Why Do Good Women Stay With Bad Men?(Seriously)

[Callie]

before i begin, i just want to clarify that i'm not bashing on women. it's just that i've wondered this myself many times, and so i've asked myself this many times. i've also asked this many other people this, and they usually give me the same responses. you'll notice i'm not specifying a gender in my response. men get abused too believe it or not.

1. they need their spouse for financial support.
2. they take their wedding vows VERY seriously
3. they still have hope that their spouse will change
4. they stay for the kids
5. they have an outlet that levels the pain
6. their love for their spouse far outweighs their contempt for their spouse
7. they literally can't imagine living any other way
8. they figure they're all the same

...and that's all i can remember.

I will actually agree with all of these for the most part. But, each situation is different and there are always other factors involved that no one else really knows.

 

[TropicalStarfish]

(I wasn't with this thread from the beginning, but the very last few posts I read amounted to this.)

Why do people think things are so black and white? "Good" men? "Bad" men? "Good" women? "Bad" women? The human creature itself is such a complex thing, to deduce any one particular sex of the species into something as simple as either good or bad, seems so trite.

There are plenty of good natured people that make horrible stupid stupid decisions and vice versa.

There are stories, and I can't cite sources or what not, but some women literally wake up one day and find out they are married to a sociopath capable of murder. Some wives end up dead at the hands of their husbands spending every moment up until they're last trying to figure out how to escape. Most are just afraid. Afraid to leave, afraid to move, afraid to speak, afraid of saying the wrong thing, and did I mention just plain afraid?

These are the extreme cases and they are not as uncommon as one might think and they are very difficult to deal with and get past if they can be remedied at all. The authorities can only do so much and if the man is as "bad" as we are talking about, in other words, he is not a man, he is a monster, there is a chance he is a clever con man as well.

However, the simple reason why women stay with, monsters, is they are afraid and have no where to go. Another reason women tend to stay with more unsavory men is that they feel guilty. They feel they deserve to be treated that way and or have low self esteem and or find reasons to justify the abuse they are put through.

That all goes with the implication that women can be just as monstrous and or unsavory. Women are far less likely to be caught for their crimes and if caught chances are they are going to be convicted more harshly than a man or not at all.

You want a real tough question to wrap your head around, you could make a career out of trying to figure out what makes a monster, and then you could die trying to figure out how to prevent that from happening. The world is a very variable environment. And as ugly as it can be that's how beautiful it can be as well.

The why here is rather simple, it's the many necessary "how"s that become puzzling.

 

[oopsiedoop]

what sort of power are you proposing giving women right now which they do not have? My idea is to give them exoskeletions that enhance strength... because that would be really badass.

However that is my inner geek / engineer speaking, and I imagine it isn't quite what you have in mind.

Well, we already have weapons. So they could be armed as in your line of thinking. There are so many things that could happen. Why do we not steal? There's no real reason for it. It's just part of the social contract. That contract has got to start including women having power and being treated as such, because that's all men really understand. In the future, we'll all be enlightened. Until then, put men in jail on the basis of how they treat women. fresia FB. Let's have a website where all our boyfriends are rated and our stories related. We have a very complex society, a lot of expectations, and yet women have none. It's not men's fault because everyone wants power. It's women's consciousness that has to be raised. Slowly, we're getting it. But evolution takes time unfortunately. Still, the dinosaurs did die out finally.

 

[Limlim]

what sort of power are you proposing giving women right now which they do not have? My idea is to give them exoskeletions that enhance strength... because that would be really badass.

However that is my inner geek / engineer speaking, and I imagine it isn't quite what you have in mind.

Well, we already have weapons. So they could be armed as in your line of thinking. There are so many things that could happen. Why do we not steal? There's no real reason for it. It's just part of the social contract. That contract has got to start including women having power and being treated as such, because that's all men really understand. In the future, we'll all be enlightened. Until then, put men in jail on the basis of how they treat women. fresia FB. Let's have a website where all our boyfriends are rated and our stories related. We have a very complex society, a lot of expectations, and yet women have none. It's not men's fault because everyone wants power. It's women's consciousness that has to be raised. Slowly, we're getting it. But evolution takes time unfortunately. Still, the dinosaurs did die out finally.

Don't we have laws for that already? Is it a question of them not being enforced? If a man beats a woman (or hell anyone for that matter) can't they be charged with assault?

 

[SophiaGrace]

Chris brown was charged, serving 5 years probation and was allowed back at the grammy's 2 nights ago.

 

[kamya]

Rich ppls can do whatever they want dood. They don't play by the same rules. T.T

 

[SophiaGrace]

Its still disgusting though

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I don't believe in punishing all men for the actions of a few.

