P
Paraiyar
Guest
Insanity for sure...
ladyforsaken said:Is my brother going to blame me for this?
user 130057 said:Should there really be a Starbucks concession selling sugary, fat-filled beverages and confections right next to the cardiology department?
TheSkaFish said:Reading dating advice again. Probably a bad idea, but I'm determined to get to the bottom of this. One thing I have to say is how annoyed I am when people label a guy as a creep and an idiot for being friends with a girl before dating her. Half of the word "girlfriend" is "friend". For me, I need to know if I can even talk to the person before I know if I can date them. If I even like spending time with them at all. I also feel like it builds familiarity and comfort levels with each other. If I don't know if I can even have a conversation with someone, how can I know I want to date them? And how could I have much of a conversation with someone if I don't have any context? I don't like randomly chatting up strangers very much, who for all I know have nothing in common with me or nothing to say that I want to talk about. It takes me a while to feel comfortable talking to someone. That's all.
TheSkaFish said:For me, I need to know if I can even talk to the person before I know if I can date them. If I even like spending time with them at all. I also feel like it builds familiarity and comfort levels with each other. If I don't know if I can even have a conversation with someone, how can I know I want to date them?
kamya said:I usually feel the same way as you but it never really works out that way in reality. It would be nice if the world worked the way we want it to, or the way we feel it should work. It doesn't though.
Paraiyar said:Are you sure you aren't overthinking this and creating unnecessary restrictions that may hinder your chances? Plenty of people casually date people they don't really know with no commitment attached unless they want it that way later on.
TheSkaFish said:Paraiyar said:Are you sure you aren't overthinking this and creating unnecessary restrictions that may hinder your chances? Plenty of people casually date people they don't really know with no commitment attached unless they want it that way later on.
I don't think so. For me, having common interests and/or curiosity about the person are as important as good looks. Common interests help, but curiosity is a must. I've only found one girl that I liked with a lot of common interests with me, but I have liked others that have only some common interests. However, they still make me curious about them. If I'm not curious about the person, looks alone aren't enough for me to have any interest beyond casual sex, and I've never been into that. I'm not even that morally opposed to it anymore, it's just not what I want. It's a lot of work and in the end, you don't have a connection which is what I'm really after- someone I feel is special to share things with.
I think that's a problem I have, that I have tried to increase my awareness of. I'm so eager to have a meaningful connection that I rush things instead of letting things go at their own pace.
Paraiyar said:But what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with looks or physical attraction, the point I'm making is that you could just as easily ascertain what you have in common from going on casual dates as you could whilst developing a regular friendship anyway. But with casual dates, there is less chance of there being a misunderstanding where the girl ends up viewing you simply as friend who she has a lot of interests in common with since she kind of knows there is a potential romantic interest from the beginning.
My co-worker met her current boyfriend by just going on casual dates with people and seeing what came of it. Eventually she isolated him and cut the other guys out. Now I can see that she's got a real connection that is starting to grow with him.
I just think you're making things a lot harder for yourself this way.
TheSkaFish said:Paraiyar said:But what I'm saying doesn't have anything to do with looks or physical attraction, the point I'm making is that you could just as easily ascertain what you have in common from going on casual dates as you could whilst developing a regular friendship anyway. But with casual dates, there is less chance of there being a misunderstanding where the girl ends up viewing you simply as friend who she has a lot of interests in common with since she kind of knows there is a potential romantic interest from the beginning.
My co-worker met her current boyfriend by just going on casual dates with people and seeing what came of it. Eventually she isolated him and cut the other guys out. Now I can see that she's got a real connection that is starting to grow with him.
I just think you're making things a lot harder for yourself this way.
Something would have to get my attention about them though, for me to even want to date them casually. If I don't know anything about the girl, then all I have to go on is looks, and it's probably not going to be enough to generate any interest for me, especially if they seem like someone who probably isn't into anything I like, which is usually the case.
TheSkaFish said:One thing I have to say is how annoyed I am when people label a guy as a creep and an idiot for being friends with a girl before dating her. Half of the word "girlfriend" is "friend".
Paraiyar said:If you tried casual dating and didn't find anyone it'd be nothing lost but if you didn't do it you could be missing out. Why not just try it?
trueth said:It seems I can only do the right things for a temporary period of time
EveWasFramed said:trueth said:It seems I can only do the right things for a temporary period of time
I can relate to that...
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