Red_Wedding_Casualty
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- Apr 14, 2014
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...Otherwise known as, 'shooting yourself in the foot.'
OK, I suppose I should give you all some context here. So, there's a girl I've had feelings for in our general social group since roughly November of last year. Before that, she was kind of 'just there', but feelings developed after actually having a proper conversation with her. Now, being the awkward, shy individual I am when it comes to expressing feelings, naturally, I decided to keep it to myself and settle on her friendship. Fast forward to recently. I was invited out by her and another friend of ours one Saturday night. At one point during the night, we all went outside so they could smoke. Myself and girl I like went back in, while the friend stayed outside to talk to some dudes. So, I danced a while with this girl, made sure my body language wasn't suggestive in ANY WAY possible. But, out of nowhere she lunges for a kiss. and we end up kind of close the rest of the night.
So, the next morning I try to bring it up in conversation. She claims at the time, she doesn't remember much of the night, so at that point, I didn't know if she actually didn't remember it, or if she was being coy and hinting at me to keep my mouth shut. In a whole week of uncertainty, my bookface activity goes through the roof. Conveniently, The Avengers happened. So I had a new meme to mask my issues with(#thankyouthanos). A week later, the girl messages me. Someone had told her what she did. We go back and forth for a while, but the TL;DR is that she truly didn't remember, and she's sorry if I got lead on. She seemed really regretful, saying at one point her drunken hookups had been victimless up until now. I played the whole conversation off as, 'no, it's fine. I'm a big boy. I will get over it.' I can't hate her or disown her friendship. She's done the right thing on her end, and doing so would be extremely petty.
Over the next week, my shitposting actually gets worse, to the point where I have people at work asking me what my damage is. I issue an apology on my bookface, but I go into a bit of a diatribe, generally discussing 'incels' and the like. In that post, I pose a question: What are we allowed to feel? We can't be angry, or else we risk walking the same path Elliot Rodger walked. We can't be sad, or else we wear out peoples patience, as they get tired of reading our crap (hell, all you get for your waterworks here is Callie telling you to harden the fresia up and get over it). And, as I've learnt this week, people will see through you being abstract about it. So, how does one express themselves safely? Are they even supposed to at all?
I haven't spoken to her since last week. Near as I can tell, I'm not blocked and unfriended. I'm quite sure I've been unfollowed or at least snoozed. She saw my meme tantrum just like everyone else did. Can't say I blame her for doing so.
OK, I suppose I should give you all some context here. So, there's a girl I've had feelings for in our general social group since roughly November of last year. Before that, she was kind of 'just there', but feelings developed after actually having a proper conversation with her. Now, being the awkward, shy individual I am when it comes to expressing feelings, naturally, I decided to keep it to myself and settle on her friendship. Fast forward to recently. I was invited out by her and another friend of ours one Saturday night. At one point during the night, we all went outside so they could smoke. Myself and girl I like went back in, while the friend stayed outside to talk to some dudes. So, I danced a while with this girl, made sure my body language wasn't suggestive in ANY WAY possible. But, out of nowhere she lunges for a kiss. and we end up kind of close the rest of the night.
So, the next morning I try to bring it up in conversation. She claims at the time, she doesn't remember much of the night, so at that point, I didn't know if she actually didn't remember it, or if she was being coy and hinting at me to keep my mouth shut. In a whole week of uncertainty, my bookface activity goes through the roof. Conveniently, The Avengers happened. So I had a new meme to mask my issues with(#thankyouthanos). A week later, the girl messages me. Someone had told her what she did. We go back and forth for a while, but the TL;DR is that she truly didn't remember, and she's sorry if I got lead on. She seemed really regretful, saying at one point her drunken hookups had been victimless up until now. I played the whole conversation off as, 'no, it's fine. I'm a big boy. I will get over it.' I can't hate her or disown her friendship. She's done the right thing on her end, and doing so would be extremely petty.
Over the next week, my shitposting actually gets worse, to the point where I have people at work asking me what my damage is. I issue an apology on my bookface, but I go into a bit of a diatribe, generally discussing 'incels' and the like. In that post, I pose a question: What are we allowed to feel? We can't be angry, or else we risk walking the same path Elliot Rodger walked. We can't be sad, or else we wear out peoples patience, as they get tired of reading our crap (hell, all you get for your waterworks here is Callie telling you to harden the fresia up and get over it). And, as I've learnt this week, people will see through you being abstract about it. So, how does one express themselves safely? Are they even supposed to at all?
I haven't spoken to her since last week. Near as I can tell, I'm not blocked and unfriended. I'm quite sure I've been unfollowed or at least snoozed. She saw my meme tantrum just like everyone else did. Can't say I blame her for doing so.