What are you thinking right now?

[kamya]

I didn't mean it in a callous way. More as advice for myself as I seem to get into similar situations to the one you described every so often.

I hope you do end up winning in the end. The same sorts of thoughts fuel me as well. Which is why it's best to move on to the next thing. You can't change what was. Forget about it and keep pushing forward.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I disagree. Even the people you'd consider to be winners in life don't always get what they want. Especially not straight away.

No, not right away. But at least they can get there eventually. They can at least take comfort that they are not just blocked forever.

I read some stuff that really pissed me off today. I read this blog about dating sometimes, I profoundly disagree with most of this guy's views but there are some things which are useful, stuff I wouldn't have come up with on my own. Some things he says make me really mad though. I'm just so mad at myself for messing up when I had a chance to break free of my old story if I only knew what to do, and what NOT to do. But I still had a lot of baggage from my childhood and teens, and some other beliefs which got in the way.

Right now, I feel more confident in being able to compose the next Dark Side of the Moon than I do ever dating someone I actually want to date, as opposed to someone I'd have to begrudgingly settle for, faking an interest in them, putting on a fake smile while pretending everything is fine. Or, I could just be alone forever. But if I said and did the right things, basically done what I should have been doing anyway, I could have gotten what I wanted. I didn't have to be superhuman. I just needed to have had myself together. And now, it doesn't matter.

 

[Paraiyar]

I disagree. Even the people you'd consider to be winners in life don't always get what they want. Especially not straight away.

No, not right away. But at least they can get there eventually. They can at least take comfort that they are not just blocked forever.

I read some stuff that really pissed me off today. I read this blog about dating sometimes, I profoundly disagree with most of this guy's views but there are some things which are useful, stuff I wouldn't have come up with on my own. Some things he says make me really mad though. I'm just so mad at myself for messing up when I had a chance to break free of my old story if I only knew what to do, and what NOT to do. But I still had a lot of baggage from my childhood and teens, and some other beliefs which got in the way.

Right now, I feel more confident in being able to compose the next Dark Side of the Moon than I do ever dating someone I actually want to date, as opposed to someone I'd have to begrudgingly settle for, faking an interest in them, putting on a fake smile while pretending everything is fine. Or, I could just be alone forever. But if I said and did the right things, basically done what I should have been doing anyway, I could have gotten what I wanted. I didn't have to be superhuman. I just needed to have had myself together. And now, it doesn't matter.

Dude, your song isn't sung yet, you just need to learn from the past to make the future better.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I didn't mean it in a callous way. More as advice for myself as I seem to get into similar situations to the one you described every so often.

I hope you do end up winning in the end. The same sorts of thoughts fuel me as well. Which is why it's best to move on to the next thing. You can't change what was. Forget about it and keep pushing forward.

No, I didn't read it callously. I'm just mad at the way things unfolded, because I think it could have gone differently if I only knew better, if I did things the way I was supposed to - believing in myself and going for stuff. Like I was saying, my beliefs for the longest time were assuming I was doomed to a failure and I approached everything with that assumption. If I didn't, then maybe I could have come off as more attractive. I developed an unattractive attitude because I didn't think I had any power to improve myself. And it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now, unless my luck changes, it doesn't matter if I become more confident and interesting or not. I don't like the phrase "move on" because most likely, it's all downhill from here now.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Dude, your song isn't sung yet, you just need to learn from the past to make the future better.

We'll see. I suppose there is a small chance that I could, indeed, get a second chance with one of those girls I liked, if I can get them to see me differently. But if not, then it's down to OKCupid or Plenty of Fish. I never see anyone on there that I would even be remotely as interested in having in my life.

I just wish that a bad impression wasn't so final. I wish I could somehow explain that it was an accident, and get some kind of a do-over.

Man I feel like hell. Hopefully I can go out tomorrow and have a drink. I need it.

 

[Paraiyar]

Dude, your song isn't sung yet, you just need to learn from the past to make the future better.

We'll see. I suppose there is a small chance that I could, indeed, get a second chance with one of those girls I liked, if I can get them to see me differently. But if not, then it's down to OKCupid or Plenty of Fish. I never see anyone on there that I would even be remotely as interested in having in my life.

I just wish that a bad impression wasn't so final. I wish I could somehow explain that it was an accident, and get some kind of a do-over.

Man I feel like hell. Hopefully I can go out tomorrow and have a drink. I need it.

I really think you're making a mistake thinking about girls from the past. I know I used to waste time dwelling and it does you no favours in the long run.

