What made you cry today?

[Serenia]

I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me.
I got too close, and let my guard down for the first time in four years.
Likewise, I got really hurt.
So, now I'm trying to get over her, and maintain a friendship, without talking about it. I DO have like one thing to ask her about, which is if she remembers the honeysuckle she said to me that night or not. I can't forwardly ask her like that though because she might choose to not know for that moment.
Anyway, I don't wanna lose the girl as a friend.
I've lost mostly all my friends.
That scared me more than anything else, I think.
I moved back here so I wouldn't be alone anymore. That is, what I mean is like totally alone. I can handle being single, as much as I ******* hate it. I'm sort of used to it. What I'm NOT used to is having no friends at all. Which I'm vastly approaching. The thought of being that alone anymore is actually so painful it makes me physically sick. Either I can't sleep, or I'll sleep too much. And I've lost my appetite. I need like a distraction, but I'm so depressed that all of my distractions, games, music, my instrument, movies, tv, all of it is just uninteresting. I can't afford to go drink, which is haha probably for the better.
Life just hit me like a ******* steamroller.

Really sorry you are going through this. I hope you can find a place to be happy in with this girl. Hugs.

 

[LonesomeDay]

Some memories of how circumstances left me with few friends, then none.

 

[Serenia]

The grateful tears of a loved one.

 

[Jently]

Listening to the tears of my daughter and not being able to help her

 

[scooter80]

well I'm watching some glastonbury and wishing I could be someone else

 

[lonelyfairy]

Life.

 

[Serephina]

well I'm watching some glastonbury and wishing I could be someone else

I'm really wishing I could be at Glastonbury,I have wanted to go for a long time now and something always comes up that prevents me being able to.

 

[johnny196775Again]

you do realize i cant chat with you now. or ever. You had said something that made me think you understood my situation. Its a bit painful to be around you now. You were kind of why i came back.

 

[Iceman1978]

What made me cry today?

Thinking back to have horrible I've been treated through most of my life and realizing what the impact of it has been. 30 years of emotional abuse will do quite a number on you.

 

[NightHawkJohn]

Many things tonight, just feeling particularly low tonight and started getting the suicidal feelings i get from time to time. I should feel better in the morning.

 

[Jently]

Watching the memorials to the 100 year anniversary of the first day of the Battle of the Somme.
So very moving. So many brave lives lost.
We Will Remember.

 

[lonelyfairy]

Impossibility.

 

[Serenia]

This merry go round.

 

[NightHawkJohn]

Superman died i was sad lol.

 

[Serenia]

The difference in a day.

 

[mauthecat]

Fighting

 

[melofsalem]

Trying not to fight

 

[Niantiel]

I went and saw the girl that made me cry last time today.
She's had a rough week. Lost her car, and her job a few weeks before.
Then she's fighting with her mom and her off/on boyfriend...idk wtf they are.
I don't think even she knows wtf they are.
At any rate, I decided to try to keep my distance emotionally.
She'd been walking around for about 5 or 6 miles in 34C weather in the shady side of town. I went out and picked her up...after a wild goose chase of trying to find her with a friend of hers who was also looking for her.
She's trying to get her life back together, and get her car back.
So, I bought her something to eat, brought her to my place, and let her look up jobs online on my laptop, since she lost her phone and computer as well.
Then, I drove her to see her man. They're trying to work things out.
After I dropped her off, I went to get beer....and then, stopped....because, I'm losing all of my money, partially from drinking all of the time. And just went home instead.
I cried as soon as I got in. It's hard loving someone who doesn't love you the same way. It's getting easier to deal with though. I have to keep her at a distance until I'm over it. It gets easier with time at least. My anxiety was such that I was having closed-eye horrific hallucinations while I kept trying to just go to bed. I think eventually, my brain got overloaded and I passed out while texting with a friend of mine about his situations. I AM proud that I didn't cave into drinking though. fresia that was a Hell of an experience instead however. That's, usually why I drink. Because, the anxiety-ridden hallucinations, and the emotional stress is a bit much for me at the same time. I just have to get better at...handling it properly rather than drinking.

 

[ladyforsaken]

^It was really nice what you did for her. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly though. :\

 

[Serenia]

Seeing him cry, when he saw me.