Urgent advice needed - updated

[badaboom]

Just like 2 hours ago I broke up with my girlfriend of about 1 year and 3 months. She cheated on me..worse then cheating she was in a relationship with me and some other guy for 4 months. I found out a week ago and she asked for another chance but I realized if she can do something horrible like that once what will stop her from doing it again. But I just need advice to get over her and just moving on with my life, it was a very shocking break up not expecting it..

Update on the situation: Its the first official day and for some reason I feel like getting back with her, I know its not right but I think im really attached to her You guys have any suggestions?

 

[NEREVAR117]

What can any of us say to make it easier on you? Probably not much.

You were right to break up with her, I say. A relationship should be about trust, and if she was cheating on you this early in, it simply wasn't going to work. Pick yourself up and find a new girlfriend. One that is better and more trustful then the last. No point in sulking, just hope for the best.

 

[Unacceptance]

I am sure myself and other people here can say they have left relationships of an even longer term. It's going to suck but you essentially have to fight that battle by yourself. Just know you aren't the only one and it IS possible to go on living.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Okay....

I was so freaken shock when I found out my gf cheated on me. I didn't know how to process it.

Hang on to your ass...it's going to be a roller coaster ride for a week or so.
It's going to stress you out a bit...

Try not to make any major decisions. Such as quit your job.
Don't freak out...if you can't sleep or can't think stright for a while.
If you have to cry...allow yourself to cry. When it hits you, you'll know.

Talk to people...don't let it fester inside of you.
Hang out with friends if you can.

Take care of yourself....try to eat, rest if you can.

Allow yourself to grieve...A relationship break up is almost like a physical death..
it's still a lost of someone you love.
it dosn't matter if you broke up with her or she broke up with you....a break up is break up.

There will be feelings of anger..betray, hurt, love, miss turst.
Don't trip out.

KNOW it's your feelings....YOU are not your feelings.


Remove all objects that reminds you of her.

Go buy a new pair of shoes....it's just a reminder or changes that you're going through.
Try to stay bussy...don't sit home alone all the time...get out of you house or apartment.

If you are serious about the break up....NO CONTACTS.
NO..E-mails...NO texting..NO phone calls...
NO re negociations.
NO BREAK UP SEX.

Your mind and body will seek comfort from the stress of the break up...SEX is one of the ways my body seeks comfort.
I did the break up and make up sex with my ex...and it went on forever.
The relationship got really, really toxic and worst and worst. It became a visious cycle.
I bascailly became a **** sex addict in the process...I had more sex with her then i had ever before.
It never healed me of the pain and hurt i felt on the inside. I wasn't having an intimate rlationship with her..
I was having sex with her all the time to run away from my pains.

Allow yourself to take a time out from the emotional roller coaster.

You don't really get over a break up...you go through a break up.
Don't run from the process...the sooner you proces it...the sooner you'll get pass it.

Keep a jornal..this will help you keep track of your progress.
You can write about all your feelings on paper...this will release your emotions in a non -dystructive manner.

If you need to go to a batting range to release your anger...do so.

Don't hurt yourself or anyone in the process.

Please try not to drink alcohol if you can...alcohol is a depresent..it'll make you more depress during this process.

 

[Brian]

NO BREAK UP SEX.

Wait, five minutes ago you were telling me to go make love to anything with a pulse as long as it didn't utter any words of contempt, but break-up sex is bad?

You're confusing me. How am I supposed to learn anything?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

NO BREAK UP SEX.

Wait, five minutes ago you were telling me to go make love to anything with a pulse as long as it didn't utter any words of contempt, but break-up sex is bad?

You're confusing me. How am I supposed to learn anything?

Appropriate...Brian
appropricate.

Gee wheezzzz man...you gotta be in a relationship first, then be in a break up stage to have break up sex.

Yes Brian, we had a lot of sex when we wern't fighting or breaking up. We just had more sex when
I was trying to break up with her. Yes...Brian, i broke up with her and had sex with her all the time.
I did mention it was toxic didn't I. It became like a drug. You get physically and emotionally attached
to someone..after you live with them for a while.
Break up sex is a bandaide job...I was having internal bleeding sort of speak..FFS.

You're just on the other extreem end of the spectrum...man.
No sex fucks you up too. That's like love stravations.

FFS....stop using a hammer to kill a freaken fly...(for everything)

If it was that easy to go through a break up...evidently he wouldn't be asking for help.
GET OVER HER....he did mention that already didn't he ?

I didn't mention ...go out and have sex with another girl to him didn't I.
I'm pretty sure those thoughts crossed his mind already.
This too will releave his stress...but there's a posiblities of him feeling guilty and more hurt.
Adding more pains on top of pains.
It's like a **** stereo type that all guys want is sex from a girl..ffs.
True.... men are less emotional than women...but that dosn't mean men lack emotions either.

 

[Zak]

Sorry to hear about your situation bababoom. It really sucks. I think it's a very good move you made there, not sticking on with the relationship and breaking up and yeah it sucks pretty badly. But the pain will go away. You were too good for her man. Keep telling you that over and over again. She's not worth your time or love. You deserve WAY better. Good Luck

 

[Steel]

Just remember that if the trust in a relationship is gone, then there is no point continuing with it.