 

[dn560]

thinking about a painless way to kill myself

 

[TheSkaFish]

I really think you're making a mistake thinking about girls from the past. I know I used to waste time dwelling and it does you no favours in the long run.

I don't think it's a mistake. It's rare, but some people have managed to recover with girls they initially messed up with. I have to keep hoping I can turn it around. I haven't found anyone like that before or since, and I really don't think I'm going to find anyone like that again.

 

[BreakingtheGirl]

This 294847 breakup is so different from all the others. I've finally gained the "give no fucks" attitude I've always wanted to have. Normally, I'd stop eating & lose weight rapidly by being depressed and not caring to live. Now, I'm eating my feelings, gaining 11 lbs in 2 wks or so that I've desperately needed and want to keep up. I'm giving all my cuddles & attention to myself and my dog. Being a shoulder to lean on/cry on for my younger cousins. All while that ****** is still texting me in hopes to worm his way back. It may or may not work. I don't care. Not as creative with my writings or anything like usual.....whatever. I've never ate my feelings before, but it feels good. Not giving a fresia feels GOOD.

 

[kamya]

This 294847 breakup is so different from all the others. I've finally gained the "give no fucks" attitude I've always wanted to have. Normally, I'd stop eating & lose weight rapidly by being depressed and not caring to live. Now, I'm eating my feelings, gaining 11 lbs in 2 wks or so that I've desperately needed and want to keep up. I'm giving all my cuddles & attention to myself and my dog. Being a shoulder to lean on/cry on for my younger cousins. All while that ****** is still texting me in hopes to worm his way back. It may or may not work. I don't care. Not as creative with my writings or anything like usual.....whatever. I've never ate my feelings before, but it feels good. Not giving a fresia feels GOOD.

This is pretty much the main reason Ben and Jerry's exists.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I seriously wish Walmart had those pretzels again. They were good.

I really think you're making a mistake thinking about girls from the past. I know I used to waste time dwelling and it does you no favours in the long run.

I don't think it's a mistake. It's rare, but some people have managed to recover with girls they initially messed up with. I have to keep hoping I can turn it around. I haven't found anyone like that before or since, and I really don't think I'm going to find anyone like that again.

Sometimes, it borderlines obsession when it's no longer about actually achieving a reconnection with someone. It's possible though. Anything is.

 

[BadGuy]

Go back to bed

 

[ladyforsaken]

Life has too much chaos. All I want and will strive for will be peace. I don't care what anyone says about me. I live my life for myself. I like it the way it is. I choose what treatments I want cos I'm the one going through it. It's not like I'm choosing to die. I'm choosing to live life with a clear mind and happy, not chemofied and drugged and sickish.

I choose who I wanna open up to and who I want to be close with. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that. Stop telling me I need to fix that or fix myself cos it only makes me feel like it's wrong to want to live life my own way. For some time I've been thinking about if maybe I'm not seeing things clearly but now it just affirms even more how I would rather be this way than any other way.

Those who haven't walked in my shoes won't understand and I don't expect anyone to either. Just don't tell me I'm wrong or that I need fixing. It's not right. Cos I think I'm quite well aware of what I need and I should and want to do.

Sigh. When things people say set me thinking way too much.

 

[JealousFool]

Why do I always feel so empty.

 

[Paraiyar]

I think the only way I can get rid of this feeling of wishing I could redo everything from 2009 till now is to make sure I'm doing everything I need to be doing in the present though. It's still a really bad feeling though.

 

[Wayfarer]

**** anxiety.

 

[VanillaCreme]

So because she's pregnant, that means she can steal? I'm glad he detained her, and in the way that he did, because her and the girl after her think that they can do whatever they want because they can just shout and scream and people are supposed to automatically defend them. And I don't know why some females are like that.


Also, I wish there was a way to cure some people from being a man-child. Ridiculous.

 

[Paraiyar]

Also, I wish there was a way to cure some people from being a man-child. Ridiculous.

Cured myself of it, hah. Well...Kind of....

 

[VanillaCreme]

Also, I wish there was a way to cure some people from being a man-child. Ridiculous.

Cured myself of it, hah. Well...Kind of....

Did it involve beating yourself with a bat? Because that's the point I'm at with ******* right about now.

:club:

 

[Paraiyar]

Also, I wish there was a way to cure some people from being a man-child. Ridiculous.

Cured myself of it, hah. Well...Kind of....

Did it involve beating yourself with a bat? Because that's the point I'm at with ******* right about now.

:club:

With a psychological bat perhaps.