To clique or not to clique?

[Pheenix]

Can somebody dissect cliques for me?
See, in the past, I would end up in a clique. One of the small ones, the nerds, the artsy types, whatever.
But now, I'm trying to get out there, especially because I am realizing that I can't live two lives in high school, I have to just take the school and everything in it all the way.

So, since I am being social for the sake of being social, ending up in a clique seems weird. And most of the true extroverts don't, right?

Fair enough, so I won't try for a clique myself, but I am imagining myself being extroverted, and what keeps glitching is I keep imagining myself talking to people that usually talk amidst themselves.

In short, do you talk to the cliques that sit somewhere, if you happen to sit the same place, or should you let cliques close themselves off in social space? And if the latter, who do you talk to? Are you forced to find a clique for yourself?

I just know at least 3 people that are always talking among each other, and if I imagine myself talking to the three of them, I imagine that it would annoy them. And for good reason.

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I'm not necessarily talking about cliques with dictator-ish leaders or anything, just groups of friends that feel like they sort of close off, not consciously, but because they alone keep a conversation going for as long as needed.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Don't shut yourself off from your friends, why would you want to do that? =/

 

[Starman]

what's a clique?

 

[Pheenix]

In this thread, a clique is a group of friends so entertained by each other that they are not actively seeking new friends.

I wouldn't shut myself off, that's the point, but if everyone is a clique, then suddenly being in a clique will give more friends than staying outside, where there are none.

 

[Dessa]

I was part of a clique in high school. It never stopped me from getting to know others from another clique. Eventually, our cliques got together and formed a super clique. Lol true story. (Also, I like saying clique.)

I guess my point is that don't let cliques define the kind of person you are. Don't write off others, too. Too much of the same is boring. I ended up breaking away from the super clique because it was getting too boring. My best friend and I ended up making our own clique which included anyone who would socialize with us.

 

[Pheenix]

So you're saying I should be able to break through the clique shields? Sweet. I don't want to get constricted in one either, I just haven't seen anyone make a breach yet.

 

[Badjedidude]

People naturally tend to gravitate toward those who are somewhat like themselves. It's how society works. People cluster with like people.

Deal with it.

 

[Starman]

it's how to deal with it that the OP was asking

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^Deal with it by joining one. Or forming your own.

The OP is trying to make this too scientific... and human interactions aren't a scientific thing. Yes, you can watch and study human behavior and interests, etc etc etc... but you'll never be a part of a group or society unless you just let go and make friends.

It's as simple as that.

 

[Pheenix]

How am I being scientific? I am merely asking how to be extroverted when people close themselves off in groups.

My old class wasn't cliqued up like this. It's not a universal thing. But I see your suggestion is to join / form one, and thank you for it. Wondering where that will take me... Hmm... the uncertainty of this makes me more excited than anxious, that's great I just don't really feel like I fit into a specific group. I don't feel fundamentally different, just outside all current groups. Interested in where this takes me.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^I guess you pretty much picked up on what I was saying, but let me make my feelings clear on this: STOP CALLING THEM CLIQUES. That word has such a negative connotation, and I only ever see it when bitter people are whining about not fitting in with any group around them.

So here's my advice:

MAKE A GROUP OF FRIENDS

It's that simple. Go out, find friends, hang with them. You might find it's healthier just to look at it that way; they're just friends you spend time with. No need to go all behavioral/sociologist and call it cliques or peer groups or cohorts.

 

[Pheenix]

Right, I will change my semantics then

It's just boring to fence yourself in. But if it must be done, so be it.

 

[Badjedidude]

^^^That's the thing, though... why look at it so negatively? Why does having a group of close friends have to be "fencing yourself in?"

Surely you can still mingle with other types of people and make different circles of friends, right?

*shrug*

I just don't understand why you see it as a negative thing.

 

[Pheenix]

Just that it's a bit boring to have the same sample of people whose perspectives and ideas to perceive. But it's not all bad, it's not that I don't want a close groups of friends.

 

[sagasu]

Is there even such a thing as a clique which prohibits its members from talking to other people? I'm not really sure what you're asking. Hang out with a clique if you like the people in it, but never be afraid to talk to others.

 

[kamya]

Is there even such a thing as a clique which prohibits its members from talking to other people?

Its high school. All kinds of crazy stupid illogical social honeysuckle is possible when you are in high school.

 

[Pheenix]

Exactly. It's not that they actively repel other people, they just do not open up for newcomers.