Terrible Breakup

[JHan]

I just had a terrible breakup. I was with this girl for 4 years and 8months. During these years, everything i do, i do it for her. Its like my life only revolve around her, i loses contact with many of my friends because i thought all i had to do was just to focus on her and give her the best i could give. Until recently, while I am focused in my studies in Engineering degree, a guy from her work came in between us. He is able to help her with her assignments and work, provide her with the help she needs and she likes him.

My girlfriend tell me that she had no feeling for me anymore and she wanted a breakup. It was so terrible, its like my world crash in one night and i lost all my goals in my life, i have no mood to do anything, i cant sleep i cant eat. All i wants is to remove the awkful feeling, its so painful that many times i felt like commiting suicide. The emotion is so much that i cant handle it. Thoughts of her and the guy keep coming into my mind.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Take a few deep breaths. Take some time to grieve for you loss.
Then start setting more (different) goals for yourself.
Sorry you went through all that.

 

[Regumika]

I just went through that (actually I'm still going through that), except it was marriage. So I can relate all too well...

The best thing to do is to not think about her. I don't know if you two still talk, but I believe it's even worse when she tells you that she still wants to be friends with you. Hopefully she doesn't want to be friends with you still. Way easier to be ignored than liked as a friend but not as a partner.

Otherwise, like Eve said. Just make another goal.

Yes, I have lost a lot of my interests in life. Finding new ones does help.

 

[JHan]

Yes, i still do talk to her a little but all her replies are "okay" "ya". it makes it even more painful to read. I wants to give up on her totally but i will go mad on the thought of not getting her back anymore. i dont understand, in 4 years and 8 months there is like so much memories, so much things we do together, how could she treat it like nothing and just move on. Many of the times, i wants to confront that guy but maybe its pointless, it wouldnt helps in getting her back.

 

[ladyforsaken]

JHan, I'm sorry for your break up. *hug*

Hang in there, keep strong and try to remain positive, okay? It's not easy when the break up is still pretty new and raw, but you will get through this.

 

[Gutted]

It would be easier for you to cut all ties with her. That will help you get her off your mind, which is what you need to so. All these things you've done over the years for her.. The things that might have cost you. Try to undo these things if you can. Catch up with people. Focus on work more. Every little helps.

 

[ardour]

Sorry to hear that... so she dumped you because you had to focus on your own goals for a change and another guy became more attentive/useful to her.

Well that tells you that she isn't the kind of person you probably thought she was.

Nobody should have to make their entire lives revolve around a partner in the hope they won't leave, it's living in constant fear.

At least you now know to avoid relationships where it's all about them.

 

[edamame721]

I'm really sorry, JHan. I promise you'll find someone who'll truly appreciate who for who you are. Have a good cry and then do something that will make you happy. Now you don't have to worry about making someone else feel good. Now it's your time. *hugs*

 

[Peachykeen]

Sounds like you've gone through a lot, *virtual hug*. Just from my personal experience, I find it easier to cut off all ties with that person (delete their number, etc.) because I always feel even worse when I text them and get a cold reply, so by cutting off contact it helps me move on and realise that the relationship is over.

It's certainly difficult to adjust to life when you've spent all of your time with your significant other, but I hope you can see this as an opportunity to reconnect with your friends/family and rebuild a support network around you. I know things are really tough at the moment but please stay positive and focus on all the good things you do have, and all the things that will come your way in the future. We're all here for you!

 

[JHan]

I dont really know what the third party is like. I had only seen his facebook. I wanted to protect her so much, im so scared that she will get hurt by other guy. She is the naive type of girl. I wants to be with her to offer her the wisdom, the safety, the best of anything i can give her.

My feeling is like hanging on the cliff, its so painful. I tried all methods to pull myself up but I just cant, I will think of her all the times. I hope to just let go and commit suicide but its just not time yet.

I wants to break all ties with her but yet i wants it that if that guy dont know how to cherish her, she can still come back to my support. Im not a Christian but if i can do anything to make her life great, i will do it. I will pray to Jesus to give her the wisdom, the safety, the happiness and the health.

My life is just too painful for me to bear. I know that me and her will never be back together again. I just wish for Divine power to protect her. And if that cost my life, I will just use my last breathe to say I still love her.

 

[Stonelands]

I just had a terrible breakup. I was with this girl for 4 years and 8months. During these years, everything i do, i do it for her. Its like my life only revolve around her, i loses contact with many of my friends because i thought all i had to do was just to focus on her and give her the best i could give. Until recently, while I am focused in my studies in Engineering degree, a guy from her work came in between us. He is able to help her with her assignments and work, provide her with the help she needs and she likes him.

My girlfriend tell me that she had no feeling for me anymore and she wanted a breakup. It was so terrible, its like my world crash in one night and i lost all my goals in my life, i have no mood to do anything, i cant sleep i cant eat. All i wants is to remove the awkful feeling, its so painful that many times i felt like commiting suicide. The emotion is so much that i cant handle it. Thoughts of her and the guy keep coming into my mind.

Nothing that you've said here has made this girl sound even remotely endearing. Sounds like she was sucking your whole life away and now you're free to go make something of yourself. Try and reclaim those goals that you feel you have lost and maybe try and get back in contact with some of those friends. Seriously, it sounds like you've dodged a bullet in the long run. Who wants to be with someone who just drops you as soon as it suits them without any concern?