That is what I am. A fellow traveller, one of the walking dead. The person who may be my only friend in this world just had a baby yesterday. I was/am excited for him and the new chapter of life he can begin. This event also made me take a hard look at myself and my own life and the result was not favorable. I hate this world, hate the greedy overprivileged kids who's mommy and daddy spoil, hate the women who put me in the friend zone where I die of neglect, hate how hard it is to find new friends, hate that I am so **** lazy, and finally hate that I dont have the courage to die. So when you see me on the street, there is no reason to wave or stop and say hi. I am already dead, Im just not six feet under yet. Every attempt I make for a "cure" has ended in disaster. It is my own fault I know, I didnt work hard enough, I wanted more than they did, or I just couldnt handle any more rejection.
So here I am. An infected. It makes me think of one thing my father once said to me before he kicked me out of his home, he said, "Tony you are a cancer, if we dont cut you out you will infect everyone" For a long time I resented him for saying such a thing to his own son but now I know he just saw what I couldnt. I bet I would frighten anyone who could see the dark aura that surrounds me. For me the cure is death and until I grow the courage to do it myself I have to continue to live. I have to continue to grow older, more bitter, more sad, more angry. So ends another rant about my pathetic life. If you do see me walking down the street, do me a favor and treat me like you would a zombie and blow my brains out.
So here I am. An infected. It makes me think of one thing my father once said to me before he kicked me out of his home, he said, "Tony you are a cancer, if we dont cut you out you will infect everyone" For a long time I resented him for saying such a thing to his own son but now I know he just saw what I couldnt. I bet I would frighten anyone who could see the dark aura that surrounds me. For me the cure is death and until I grow the courage to do it myself I have to continue to live. I have to continue to grow older, more bitter, more sad, more angry. So ends another rant about my pathetic life. If you do see me walking down the street, do me a favor and treat me like you would a zombie and blow my brains out.