Why do I hate her so much?

[Badjedidude]

I have to agree there. I've seen lots of guys mistake mere friendliness for an interest, only to become frustrated when the girl finally had to tell them to hit the road.

I always try to be as blunt as possible..if I even suspect that a woman's flirting with me, I'll ask her point-blank: "Are you flirting with me?" Maybe not too romantic or flirty, but it weeds out the misunderstandings pretty quickly.

----Steve

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I always try to be as blunt as possible..if I even suspect that a woman's flirting with me, I'll ask her point-blank: "Are you flirting with me?" Maybe not too romantic or flirty, but it weeds out the misunderstandings pretty quickly.

Blunt works, especially for people who may have trouble distinguishing clues from body language.

 

[Badjedidude]

Well, I understand the general concept that if a woman is physically cringing away from me, avoiding all contact whatsoever...that she probably has less-than-fond feelings about/for me.

But you have to admit there can be some confusingly gray areas. Sometimes it is genuinely difficult for a guy (am I speaking alone here or do you other guys agree?) to tell when a girl is interested in HIM or if she's just enjoying herself or the environment in general. That's why I stick to words.

----Steve

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well, I understand the general concept that if a woman is physically cringing away from me, avoiding all contact whatsoever...that she probably has less-than-fond feelings about/for me.

But you have to admit there can be some confusingly gray areas. Sometimes it is genuinely difficult for a guy (am I speaking alone here or do you other guys agree?) to tell when a girl is interested in HIM or if she's just enjoying herself or the environment in general. That's why I stick to words.

----Steve

I agree with you completely here.

However, I'm still ROFLMAOOOOOOOOOO@ "I understand the general concept that if a woman is physically cringing away from me, avoiding all contact whatsoever...that she probably has less-than-fond feelings about/for me" ... at the moment!!! lol

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Well, I understand the general concept that if a woman is physically cringing away from me, avoiding all contact whatsoever...that she probably has less-than-fond feelings about/for me.

Yes, recoiling away is never a good sign. lol

But you have to admit there can be some confusingly gray areas. Sometimes it is genuinely difficult for a guy (am I speaking alone here or do you other guys agree?) to tell when a girl is interested in HIM or if she's just enjoying herself or the environment in general. That's why I stick to words.

I can only speak for myself and how I act, but if I am interested in a man, my body language is going to be different from how it is if I'm just generally having a good time. For example:

General Good Time: smiling, laughing, politely attentive to what someone is saying, making occasional eye contact, talking to everyone pretty much equally.

Into Someone: smiling more often, leaning in toward someone, making sure that there is physical contact, like leaning on someone, touching an arm, lingering eye contact, talking to one person to the exclusion of everyone else

I mean, I don't throw myself at a guy, but I'm not all that terribly subtle either. lol

HOWEVER, alcohol consumption changes everything for most of us. Lots of us are way more flirtatious after a few drinks than we normally would be. That still doesn't signal interest. :/

 

[kelbo]

Yes I SHOULD try to not hate her because its (supposidely) wrong. But I guess I don't care. I know perhaps on a surface level it is not her fault, though I think she led me on slightly, but knowing this doesn't change the feelings. I'm also angry coz I feel like she is with him just because he has a business.

Woah. It sounds like you are angry because you are just jealous. You are trying to blame this girl for YOUR feelings. How can you rationalise that in your own mind? No offense, I don't mean to come across as harsh, but you seriously need to try and rethink this situation. Look at what you are saying - "I guess I don't care" - that isn't very nice at all, is it? She is still a human being and one that hasn't done anything wrong to you..

But you have to admit there can be some confusingly gray areas. Sometimes it is genuinely difficult for a guy (am I speaking alone here or do you other guys agree?) to tell when a girl is interested in HIM or if she's just enjoying herself or the environment in general. That's why I stick to words.

I think you are being a bit...one sided here. It is difficult to read guys just as hard as it is to read girls. I am always getting hit on randomly and suddenly by a friend of a friend (well not always, that makes me sound like some super-sexy-lady which I am definitely not) however my point is, when this happens I am always so confused. They usually say "well haven't you been reading the signals" or something to that effect. I'm just useless in the so-called dating world. If anybody shows me attention I don't automatically assume it is because they want me, I just think they want to be friends.

