensive stuff, except for three or four items everything sold for maybe 15$ 20$ each. Can you imagine how much I raised? 1200$ (!!!)
and that was just from the stuff I never used...
Try this website
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/life-cycle-minimalist/
Not sure this has anything to do with your work issue, but it can help you feel more empowered and help you save for your future freedom

 

[LonelySutton]

how many years still to work before the pension? Can you retire really really early?

I can retire at 57, however, when they need to get rid of employees to save money they offer these "early buy outs" that allow an early retirement 55. Lately they have offered it every year. It simply saves them money. Rather than have to pay you a salary you start retirement early at a reduced rate. So in theory 55 I could retire. Since I am 45 now, and since I feel like if I make 50 it would be foolish to quit at 50. But 45 is tempting because I still qualify for some payment at 57. So even if I got into financial decline I would have a life line.

Some months ago I had an enlightening experience: I decided to sell all the stuff that I had in a 2.5x1 meter closet, not expensive stuff, except for three or four items everything sold for maybe 15$ 20$ each. Can you imagine how much I raised? 1200$ (!!!)

Oh I am all over that. Learned my lesson a few years ago I went from a 600 square foot condo to a 1200+ townhome. I feel like I don't need the space but it is too much hassle to move. Also I feel like it is an insurance policy that I could have a roommate if necessary.

One thing that stops me.. almost everything I have done for the last 10 years has turned out differently than I thought it was going to. I wonder if I have lost my ability to make good decisions OR, if I am just more hard on myself.

 

[TheSkaFish]

So a few months back I wrote about how I was 8 weeks away from leaving my abusive boss. Within 4 weeks, I had left him, I had a new boss, AND that boss was great. Is great. And the people he selected for his work-group are great.

...

But, I find a simple, sad truth has captured my heart... working sucks. Working is wage slavery. I have been noticing lately the way "something" seems to pit all the wage slaves against themselves.

...

I feel like I am falling behind financially. Again this year with a 1% raise. The thing is, costs are just outpacing that to insane degrees. Everything I pay for goes up substantially yearly, but not my pay. Though I do get to leave more easy these days... my transportation has become more unreliable. So I leave 1/2 hour earlier and I get home at the same time.

A weird thing too, as I got a boss who doesn't ride me, I am completely unmotivated to do much at all. It is still an odd situation where I feel like I have to be ready at all times, but then don't do anything at all. Hopefully this will go away soon. But I can't help but think about how much more joy and motivation I would get if what I was working on would reward me directly.
....

All of these things do make it hard to get up every day to the rat race.

Hello there Sutton. I remember your old threads where you said how your old boss made you so upset. It's good to see that you got a new boss, and are feeling happier about your new situation.

About the rest though, all I can say is that I agree fully. Working does suck, in a profound way. Especially working for other people, it really feels like they are kicking sand in your face. I remember my last job and how it made me feel overwhelmed with anger, frustration, and despair. I felt like the fact that I was in that job was proof of my lack of natural ability, skill, intelligence, creativity, or potential. I really hear you on how a bad job can really make a person feel discouraged.

And now that I've grown up and seen how much a person needs to make to be able to both pay the bills and have a life, it's even more depressing. The bills are just stupidly high. I worry that I will never make enough to overcome them and actually get to have stuff and do things, get to live a life that I like, instead of one that I have to cope with by drinking. I don't want to be a slave to the 1%. The hell with them. I can't stand feeling like I'm being domineered and getting used. I want to work for my own happiness and fulfillment. I want to feel like I belong to me.

I really empathize with you on this issue, a lot.

Have you thought about what kind of business you want to start though? Or any other non-job related ways to make money?

My friend likes this blog a lot, maybe you might find something on it:

http://www.smartpassiveincome.com/

Anyway, I hope things keep getting better for you. I hope you don't let work kill your soul and can find happiness again.

 

[lonelydoc]

For what it's worth lonelysutton I don't think our system has much longer to go. 1-5 years max. I know that sounds long, but think about it.

People think that their assets rise to infinity and that we are all going to become billionaires and live forever if only we keep working like dogs. Only the reality of a collapse will bring sanity back to the system.

I think of surviving in the meantime like this:
1) do only work that you like doing and are comfortable with
2) reduce expenses to the bone and stock up regularly so you are not always paying for things every day
4) find a few hobbies that are low cost

 

[LonelySutton]

For what it's worth lonelysutton I don't think our system has much longer to go. 1-5 years max. I know that sounds long, but think about it.

Nope, two things, if it all collapses, I am up a creek because I won't have social security / pension... so, um that would not be a good thing. Second, I just don't see it "collapsing" per se. Struggling along? Yes. More people committing crimes (stealing) just to survive? You betcha. Older people stealing from the young -- yes indeed. But I am pretty confident that the house of cards will survive until I am dead. I feel like greed is a powerful force and it needs this system to survive. So any of the myraid of threats to it will just not come to pass.

I could go out on my own and practice law but, that is a heavy sacrifice. I would lose my health insurance (be on Obama care) and pension. And there is no guarantee I would get any clients. People *think* all the time that it is a money trail but just like all the other things that are falling apart, law is collapsing. People just don't have the excess money to pay for a lawyer. I do dream of doing something like this ONCE I have retired. At that point I would have the pension and health care.

But you always wonder, will I make it to that point if I don't get out of the rat race now?