To text or not to text that is the question?

[ardour]

...never once had a women (outside of a platonic friend) initiate a text/email/fb message. I get the impression that only happens if you're above average attractive.

A lot of  time the guy has to keep initiating. However, knowing when to stop is important.

I've always been the one to initiate, but that's not to say it never happens. Some people might say how there's a stigma around women initiating, others (More than likely from this site) would say otherwise, I'm with the latter. It may have been an issue at one point, but society is moving on all the time.

But regardless, it's important you have the ability to read the obvious signs... I agree with that.

I didn't say it never happens either, just that it's unusual. If there continues to be a stigma it's to do with women being forward sexually. Men are still expected to earn relationships through initiating and carrying the interaction/conversation; to 'just know' when to continue or back off. That doesn't look like it's changing any time soon.

 

[9006]

I didn't say it never happens either, just that it's unusual. If there continues to be a stigma it's to do with women being forward sexually. Men are still expected to earn relationships through initiating and carrying the interaction/conversation; to  'just know' when to continue or back off. That doesn't look like it's changing any time soon.

Yeah it's a bit of an old way of thinking. On a few occasions I've heard how if a woman is forward she's "desperate" and the guy "isn't a man" like it's taking away his genitals or something. Observe: http://youtu.be/vao6ffjirqA?t=126

 

[VanillaCreme]

For me it has happened in the past. I used to get mad and bitter and would contact after some time. It never really accomplished anything or gave any closure. Nowadays I don't really do that unless I have something important or positive to say. I don't stew either. I just don't really care anymore when people do that. It says more about them than anything imo. IMO the anger and negative feelings are justified but people are free to be shitty if they want to. Calling it out never goes in your favor.

I can't find, in any situation, where the anger is justified. You don't need to explain, I'm just getting my thoughts out before I have to get ready for my day. But being angry over something usually indicates that whatever you're angry at, you think it's wrong. It's not wrong for someone not to return the feelings that you feel for them. I really can't fathom the idea of believing that someone should reciprocate simply because I feel a certain way. And just because someone doesn't return the feelings and do as you'd like them to do, doesn't necessarily mean they're shitty. I can't justify being harsh to someone because they don't feel the same.

Again, you don't have to explain. It's just a little odd to me.

 

[Restless soul]

I will try, being the creator of the thread and all.
And this might sound too simplistic. But people react differently to different people and different relationships with those people. Try to explain better later

 

[Restless soul]

I heard this advice before and I will not mention from who. A girlfriend breaks up with you? A friend ignores you. Who cares? No big deal? Maybe for some they can take that attitude. And some not. Does that mean if you don't you are not as emotionally strong? Stable?
Don't know. Don't know

 

[Restless soul]

I was just in starbucks. Walked by a group of women chatting, sounded like she said eew. Was it my imagination? Directed at me?

---

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yes, everything you overhear everyone saying is about you. Doesn't matter who they are or what they are doing, it's always about you....

 

[Restless soul]

Yes, everything you overhear everyone saying is about you.  Doesn't matter who they are or what they are doing, it's always about you....

No, no...you misinterpret. Never said that. Said this instance. Something i picked up as negaitve that might have been about me. Or i felt.

What's your point now callie ??

---

My point was it's a bad sign for me. Bad bad!

---

Maybe i shouldn't listen closley. You are correct

 

[9006]

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

Sounds more like paranoia.

 

[Restless soul]

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

Sounds more like paranoia.

It was just the timing of when she said it. Right when I walked by. True i was evesdropping a few minutes earlier when they were talking about thier friend who only wears short skirts. And I was even going to make a funny quip. Good thing I didn't

---

To me that would be due to poor self image and low self-esteem. And some paranoia maybe for good measure. All of which I posted about on here before

 

[VanillaCreme]

I was just in starbucks. Walked by a group of women chatting, sounded like she said eew. Was it my imagination? Directed at me?

---

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

---

Either poor self-esteem or ego. This is a question, nothing more, not trying to be an *******, but why would you think it was about you? Were they pointing at you or looking at you?

 

[Restless soul]

I was just in starbucks. Walked by a group of women chatting, sounded like she said eew. Was it my imagination? Directed at me?

---

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

---

Either poor self-esteem or ego. This is a question, nothing more, not trying to be an *******, but why would you think it was about you? Were they pointing at you or looking at you?

---

I got it all. Were they pointing at me? No. Because That would blatantly rude. But it just so happens the second when I walked by I heard that word eww which seemed weird. But you're right I'm sure it's mostly in my head

 

[Xpendable]

-too much ego
-low self-esteem
-paranoid
-delusional

jeez, one can never be free of sin in here.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I was just in starbucks. Walked by a group of women chatting, sounded like she said eew. Was it my imagination? Directed at me?

---

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

---

Either poor self-esteem or ego. This is a question, nothing more, not trying to be an *******, but why would you think it was about you? Were they pointing at you or looking at you?

---

I got it all. Were they pointing at me? No. Because That would blatantly rude. But it just so happens the second when I walked by I heard that word eww which seemed weird. But you're right I'm sure it's mostly in my head

---

I was just asking, because the timing was odd. But they could have been talking about **** near anything when you walked by. So, I wouldn't bother with it. It was most likely pure happenstance. I highly doubt you're that bad looking anyway.

 

[Restless soul]

I was just in starbucks. Walked by a group of women chatting, sounded like she said eew. Was it my imagination? Directed at me?

---

Tell me that us not the ultimate sign of poor self esteem.

---

Either poor self-esteem or ego. This is a question, nothing more, not trying to be an *******, but why would you think it was about you? Were they pointing at you or looking at you?

---

I got it all. Were they pointing at me? No. Because That would blatantly rude. But it just so happens the second when I walked by I heard that word eww which seemed weird. But you're right I'm sure it's mostly in my head

---

I was just asking, because the timing was odd. But they could have been talking about **** near anything when you walked by. So, I wouldn't bother with it. It was most likely pure happenstance. I highly doubt you're that bad looking anyway.

---

Right. Thanks.