Why do I always attract the negative???

[ladysigh]

I'm really depressed over this, because I'm *tired* of it...of still feeling like the ten year old kid who only did what the other kids were doing but when I did it I was told to get lost...

Last week, after yet another bad experience with eBay I decided I was going to close my account on 11-11-11 (since I opened my account on 9-9-99 I thought that had a nice sound)...and because I'm familiar with how many angry former eBay members there are out there I thought I'd make a petition out of it. I submitted a letter explaining my petition to Auctionbytes...it immediately got one nasty response after another (don't know if I'm permitted to post the links so I'll refrain from doing so).

In comparison, a few days later, I see a scathing anti-eBay letter...the comments they received? Nothing but support and understanding, not a single snide remark. (Again, I'll post urls if its permitted.)

I can't word this any differently other than to say, why am I always the one picked on???? People submit anti-eBay letters to that site all the time...why was mine attacked for cryin out loud??? If you don't like my petition then DON'T sign it! And what happened to "if you can't say something nice then don't say anything" ? (btw it was hardly anything eBay fans should have been worried about as it received one signature.)

After ten comments I finally posted my last one, saying "Okay, guys, I'm done here. Go ahead and tell me off all you want if it makes you feel good...whatever...I'm gone.." Bullied out, again.

I still remember being told off a year ago on some unmoderated forum -- again, I just did what everyone else was doing, posting opinions (about the recent elections)...boy did I get ripped into...still gives me shudders when I recall how badly I was told off over nothing.

And I still scratch my head and say, why was I targeted for doing what everyone else was doing?

This has been happening for 40 years now...and I guess it always will.

Seriously, it makes me want to cry, not so much because it happens, but because I don't know *why* it happens.

Why does the world hate me?

=^..^=

 

[Tiina63]

I have the same problem. Other people say what they think, but as soon as I stop being 100% nice and do the same, I get pulled to pieces for it.

 

[Sci-Fi]

The world doesn't hate you. Maybe it's the way you go about it? I dunno, don't know you. Some people can say one thing and get support, the next person can say the exact same thing and get slaughtered. It's all in the wording, presentation, body language etc. Like telling a joke, one person can get tons of laughs, another person tells the joke and gets groans.

As for eBay...I stopped using them because of their sister company Paypal, who has horrible security and resolution. They knew my account got hacked and continued to allow the person to steal money from me. I talked about it on other forums I'm a member of and to friends who use Paypal and found out they were having similar problems. One friend of mine had 2k charged to his credit card and Paypal wouldn't do a thing. When my issue got resolved I closed my Paypal account and quit using eBay altogether.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I know this feeling all too well. Its not necessarily about not being nice, you had some problems with eBay and you vented (nothing wrong with that at all) but being rebuked despite others having done the same with no such consequences. It makes you think what you did wrong, why your views or opinions weren’t treated with the same respect as others, it makes you feel excluded and paints you in a bad light despite you doing nothing wrong. I can certainly understand how it makes you feel like a child again.

I’m not sure of the logic behind it, or indeed if there is logic at all. I can suggest a new idea at work and it gets shot down and criticised in seconds, the office idiot can then suggest the exact same thing a few seconds later and its praised and supported like a message from the gods. It could be the approach, that is always a possibility, but I don’t think it goes further than just sheer luck or perhaps people’s inability to accept or trust anything that comes from someone they’re not familiar with. E.g. you can tell a joke to a stranger and have them stare back in silence, you can tell the same joke to someone you know and they’ll laugh out loud. The joke itself may not be funny but the familiarity of the person telling it forces an expected response out of the listener.

If you’d PM me this links I’d be interested to read them.

 

[DeadSun]

now i really wanna read the comments,you should post the link,i think its ok if its not a link to something you're trying to sell or something...you know,inappropriate.

if you can't then you should PM me the link too.

 

[DudeIAm]

I wouldn't really take it to heart, ladysigh. I've been on forums for 6 or so years and had my fair share thread battles, pm battles and even forum battles. Don't let the keyboard commandos sucker you and drag you down to their level, as they tend to thrive on confrontation.

 

[Chasm]

agree with Dude
totally
will add 2 it that it really DOES have a lot 2 do with being part of the "clique" 2
just dont worry about it tho
usually ppl who act like that online have no lives

 

[ladysigh]

Okay, here are the links...

The main Letters page, nothing but complaint letters about eBay/PP (take a look at the comments left, all are supportive of the letter writer).

