The internet makes me hate people!

[ladysigh]

I remember my very first job after college, I was an admin in the customer service dept of a bank. All the CSRs were miserable as all they did was take phone call after phone call from irate rude customers. Somehow I got stuck indefinitely filling in for the receptionist, and I found myself in the same situation (the customer got to yell at me before I transferred them to the CSR). This was 1991, no internet for people to go to first, we'd typically take in a thousand calls a day. At lunch we'd all sit around crying about our miserable jobs, and one common phrase kept coming up: "I hate people!" I finally found a better job one year later, and that "hating people" feeling went away.

After 20 years I frequently see that feeling creeping back into my psyche, and i dont like it. It happens only when I'm online.

Why, oh why, are people so rude and crude and insulting when hidden behind a keyboard?

I've had some very bad experiences with online forums, whether they were political "debates" or simply looking for technical assistance with my computer. Strangers love to call you "*******" for no reason, and I think that's sick.

I once posted to a free legal forum when someone used my email in the "from" field of their spam (it's called "spoofing" and its very easy to do). I traced the spam to the company responsible and posted to this legal forum asking if I have any legal rights. The response I got was: Did it ever occur to you to invest in an antivirus program?

Now really, how was that a helpful response? I responded by explaining that I do indeed have AV software, I do not have a virus, it does not require a virus for one to manually enter someone's email into the "from" field of their message, and I don't know why I expected anything but rudeness from an online forum. I then deleted the thread.

Everyone's response to me has been "get thicker skin." Ya know what, my skin is just fine, I'm not going to change who I am just so some stranger can call me an "*******." Instead of letting these jerks off the hook it would be nice if we made everyone else start behaving like civilized human beings (hence I created that forum about bringing civility back into cyberspace...no surprise that nobody wants to join).

The past few months I encountered a few particularly bad experiences, and I decided that's it, I'm removing the internet from my life; like that Timothy Leary quote...turn off, drop out (or something like that)...

That worked for about 24 hours. Seriously, how do you remove the internet from your life? I've concluded it just can't be done.

Or can it...?
Thoughts?

 

[Pheenix]

*Useless response, I deleted it.

 

[Ak5]

Good luck with that, heh.

The Internet today is important, whether or not we like it. I understand your situation though. Even though, like your experiences with the Internet, people (face-to-face physical contact) can be rude or can be quite nice. Being anonymous seems to fuel people's desire to put down others.

If you really don't want Internet, simply stop billing your ISP; and your done, they will gladly take it away from you if you stop paying them.

 

[JamaisVu]

Stick to internet forums that are heavily moderated. In many places personal attacks are not tolerated (even in PM) and users who misbehave are punished or banned permanently from the website. Controversial debates are always prone to becoming hostile, but there are ways to minimize how likely it is that other users will choose to argue with you. I politely state my opinion and leave it at that and I make a point to be very calm, civil, and generous in a debate. On occasion I've seen someone being rude to another user for absolutely no reason, and sometimes I'll bluntly call them out on it and defend the other user, but even then I'm not rude about it. I have a polite but no-nonsense attitude online and nobody bothers to insult me or fight with me because they know it's a waste of their time. If you're angry, don't let it show. Focus on finding the good people online and don't let the bad ones ruin the entire internet for you. It's usually pretty obvious which posters are civil and which ones are out to troll. And it's "Turn on, tune in, drop out"

 

[VanillaCreme]

They're mean and cruel behind a keyboard because they can be. I seriously doubt half the people who want to be keyboard warriors would ever be like to anyone's face. The screen provides them some sort of protection.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Nope..

.Most companies require a person to submit resume or apply on line ,now.

Some poeple have ulter ego on line.

Some people are very egotistic in real life Abusive people cross lines or bondaries they use my good nataure againts me. They will also
gather the masses or maniputlate
others ...family or friends againt me.
Its basic isolation tactics.

The rule of taking oneself out of playing a victim is to confront to abuser out in the open...PM or private talks with abusers is falling into the trap of isolation..

It might seem rude or undecent when I tell abusive people to fresia off in public. The abuser knows where I stand. Im no longer thier vicitm. Absuers will simply find another victim... And play the games of
reputations and deceptions.

I have good self esteem...
I dont really give a fresia what others think or say about me.
The basics....of having good selfesteem. Screw fuvcken guilt. .

---

Some abusers are sicker than others.
Fortunate for then to fresia with me.
Payback is a matha fucken *****.
Excuse the fresia out of me for being
your fucken karma

---

God sent an abravise prick like me into your life to sand your rough skin ..
Rubbing ya the wrong way so that you may become a finer person?

 

[Haz]

I've come across dozens of internet trolls over the years, some worse than others. It's an abusive culture, where we depersonalise the receiver on the other end of the communication into our own narrow, subjective view of the world.

Don't feed the trolls, is internet etiquette #1.

 

[ladysigh]

Stick to internet forums that are heavily moderated. In many places personal attacks are not tolerated (even in PM) and users who misbehave are punished or banned permanently from the website.

One particular forum really burned me (I ended up having my username deleted it got so bad), its the forum on my favorite internet radio station's website; its a "self-moderating" forum...meaning there is no moderation at all; the owner makes it pretty clear his job there is to play music. This morning while killing time while on jury duty I was perusing over there and I just happened to read this piece'o'crap posted by one of the usual posters:

"...these forums here are also an eclectic blend of subjects and comments from a diversity of people... there is no sterilization and homogenization like so many other websites that cluster people together who think exactly alike... to me, comfortably boring websites are good for nothing more than virtual inbreeding... I personally prefer an intellectual gene pool of diversity of thought..."

