What are you feeling, hoping, thinking, or remembering right now?

[user 130057]

I've just noticed that today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. I'm having a terrible day too. Nothing to do with the aforementioned marriage though...

 

[TheRealCallie]

I've just noticed that today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. I'm having a terrible day too. Nothing to do with the aforementioned marriage though...

My 16th was back in April. Only, we're still married...not together though.

 

[Tealeaf]

Dear neighbors,

Please shut your dogs up, it's been half an hour.

Please shut your children up, it's been a whole hour with them out in the hall.

Please shut your smoke alarm up and stop burning things.

Please shut yourself up and stop yelling ghetto speak outside my door.

Please shut your spouse up when you're having noisy sex at 3am in the apartment above.

Thanks,
Working from home

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I've just noticed that today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. I'm having a terrible day too. Nothing to do with the aforementioned marriage though...

My 16th was back in April. Only, we're still married...not together though.

Yesterday was my 4th.

 

[user 130057]

I've just noticed that today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. I'm having a terrible day too. Nothing to do with the aforementioned marriage though...

My 16th was back in April. Only, we're still married...not together though.

Yesterday was my 4th.

The fact that I could be married 16 years ago makes me feel Ooooold...

I wonder how many marriages actually make it 16 years while still being happy?

 

[lonelyfairy]

I really like you, but... It would be a mistake. Why always so far away...

 

[TheSkaFish]

Feeling that all too familiar mix of angry/hopeless again.

 

[Aisha]

Did you think I was joking? I don't like being approached like this. When I said you will never get close enough, I meant it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

It doesn't feel the same like it used to. Quite a number of relatives I've lost this year.

 

[Serephina]

Stressed and i'm usually the one that keeps everything together. I guess i'm just not that infallable. Sorry to anyone i've upset lately.

 

[user 130057]

I miss our daily text conversations. I know life has thrown you a bit of a curveball and I'm all over the place at the moment, so it's taken a bit of a back seat, but I wanted you to know that I enjoy our back and forth.

 

[Serenia]

The feeling is entirely mutual, thank you it is nice to know you enjoy it.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Feeling pissed off at the labels that I subconsciously placed on myself, based on people treating me like I was low-status and me believing it subconsciously, even though I didn't want to. I had no idea I was still doing it all these years later. I thought I'd broken free, but I was still seeing myself as a loser and acting accordingly.

 

[Serenia]

Feeling very low tonight, no idea why I started to think about it, but all I can see are my failures. I know I do some good in this world, even if it is small, and the people close to me get loved with all my heart. I work hard at the roles in my life. So why tonight do I only see my failings and not know how to improve them. Some of them are within my control and some are out of my control or are they? I don't know anymore. I just know I have or am failing, I can't see how to change my thinking to succeed, certainly in the things I believe are within my control. How do I learn to accept the things outside my control.

 

[user 130057]

Feeling very low tonight, no idea why I started to think about it, but all I can see are my failures. I know I do some good in this world, even if it is small, and the people close to me get loved with all my heart. I work hard at the roles in my life. So why tonight do I only see my failings and not know how to improve them. Some of them are within my control and some are out of my control or are they? I don't know anymore. I just know I have or am failing, I can't see how to change my thinking to succeed, certainly in the things I believe are within my control. How do I learn to accept the things outside my control.

Your post reminds me of the 'Prayer For Serenity'.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I know one thing that you wish to change and it's definitely within your control. I guess now you've just got to find the courage to start and then the determination to stick with it.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^Sending you hugs, Serenia. And user 130057 - just cos.
Hope you're both doing well.

 

[Aisha]

She trusted me with a secret like that? And no one else? That's sort of confusing.. her best friend is right here. I have an idea as to how he'll react though. I thought when she said 'secret' it would be something funny and mostly trivial. She's one of the sweetest and most innocent people I've met. Her capacity to trust is astounding. I would have thought that would have torn her ability to do so to shreds.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Feeling like "angry" and "hopeless" crashed into each other at 100 miles an hour, resulting in an explosion of powerless rage and despair.

In times like these I feel that all my attempts at gaining knowledge or self-improvement or understanding of myself have been useless, because what if a loser is just what I am? What if I just fundamentally, at my core, am a loser? Then I'm never going to have anything, do anything, or be anything and any attempt to try is foolish, wishful thinking because it's beyond my natural limits. What if all I can be is someone who gets kicked around by life, someone who has no power and never will have any power. I think about spending the rest of my life watching everything I want go to other people and I just get so angry, and feel so helpless. What if I am a loser, like predators are predators and prey is prey? When I get knocked into this feeling, it's very hard for me to get out. I just feel like nothing I do will be enough, because what if it's just my nature to be a loser? What if I can't change my story?

I need some proof that I have power over my life, but I don't have any and don't see any reason why that should change.

This is how unhelpful comments make me feel. In times like these I really struggle to find some evidence that anything I do matters, I just can't see it.

---

Edit - the feeling passed but I wish people wouldn't say stuff like that to me, it really makes me feel hopeless.

 

[Serenia]

^Sending you hugs, Serenia. And user 130057 - just cos.
Hope you're both doing well.

Thanks Ladyf x Will message you for a catch up, sorry its been so long x

 

[ladyforsaken]

^Sending you hugs, Serenia. And user 130057 - just cos.
Hope you're both doing well.

Thanks Ladyf x Will message you for a catch up, sorry its been so long x

No worries, Serenia - you take your time, I know you got a lot on your plate and shoulders. Always here for support anytime though. xx *hugs*