Being blunt is easiest. If I like someone, I'll just tell them and I expect the same from others too. All that arsey farsey body language crap is just too complicated and easily confused for other motives. I'd rather get straight to the point.

 

[EveWasFramed]

lmao@ "arsey farsey" and files that away for future use.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

If anybody shows me attention I don't automatically assume it is because they want me, I just think they want to be friends.

I do know some people who do think this way:
"She talked to me... she must want me!"
"He looked at me... He loves me!"

Seriously wacked.

Also, I'm lmao @ arsy-farsy

 

[Steel]

OP:

Wow, the poor girl. She's done absolutely nothing wrong, yet you've decided you hate her simply because you're obsessed with her.

I doubt very much that she "led you on". It sounds like she has been above board with you the whole time.

Do the decent thing, and arrange a way of moving out.

 

[Alex]

Human nature has it that she will be more attracted to him for being higher status by having a business, we are all selfish to survive, I want to go along with my survival instincts which is a desire to be a dick and annoy her if it makes me feel better, as it gets me some measure of attention.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

Why should I move out, I would rather stay and attempt to subtly frustrate and humiliate her as I fantasize about doing...

I want to go along with my survival instincts which is a desire to be a dick and annoy her if it makes me feel better, as it gets me some measure of attention.

Well, honestly, your attitude here is hateful, nasty and immature.

You are acting as though she rejected you, when you never even told her how you felt about her. You two were never a couple, why are you treating her as if she were your ex?

If this is how you plan to act over one of your obsessions (and your rationalization for it), then I would hate to see what you would do to someone with whom you'd had a relationship after a break-up.

Wow.

 

[Zak]

Are you for real?

I mean WOW. What the hell are you thinking? What will you feel if some random person whom you even dont know much about starts cursing you all of a sudden? Wouldnt it feel sick?

 

[Steel]

She is not a poor girl...she is older than me and has had loads of bfs. I don't think she would be threatened by me probably just think I'm pathetic. Why should I move out, I would rather stay and attempt to subtly frustrate and humiliate her as I fantasize about doing. That's evil perhaps, but why should I not be selfish, everyone is selfish. Human nature has it that she will be more attracted to him for being higher status by having a business, we are all selfish to survive, I want to go along with my survival instincts which is a desire to be a dick and annoy her if it makes me feel better, as it gets me some measure of attention.

Don't try and justify your own inadequacies by claiming everyone is selfish like you are. Personally, I think you're one sick puppy; this girl has done nothing to you, and yet you plan on making her life a misery.

If you had any genuine feelings for her, rather than a disturbing obsession, then you wouldn't want to punish her.

Just.. wow.

 

[Alex]

Well I know I don't really care for her, that's how this thread started how the feelings I have thought are love are not really, and each time seem to be more dependence, and fear of abandonment, and was despairing as to whether this can change.

 

[Zak]

Well I know I don't really care for her, that's how this thread started how the feelings I have thought are love are not really, and each time seem to be more dependence, and fear of abandonment, and was despairing as to whether this can change.

If that's the case, wouldn't it be easier to forget everything and move on like a matured man rather than sulking about a "thought love but not-love" relationship?

 

[Steel]

Well I know I don't really care for her, that's how this thread started how the feelings I have thought are love are not really, and each time seem to be more dependence, and fear of abandonment, and was despairing as to whether this can change.

Behaving like an ******* towards her isn't going to help anything though. Chances are it will end up making your life miserable as well; such things have a habit of rebounding.

You just need to accept it isn't going to happen, and move on with your own life. Preferably before you become known as the creepy and obnoxious housemate.

Hatred never helps. It's just going to poison your view of the world, to the point where you will see the worst in everyone.

 

[Twitchy]

Why should I move out, I would rather stay and attempt to subtly frustrate and humiliate her as I fantasize about doing. That's evil perhaps, but why should I not be selfish, everyone is selfish.