You see, he's never had the following picture posted directed at him:

I wrote up about this incident quite a bit in my blog, but to summarize, the resident thug was having a heated fight with another woman (who is not in the "unpopular" group for some strange reason). It culminated with him posting the above picture directed at her. She took it very seriously as this guy has been known to post other members' addresses "for fun." While it angered me that the DJ ignored her complaint, what I found more disgusting was the lack of outrage from this "intellectual gene pool of diversity of thought."

What are your opinions of this picture? How would you feel if someone posted this directed at you?

My disgust was furthered when during a heated back-and-forth with this jerk about the picture not a single member of this "intellectual gene pool" stepped in and said something to support me (as I said in my blog, they're like the kids who silently giggled in class while you were being scolded by the teacher).

Yeah, I think I'll stick to forums with sterilization and virtual inbreeding.

(if anyone wants to see links to any of this just let me know, I don't want to be accused of spamming or unsolicited promotion!)

 

[Pheenix]

I personally think the reason right there could be apathy, I could be wrong.

I would not be seriously appaled at the picture, only slightly harmed.

 

[ladysigh]

I personally think the reason right there could be apathy, I could be wrong.

I would not be seriously appaled at the picture, only slightly harmed.

Well I can tell you the woman targeted was scared for her safety (she's on my fb page)...and if you had been following the conversations over the past several years on that forum you'd be scared as well...

 

[Badjedidude]

IT'S THE INTERNET'S FAULT!!!

THERE WERE NEVER BULLIES OR ******** IN REAL LIFE BEFORE THE INTERNET!!! NO SUCH THING AS HATEMAIL!!! OR STALKING!!! OR RAPE!!!!

BLAME THE INTERNET!!! AUUUUUGHHHH!!!!!

 

[A Desolate Soul]

 

[JamaisVu]

What are your opinions of this picture? How would you feel if someone posted this directed at you?

One of the forums I visit is almost completely unmoderated. It's considered one of the most offensive sites on the internet, and I've happily participated on it for many years. When I talk there, I do so knowing that folks may try to antagonize me. I'm OK with that. Even if someone genuinely and personally hates me and wants me to die, I just don't care unless that person has true power over me: which is nobody (especially online). I have a low opinion of people and I hate a lot of them, I'm not shocked if the sentiment is returned and I'm not shocked that sociopaths and crazies have internet access. You're going to run across downright evil people, online and offline. You don't have to like them, but letting their typed nonsense really get to you is only hurting you. I'd rather a person be completely honest and quickly reveal their true character.

As far as photos go, the one you posted is tame. I've seen videos of real people dying online. Nothing shocks me. Traditional insults don't particularly offend me because they're so meaningless. The only jabs that annoy me are those rooted in truth or those given by someone that I genuinely liked, because it forces me to acknowledge a personal flaw.

The people on your former forum are presumably grown-ups. If they wish to remain anonymous and do not wish for trolls to get their addresses, they should know better than to share their personal information in such a way that anyone can find it! Before posting my address online, I think to myself "I'm armed and I don't mind a challenge..." If the woman is so afraid of the internet-tough-guy, then it's in her best interests to be more careful with her private details, and be prepared to defend herself.

Adults are ultimately responsible for themselves and if the forum is causing them emotional distress, they can click the little "X" logo instead of hanging around for years. It's really that simple. In all likelihood, nobody cares about that woman or that man, which is why people aren't jumping to her defense. Why should they care? Why do you, if these people are all idiots anyway? Some people just like watching the drama and in-fighting. Find people you like, connect with them meaningfully, and ignore the rest.

 

[beans]

The Internet is a powerful, powerful tool. That said, it has its cons, but it also has its pros.

I'm thankful for the Internet because I've found lot of helpful info for health, fixing things, finances, etc. I've also met a handful of people who were very generous in helping me in some areas in my life. But I've also gotten hurt over both Internet pals and anonymous people who say really nasty and sarcastic things to us. But sometimes, we ourselves also hurt others while being a 'smartass' and are not willing to try to understand someone.

 

[rosebud]

I'm the other way around. People make me hate the internet.

 

[Cathedral]

I love the Internet. I hate people. The human element is the most harmful element on Earth, because there's always going to be an IDIOT to screw up something for everyone else!

 

[JohnHenryEden]

I agree with Cathedral. Why'd he get banned anyway? Well, I can garentee you people who make threats on the internet would never follow through with them. They just want something to vent their anger on. So, if someone ever beaks at me on the net, I insult them with something worse.

 

[Badjedidude]

I agree with Cathedral. Why'd he get banned anyway?

Long story. Not worth repeating.

So, if someone ever beaks at me on the net, I insult them with something worse.

Wow, that's totally mature.

 

[SophiaGrace]

The internet makes me hate people too.

Does this club have t shirts and membership cards?

---

Excuse me as I go cry myself to sleep.

 

[theSmokingRabbit]

As a very irritated ex-con I knew once said:

"Anyone can gang-bang over the phone!"

Of course replace the phone with a computer and there you go.


I don't let the stupid things that stupid people do bother me.

That'd make me stupid.