itsmylife
Well-known member
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2008
- Messages
- 227
- Reaction score
- 0
So last year was probably my worst year. Looking back now I'm actually surprised I made it through. It scares me how close I was to leaving and just how bad I got. I can remember clearly how it felt to be in that dark, dark place and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
I have had a lot of therapy and medication and I've finally pulled out of the darkness. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'm now at a place where I can look back and realise just how ill I was. It doesn't feel like that was me and my heart breaks for that girl. I've learnt a lot on my journey. Sadly not all of it is good, for example I've learnt you can never trust another person to stick by you no matter what they say.
I really do feel like I've come out the other side. Only for some reason I feel like I'm balancing. I'm terrified of going back there and all the time I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of the cliff jumping at every noise, panicking at every memory, waiting for the tiniest thing to knock me falling back into the darkness.
So I guess my question is to anyone else who has felt like this, what did you do, how did you move forward? Or am I always going to be right on the edge because even in the better times, my issues and my depression are always going to be there lurking in the background? Do I just have to learn how to keep my balance?
I have had a lot of therapy and medication and I've finally pulled out of the darkness. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I'm now at a place where I can look back and realise just how ill I was. It doesn't feel like that was me and my heart breaks for that girl. I've learnt a lot on my journey. Sadly not all of it is good, for example I've learnt you can never trust another person to stick by you no matter what they say.
I really do feel like I've come out the other side. Only for some reason I feel like I'm balancing. I'm terrified of going back there and all the time I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of the cliff jumping at every noise, panicking at every memory, waiting for the tiniest thing to knock me falling back into the darkness.
So I guess my question is to anyone else who has felt like this, what did you do, how did you move forward? Or am I always going to be right on the edge because even in the better times, my issues and my depression are always going to be there lurking in the background? Do I just have to learn how to keep my balance?