sneha
Active member
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2010
- Messages
- 35
- Reaction score
- 0
i come from a family that is violent, catfights and beatings are common, sometimes it feels they are very caring, but sometimes its just very violent, i get beat up by my parents even now, my mom dad both are very violent when they are angry. In our culture, its important to respect parents, and i should be doing same. In beginning, i didn't reacted when i was beated by my own parents, but when the emotional trauma became unbearable, i had to defend myself. now every time my mom or dad go in excess of violence, i tend to push them away, defending myself. they in turn blackmail me emotionally, saying that i am a disgrace on family and many other things, my mother doesn't mind calling me a whore or pros... just because i m chatting with my friends on phone, something which is very common.
they don't trust me at all. my brother's is no less. we are same age, and yet even he would beat me up sometimes when he is home.
my fault is that i don't help my mom with her daily chores, i don't like to do that.
im 28 single, overweight and unstable with mind because of all this. sometimes i feel like drinking or running away from home. this are emotional scars, not visible externally .
at first sight, i might appear as any other normal human being, but i feel all this violence has left me with little self confidence and low self esteem, other than this, i dont feel anything towards my family, its like emotionally i am empty.
at any time, i would be happy to leave my home and stay separately, all by myself, but thats possible only when i have a decent job that pays well. right now, although i am working, but it doesn't pay gud enough to sustain my self living separately, thats the reason i am not able to leave home.
besides this i am not sure what to do about this and everything in general.
i need a friend whom i can trust and some help.
they don't trust me at all. my brother's is no less. we are same age, and yet even he would beat me up sometimes when he is home.
my fault is that i don't help my mom with her daily chores, i don't like to do that.
im 28 single, overweight and unstable with mind because of all this. sometimes i feel like drinking or running away from home. this are emotional scars, not visible externally .
at first sight, i might appear as any other normal human being, but i feel all this violence has left me with little self confidence and low self esteem, other than this, i dont feel anything towards my family, its like emotionally i am empty.
at any time, i would be happy to leave my home and stay separately, all by myself, but thats possible only when i have a decent job that pays well. right now, although i am working, but it doesn't pay gud enough to sustain my self living separately, thats the reason i am not able to leave home.
besides this i am not sure what to do about this and everything in general.
i need a friend whom i can trust and some help.