Regardless of what you think she deserves, living there isn't doing you any good psychologically. The best thing you can probably do for yourself is leave and work on finding a healthy relationship with someone that isn't her.

If you simply have to do something terrible, just steal some furniture or dismantle the toilet before you go.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I'm free to think , feel, belive and live as I chose...at the same tokken everyone else is free to think, feel,belive and live as they chose.

I'm powerless over people place and things.
I can only change myself...
I can't save the world nor anyone else.

No one can compel me to do anything.
I have no rights to compel, judge, tell other people how they live.
Even if I did...that's on me, it's my problems, my feelings that gets hurt, my let downs or honeysuckle the gose in my head.
Whatever it is that I think or belive will not change anyone.
I'm not the center of the universe...the world dosn't evolve around me.
No one needs my permission to live as they chose to live ,even if she was married to me. I don't own her.
Whatever value or morals I chose to live are mine.
Right , wrong or indifference...I chose to be free. Free of my haTe and insanities.
I chose to allow myself to grow up...the things thaT my father nevered allowed me to do.

It dosn't matter if I think other people dosn't care...
I care...about me. It's self caring, self loving.
I'm for me and against no one.
I love myself today...
No woman can FIX me...
beside..I can't give what i don't have.

I've cuased enough pains to myself and others in my life. I'm done with my bullshit too.
I'm so grateful she's allow me back into her life. It wasn't all about me, it never was.
It takes so so much to build and love.
It only took less than 5 mins for me to destroyed something and hurt someone I love very, very much.
And i hated myself more than anyone else. The things I've said and done, I can never take back.
it was un-necessery fucken pains and suffering. I hated myself even more for being like my father.
I hated my father and nevered wanted to be like him...but there I was doing the same fucken thing...

Surely, she allowed me back into her life wasn't becuase I still hate her, still angery at her or wanted sometype of revenge.
And I'm possitively sure it's about love. And that love has to begin with me if I'm to love her.

I can process my anger, hate or whatever feelings I need to process without hurting myself nor anyone.
I needed to work on myself...adandonment issues, neglect issues, abused issues, co-dependency issues, control issues,
drugs/alcohol abuse issues and whatever the hell other issues i had.
That's why I kept putting myself in simular situations over and over again....becuase of my freaken issues.
The name and place would change but ulitmately,...I ended up at the same cross roads over and over again
They don't go away by themselve. I needed conseling, therapy, support groups.

I had to hit a bottom..and whatever that bottom was, it wasn't pretty. The wreckage, pains and suffering got worst and worst...
It didn't matter how much i got messed up and how many women I messed after that. The guilt , shame and pains never went away,
no matter how much I tried to convience myself I didn't give a honeysuckle or cared...the truth of the matter was...I did.
I wasn't well...the wreackage and pains that I inflicted upon myself and others only made me sicker and sicker...
I didn't fresia around, i messed plenty of women that threw themselves at me (appearently they were sicker than me) and hurted a lot of people after that.
It wasn't a healthy way to live. Incomprehenceable demoralizations... I SHOWED HER...

No one going to convience me other wise. I got well, when I wanted to get well...Been there and done that.
Lots and lots consequence, wreackage, pains and suffering. A heavy price. I had no one to blame except for myself.
As a matter of fact...it's was grace becuase..I didn't wanted to stop..
And it's grace now that there's love in my life.

I don't judge you...becuase I nevered wanted to be fixed either.

 

[shells]

Your antics are going to bite you in the butt one day. It's going to leave you a very lonely person. Or has it already?

[quote="Alex]Why should I move out, I would rather stay and attempt to subtly frustrate and humiliate her as I fantasize about doing. That']

The only one you are frustrating and humiliating, is yourself. I hope that girl or you wises up and moves out before this situation escalates.

Either way, good luck.

 

[SophiaGrace]

[quote="Alex] everyone is selfish.[/quote]



and the woman that throws herself on a live grenade to save others?

or the man that throws himself into the freezing river to save someone that is drowning?

are they selfish?