 

[Limlim]

Rich ppls can do whatever they want dood. They don't play by the same rules. T.T

Yeah that's a whole other problem in on itself. It was next to impossible to keep paris hilton in jail too.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Or R. Kelly. Who was videotaped molesting a child, but was allowed to continue his career!

Back on topic:

I think bad men should be put on some sort of blacklist, but it's more a police matter thing than a civilian justice thing. I don't agree that it's right to take justice into your own hands.

 

[kamya]

If the crime is bad enough there is a public sex offender list that people get put on. You can search them here.
http://www.familywatchdog.us/

There's 351 within a 5 mile radius of my house.

It gives their name, picture, address, what they were charged with, how old they were, and how old their victims were.

There might be similar lists for non sexual domestic abuse but I wouldn't know.

 

[jjam]

Chris brown was charged, serving 5 years probation and was allowed back at the grammy's 2 nights ago.

I don't think Chris Brown is a bad guy.
I think he's rich, has good looks, can dance and has a lot of women coming at him for those reasons. I think he is enjoying the life of a rock star. As far as hitting that woman goes, I think it's very possible she deserved it. I don't know the story in detail so I wouldn't judge him over it.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Chris brown was charged, serving 5 years probation and was allowed back at the grammy's 2 nights ago.

I don't think Chris Brown is a bad guy.
I think he's rich, has good looks, can dance and has a lot of women coming at him for those reasons. I think he is enjoying the life of a rock star. As far as hitting that woman goes, I think it's very possible she deserved it. I don't know the story in detail so I wouldn't judge him over it.

O____________________________________o

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Chris brown was charged, serving 5 years probation and was allowed back at the grammy's 2 nights ago.

I don't think Chris Brown is a bad guy.
I think he's rich, has good looks, can dance and has a lot of women coming at him for those reasons. I think he is enjoying the life of a rock star. As far as hitting that woman goes, I think it's very possible she deserved it. I don't know the story in detail so I wouldn't judge him over it.

Have you seen what he did to her, and heard the story of WHY he did it to her?!

She threw his car keys out the window. He in turn minced her face.

I'm sorry, but there's no comparison.

Also, Rihanna is like 1/2 the size of him. It makes him a cowardly little boy to go after someone who's smaller than he is, gender irregardless.

And also, she threw his car keys out the window because he was cheating on her, and she found the text. Not exactly a standup guy, Mr. Chris Brown.

 

[jjam]

Oh...

If that's the story, then yeah... a mod can delete my post now. lol!

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Oh...

If that's the story, then yeah... a mod can delete my post now. lol!

No problem.

I wasn't really offended, but yeah, I followed that story when it happened.

Chris Brown may have changed. He had anger issues, and went through anger management. But I wouldn't trust him with my daughter (if I had one), or my best friend!

He is good looking, but so are a lot of guys. They aren't all women beaters. For example, Stevie Wonder is 20 times (at least) more talented than him, and he has no history of beating any of his wives.

 

[jjam]

IF that's what happened, of course.
You say you followed the story, but how closely could that have possibly been? Who other than Chris and Rhianna REALLY knows the story?

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I do know that every single media outlet was reporting that they broke up, that Chris Brown was in anger management, and that Rihanna had gone to an abused women's shelter.

I definitely believe that's what happened. There were also eyewitness accounts that verified the story (some dude in the car behind saw her throw the keys out the window, saw Chris go searching for the keys, and then heard him yell "I'm gonna kill you!" and then hit her repeatedly until she passed out.

I was a mod on a Michael Jackson forum, where half the fans were also Chris Brown fans. I followed it, that's all I can say. I also had to break up several posters who would get into catfights over lies and half truths.

 

[Ghost Boy]

Chris brown was charged, serving 5 years probation and was allowed back at the grammy's 2 nights ago.

I don't think Chris Brown is a bad guy.
I think he's rich, has good looks, can dance and has a lot of women coming at him for those reasons. I think he is enjoying the life of a rock star. As far as hitting that woman goes, I think it's very possible she deserved it. I don't know the story in detail so I wouldn't judge him over it.

*Record Needle scratches*

 

[DesertWolf]

Chris brown was charged, serving 5 years probation and was allowed back at the grammy's 2 nights ago.

I don't think Chris Brown is a bad guy.
I think he's rich, has good looks, can dance and has a lot of women coming at him for those reasons. I think he is enjoying the life of a rock star. As far as hitting that woman goes, I think it's very possible she deserved it. I don't know the story in detail so I wouldn't judge him over it.

So is a poor, less attractive person who can't dance and doesn't have women "coming at him", a bad person? And since when has violence that's not in self-defense ever been excusable?
Wow... Just wow...