Here's my letter.

Here was a blog story they wrote also critical of eBay...three pages of comments, where were the jerks from my letter? (I even left my own comment regarding this observation Nov 14 08:27:49).

 

[Chasm]

lady
i read about 8-10 replies
most seemed ok
only 1 was harsh
the overall feeling i got was a feeling of understanding
but disillusionment
thats all
nothing so bad
like i said
xcept that 1 indiv
it sounds like most feel powerless over the situation
2 bad

 

[SophiaGrace]

maybe they sense something about you that makes them attack you? maybe you have a "thin skin" and can't deal with harsh words as much as those that have "thick skins" and speak their minds all the time?

Something to think about.

 

[fox]

The difference I saw, between your letter and others with better response, is yours called people to do some thing.. people like to complain, but not take action about it, which is probably why you got response you did.

 

[ladysigh]

maybe they sense something about you that makes them attack you? maybe you have a "thin skin" and can't deal with harsh words as much as those that have "thick skins" and speak their minds all the time?

Something to think about.

God I am so sick and tired of being told to "get thicker skin"! I wish instead we could make people behave in a more civilized fashion. (Here is my feeble attempt to do that with my own forum, which ironically uses both these terms in the banner graphic. Mods, feel free to edit out if I'm breaking rules here.)

Here's another case where I posted in a legal forum about ebay -- check out the snide remark in the first response (and watch me go ballistic afterwards).

---

lady
i read about 8-10 replies
most seemed ok
only 1 was harsh
the overall feeling i got was a feeling of understanding
but disillusionment
thats all
nothing so bad
like i said
xcept that 1 indiv
it sounds like most feel powerless over the situation
2 bad

Okay, here's the first 8-10 replies:

#1: Yeh right, you come pay my bills...

#2: My response to above

#3: Count me out. I'm not into cutting off my nose to spite my face. Boycotts never work.

#4: Supportive msg

#5: Big pro-ebay response, I respect your Boycott and your opinion. I don't see any link or promo to another sale site. That is good. Also it will nice to respect others opinions. Even if they sound ''rude'. Note the rude remark in sentence 3.

#6: My response to above: you have the nerve to lecture me about respect when your entire message is loaded with sarcasm...and how am I "forcing" anyboby to do anything??? I'm going to ask Ina to delete this letter, I foolishly thought this would be a better place than the ebay forum... And I did ask the site to delete the whole thing, but they refused.

#7: Supportive msg

#8: My response to #7 thanking them

#9: You get mad at anybody who tells you why they can't or won't do what you want and that is not a good way to sway me to your side...Please close your account. If you are unhappy, best to leave anyway is what I think. No sarcasm intended but don't sit here lecturing people who disagree with you. It's very unbecoming.

#10: My response to above: "You get mad at anybody who tells you why they can't or won't do what you want" --
Just what on earth are you talking about?
I have every right to react in kind to a rude comment.
"Don't sit here lecturing people who disagree with you" --
Again, where am I "lecturing"? Your entire message is a big lecture.
Okay, guys, I'm done here. Go ahead and tell me off all you want if it makes you feel good...whatever...I'm gone.

Sorry if I'm being dumb here, but "most" of these do NOT "seem okay" to me. And again, where is this sort of dynamic in the comments of other letters/articles on that site? If I had known it would be this negative I NEVER would have gone there. THAT'S what I don't get...

 

[Winterlong]

God I am so sick and tired of being told to "get thicker skin"! I wish instead we could make people behave in a more civilized fashion.

Totally agree

 

[blackdot]

In the age of the internet, negativity is the norm.
It's a wonder you didn't get a bunch of political comments as a response to your letter.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Human life is full challenges and obstacles.

Theres been plenty of negative events the happened in my life..even recently.
Its hasnt been so easy on me.

My current life situation isnt exactly as
I wished or planned to be.

I still try to maintain a positve attitude.
Somedays are better than others.

Tonight, im just greatful my fiance
And i are cuddling in a nice warn bed together.
We made love.
We both still alive.
Were both are still in decent health.
Theres a roof over our head.
Theres food in the frigg.
We have cable.
We have laptops.
Were safe.
Were not arguing.
we can take hot showers.
Hopefully i get paid tomorrow.
My mother called me today.
The ocean is 50 ft away.
Our dog didnt runaway.
We have clean clothe to wear.
We have access to the net and cell.