Where would I meet another introverted gal who wants a serious relationship?

[njlonelydude]

I don't really like going out much: not a drinker or partier, so those avenues aren't any good for me. I've also tried online dating (two different websites, 3 months on each), and I got absolutely nothing out of it.

I guess the kind of woman I'm looking for is similar in that regard -- someone who'd rather spend time at the library than at the club.

The thing is that the two of us have a rare chance of meeting each other in real life because we're both introverts. But, is there still a place I can meet someone like I'm describing?

 

[SofiasMami]

Hi-
I'm introverted and looking to meet someone and currently have my profile up on 2 dating web sites. My attempts have bombed so far over the past few months but I will keep my profile up for awhile as I think I'm just weeding out guys right now who aren't for me.
Where to meet women? Besides online, where have you tried? Have you gone to libraries, museums, community festivals, volunteered or gone to places where there are likely to be a lot of women (like maybe a cooking class?) Try to think of something to say that will break the ice when you see someone who rocks your world. Start out small and simple; you'll probably meet girls here and there who aren't interested or who don't want to talk but it will be at least some good practice with talking to girls.
Good luck!

Teresa

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I can sympathize with your plight. I think most people on here can. A lot of us are introverted and it's just not that easy to meet other introverted people. LOL. I have a boyfriend, but I've seen dating sites and the amount of people who say they like to party and stuff on them. That's pretty discouraging if you're looking for someone.

Where to meet women? Besides online, where have you tried? Have you gone to libraries, museums, community festivals, volunteered or gone to places where there are likely to be a lot of women (like maybe a cooking class?) Try to think of something to say that will break the ice when you see someone who rocks your world. Start out small and simple; you'll probably meet girls here and there who aren't interested or who don't want to talk but it will be at least some good practice with talking to girls.
Good luck!

Teresa

I agree with this. And when you go to these things, look for the girl who is sitting by herself, being quiet, or reading a book or something. She'll probably be really happy that you approached her. =) It's harder to notice them over the loud people, but if you really look for them, you'll find them.

 

[njlonelydude]

I agree with this. And when you go to these things, look for the girl who is sitting by herself, being quiet, or reading a book or something. She'll probably be really happy that you approached her. =) It's harder to notice them over the loud people, but if you really look for them, you'll find them.

Maybe it's just me, but if I'm engaged in an activity, it doesn't matter what the activity is (reading, writing, eating, watching a movie, playing video games, etc), and I'm by myself -- I tend to get really annoyed if someone bothers me. Sure, if the woman-of-my-dreams happens to disturb me, I won't be upset by it. But in my experience, speaking as a male, whenever I'm disturbed it's always by a person I don't feel like dealing with.

I can imagine that a woman in my shoes must get super-annoyed by a guy like me (especially with the kind of personality that I have) going up to her and disturbing her only to fulfill a romantic interest of his.

 

[tehdreamer]

You'd be surprised how many lonely girls wish some guy would come over and disturb them while they're alone. Personally, I'd be trilled if that ever happened to me.. That is, if the guy is nice. If he's a jerk, I'd be annoyed, but at least I'd have a story to tell It's just nice to get noticed sometimes.

 

[Badjedidude]

I feel like an ass because I never said hello to a girl sitting alone once. And she was visibly upset, too... maybe recently crying. At the time, I knew I should have gone over and asked if she was alright... but for some reason I just didn't.

And I regret it.

But I did learn my lesson. Now, when I see something like that, I never hesitate to walk over and introduce myself. Who knows what such a chance encounter could bring?

When in doubt, GO FOR IT!!

 

[edgecrusher]

yea im the same way. id like to meet someone that isnt into partying or drinking either. the library is no good though because reading just isnt for me. i lose interest very quickly.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I could spend all day in a library. I have before. Never been to a club though. That's not my scene. I actually want to go back the bookstore here. It's awesome.

 

[Brian]

But I did learn my lesson. Now, when I see something like that, I never hesitate to walk over and introduce myself. Who knows what such a chance encounter could bring?

When in doubt, GO FOR IT!!

Care to elaborate on your results?

 

[oarivan]

Look for forum threads like such: "Where would I meet another introverted lad who wants a serious relationship?"

In all seriousness, I've found forums and chatrooms are excellent places (assuming the interwebz is all you're comfortable with).

 

[Enchanted Girl]

I agree with this. And when you go to these things, look for the girl who is sitting by herself, being quiet, or reading a book or something. She'll probably be really happy that you approached her. =) It's harder to notice them over the loud people, but if you really look for them, you'll find them.

Maybe it's just me, but if I'm engaged in an activity, it doesn't matter what the activity is (reading, writing, eating, watching a movie, playing video games, etc), and I'm by myself -- I tend to get really annoyed if someone bothers me. Sure, if the woman-of-my-dreams happens to disturb me, I won't be upset by it. But in my experience, speaking as a male, whenever I'm disturbed it's always by a person I don't feel like dealing with.

I can imagine that a woman in my shoes must get super-annoyed by a guy like me (especially with the kind of personality that I have) going up to her and disturbing her only to fulfill a romantic interest of his.

Even if you're talking to an extroverted person, there's a risk of them being annoyed at you for talking to them.

Besides, I think there's something to what my boyfriend does when it comes to making friends. He just doesn't care whether they want him to approach or not. Half of his best friends hated him when he first tried to befriend them, but now they like him a lot.

Introverted people might not want you to approach them at first possibly, but they usually don't have that many friends and they'll probably get more comfortable with the idea after awhile, I think.

Especially if they aren't already in a relationship and looking for one.

And there's also the fact that it's more socially unacceptable for a girl to approach a guy than a guy to approach a girl and the only way introverted girls are probably going to meet anyone in that way is if someone approaches them.

 

[njlonelydude]

Maybe there should be a message board where a bunch of shy people can meet each other for dating purposes...that would either be a great idea or a ******* disaster.

 

[tehdreamer]

A bunch of shy people, standing around, staring at each other... Fun! I'm in for that idea

 

[njlonelydude]

A bunch of shy people, standing around, staring at each other... Fun! I'm in for that idea

Yeah, and I'll try not to act like a huge prick during the whole ordeal.